Consecration of the fight against Planned Parenthood to Jesus through Mary

Two weeks ago, my abortion protester friend, Marcelle left a message with Glen, because he got there before I did, and she had to go. It was a copy of a Catholic prayer specific to the abortion issue, but it was not the prayer that she had shown me a couple of weeks before that. Glen said that she thought that I might be upset with her.

She wrote this above the prayer:

Please read this!!
The reason I am writing this is because I love you and I don'[t want any misunderstanding to separate our friendship. I am asking you to read this prayer that we pray so you will have a better understanding why we pray to Jesus through His Mother (a human being). I ask you to pray for me a human being why not with Mary a human being. A Mother's prayer is always powerful remember she is the spouse of the Holy Spirit and a child of God the Father as we also are. Thank you I love you!!!
Marcella

Here is the prayer:

Consecration of the fight against Planned Parehthood to Jesus through Mary
NOTE: It is intended that this prayer should be said by the group fighting PP in their community together at some public gathering - perhaps in a church or outside Planned Parenthood. It would be said once and then repeated on an annual basis.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
O most Holy Mother of God, "who bore in your womb the very One who the heavens cannot contain," *to you we consecrate our efforts to stop Planned Parenthood's evil attacks upon humanity.

Since God ordained to bring His son, Jesus, into the world through you, so we humbly ask that, through you, we will bring Jesus to the very doors of Planned Parenthood and into the hearts of all who work or enter there.

With full confinece in you, we consecrate all our efforts, through you, to your Devine Son. Through your Immaculate Heart, we ask that you bring love and peace to all communities.

Banish, we beg you, Planned Parenthood and its progeny from the face of the earth. Crush, once and for all, the head of the serpent that schemes and strikes every day, taking the lives and souls of our children.

Holy Spirit, spouse of Mary, breathe forth a new and profound spirit of wisdom and respect for every human being's life upon those individuals who are employed by or volunteer their time or provide financial support for Planned Parenthood's efforts. Grant a softening of the cold, steely hearts that deny dignity and legal protection to all people, and grant that, from the first moment of biological development, the personhood of every human being be proclaimed and protected by law, respected by all, and honored as a unique and sacred gift from God.

Blessed Mary, who has been granted power by God to assist those on earth, by that power may Planned Parenthood, its progeny, and all like-minded entities that exist to destroy the human person be permanently driven out of our communities, our country and our world, and may those who commit and promote these heinous crimes against humanity open themselves to a profound conversion of heart.
Amen

Prayer approved by Bishop Emeritus John W. Yanta
*St. Louis De Montfort's Little Crown of the Blessed Virgin Mary, True Devotion to the Blessed Virgin Mary (Bay Shore, NY: Montfort Publications, 1980) p. 176-179.

There are so many things to say about this, that it is overwhelming. I will say just a few things now, and maybe come back to it again later.

First:

Marcella I don't want a such a misunderstanding of the person and work and sufficiency of Jesus Christ to separate you from Christ.

Mary was the wife of Joseph, not of the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit miraculously created life in Mary's womb, out of wedlock. The Bible speaks briefly, and matter-of-factly of Mary's other children, conceived through normal marital relations with her husband, Joseph.

While the title of the prayer indicates that the pro-life efforts are consecrated to Jesus, through Mary, the first paragraph says, "to you we consecrate our efforts to stop Planned Parenthood..." In contrast, then the third paragraph says "With full confidence in you, we consecrate all our efforts, through you, to your Divine Son."

The fourth paragraph begs Mary to banish Planned Parenthood et al. Here the prayer also speaks of Mary's work of crushing the head of the serpent, (this particular serpent being the one that schemes to kill children's lives and souls). This work was clearly spoken of as Christ's (the progeny of Eve) in Genesis.

Any work of the Holy Spirit in this prayer seems to be strengthened by His relationship with Mary, not because He is God.

Marcelle had told me that Mary was granted power by Christ on the cross to help mankind. The final paragraph in this prayer speaks of this power, but I cannot find this granting of power to Mary in Scripture.

I am still here. God help me.

On March 9, we watched a show on Mtv about some young people who had left the Amish community. It's part of Mtv's "True Life" series. This one was called "I'm Ex Amish." I don't know how to find links to it, or upload significant snippets, so I will try to express what impressed me about this show.

I don't know a lot about the Amish, and I don't promote lifestyle as faith. I think they have a lot of things wrong, but most of us do. If, however, they are counting on the purity of their lives to commend them to God, then they are fatally wrong.

One of the young people featured on this show was a young woman, who ran away from home when she was fifteen. She ended up in New York, and loved living there. She expressed a constant yearning, however, to have peace with her father. Finally, she contacted her family, and her father agreed to meet. With an Mtv crew in tow, she headed out to her family's home for a visit. She was scared and excited.

When she was nearly there, she called her Dad. She explained to us that her family had since "moved to a more liberal church" and now had a phone. She was pleasantly surprised that her Dad was so friendly and welcoming on the phone.

When she arrived at a normal-looking home, with modern conveniences, her regular-looking sister in a regular-looking dress greeted her excitedly. Her mother hugged on her, and her Dad smiled nervously. He wanted to talk to her alone.

The Mtv crew hung out on the deck and listened in as the Father pleaded with his daughter regarding Jesus, Scripture and Truth. She stormed out, claiming that he didn't respect her. She drove home venting that she hates it when he comes at her with the Bible.

This is heroic. I was impressed. The Dad was not pleading for the Amish, or for the lifestyle, or for the family or for customes or traditions. He was pleading in the name of Jesus for his daughter's life right in front of Mtv and everybody.

What fear of God this is. What a putting-off of the fear of Man! This is loving the Lord first, which causes us to love our children, our spouses, our bretheren, and sinners.

While I was out of the room, they "agreed to disagree" and she was welcome to visit, and willing to do so.

Then her grandmother died. She was asked to come to the funeral, and her father bought her an airplane ticket to come: one way.

She was infuriated that he disrespected her by not making the ticket round trip. She refused to come to the funeral, and they haven't spoken since.

Did the Dad reject the daughter? No.

The daughter rejected the Dad at each point and finally (up to this point). She actually desires the Dad, but the Dad is Christ's servant, and she will not have that.

She knows where to find him, and she knows that she will find him with his Bible, and his Saviour.

Teach me kindness, Lord, regarding customs and preferences, and a forehead of flint regarding truth and devotion to You.

May they always know where to find me: right here with my Bible and my Saviour!

Set Yourself Ablaze this Christmas, or anytime!

Once again, from long ago on the Bayly Blog, my favorite story:

Christmas, 1988, N Train

A young woman we know writes: It was the gilt-edged pages that gave him away. Most people who read the Bible on the subway have a small pocket edition and keep it to themselves. This young man looked as if he had come away with the family King James. Otherwise, he was ordinary-looking; gray jacket, plaid scarf, blue jeans, white sneakers, bristly brown hair; a gold wedding band. He waited until the N train had pulled out of the Queensboro Plaza station and was under the East River, and then he read aloud, "In those days a decree went out from Caesar Augustus…" A groan went out from my fellow-passengers.

Talk about a captive audience. The train was too crowded for people to switch cars. And New Yorkers will put up with all sorts of things rather than give up their seats on the subway. I couldn’t help thinking that the young man was lucky there were no maniacs aboard and no piles of stones at hand. But no matter how you feel about being force-fed the gospel under the East River it holds up better than the Times or the Post or the subway ads for Dr. Zizmor, dermatologist. Anyway, no one moved. No one said, "Oh, shut up." No one wanted to be identified as an irreligious loner at Christmastime.

I found myself criticizing the young man’s intonation. He had a good strong voice, but the words rocked up and back unvaryingly: "…to be enrolled with Mary, his betrothed, who was with child." When he was done, and the shepherds had rejoiced, he changed--thank goodness--his rhythm. He started singing "Joy to the World." He sang two full verses of it, again in a good, strong voice. But no one joined in. I was tempted, partly because I felt sorry for him--singing in the face of so much hostility--and also because I’m a sucker for actual human voices raised in song, as opposed to canned carols such as one hears in Doubleday (pa-rum-pa-pum-pum) and in Barnes & Noble (gloh-o-o-o-o-oh-o-o-o-o-oh-o-o-o-o-oh-ria). But I was sitting next to a man rigid with pain and fury at having his subway meditations interrupted, and I felt sorry for him, too. Especially when the young man finished singing and began to preach, reminding us that we were all God’s creatures on the N train and that for each of us He had a plan. God’s creature next to me was probably thinking that he didn’t take the subway to fall in with God’s plan--he took the subway to get to Fifty-ninth and Lexington.

(“The Talk of the Town” in The New Yorker, Dec. 26, 1988.)

So go out and light yourself on fire! What have you got to lose?

Middle-aged White Guys

Once a month, we try to get to the IU campus to talk to people about abortion, protecting unborn children, life, death, sin, salvation, etc.

In March, because of the whole discussion about being mindful of purpose, I was a little short with some people. I was disappointed in myself, frankly.

I am trying to figure things out, all the time. One of the hardest for me, is relational. How to talk to people. Small-talk for me deteriorates into empty jokes, or worse it becomes not worthwhile, and just evaporates along with whatever relationship and future opportunity for meaningful conversations that might have been.

Conversations about meaningful things turn into lectures, with me doing the lecturing, which has a tendancy to boil away most relationships and future opportunities for meaningful conversations that might have been.

God is good, though, and through my faltering attempts to keep my conversations that meaningful, He let me meet a young woman who is going into the army soon. I wish I could see her again. I will definitely keep her in my prayers. I hope to see her again, soon.

Two quotes of the day for this month:


1. "Yah, but if it is illegal, only criminals will get abortions!" This is true, and what an interesting way to put it! It just calls to mind for me some lyrics. I think they (didn't) go something like this:

Imagine no injustice
It's not so hard to do:
Someone kills a child,
They get arrested too.
Imagine all the babies
Being born in peace!

You-woo-who-o-o You may say I'm a dreamer
But I love the Only One
Who can save you from all these lies!
The Truth of Christ can set you free!

Imagine all the people
Born and unborn
The strong protecting the weak
A brother-hood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world.

You-woo-who-o-o You may say I'm a dreamer
But I offer hope to you.
Turn to Jesus now
Our Lord is quick to save!

Imagine all the women
Treated with respect
With her husband there with her
Not giving in to fear
Imagine all the people
Supported through tough times

You-woo-who-o-o You may say I'm a dreamer
But that how it should be
Those in need aren't enmies
But they are blessing indeed!

2. (A car full of young angry women) "I just love to see middle-aged white guys holding those signs! @P#^&@!"
(to the left you will see our middle-aged white guys holding signs...ya gotta lov'm)

Scott, the young white man with the sign, showing abortion statistics, wrote about this encounter at his blog. (In a more recent post, he defended scripture against attacks...very level-headed; highly recommended for it's quiet calm.)

While we were out, someone who claimed to be from the IDS came along and asked if he could ask us questions. (I finally figured out who he reminded me of. You can see in the pic to the right.) I thought that was fine, until he lead me away to a table and chair down the sidewalk. I think this is one of those distractions, those things that take us away from why we are there. I learned from this to remain where sent, and he is more than welcome to talk to me just like anyone else there. (I haven't found the alleged article in the IDS)

Afterward, we had everyone involved, except that young white man holding a sign, and the character from the IDS, over for food and fellowship. Both were invited. It was a good, good time.

The Open Mind: Is it a door we should walk through?

I am going to think this through. Feel free to voice your thoughts, because I haven't got it all figured out. Let's think biblically.

For some time, the CGS Pro-life group has been going on campus (actually, just across the street from on-campus, where free speech by non-student entities is still allowed) with a pro-life outreach. Some people hold signs, some hand out brochures or flyers, and some are able to engage people in conversations regarding dangers to and protection of the unborn, the characteristics and needs and rights of the unborn, etc.

This is an area of outreach that Glen and I at first avoided. Various "reasons" held us back. We are old; they are young. They won't listen to us. That is for the younger people. They are sophisticated and swimming in wisdom, and we are ordinary and have fumbling tongues. Eventually, all these things got shook out, and we are convinced that this is where we need to be from time to time.

The very things that previously held us back, now spur us on. We are old, and must share our wisdom and experience with the young. They won't listen to us, unless we have something to say. Very often, it is one's contemporaries that are the hardest to talk to, or to listen to, even though everyone struts about stating the opposite, together. Most importantly, the wisdom of the world is foolishness to God (I Corinthians 1).

Jeremiah 8:9
The wise will be put to shame;
they will be dismayed and trapped.
Since they have rejected the word of the LORD,
what kind of wisdom do they have?

On February 16, we went on campus, and Glen and I were not alone, but we had the Clint&Ginger family, and Carole, who introduced me to the idea of standing in defense of the unborn.

It's good to have others involved. Among many reasons is because through them I am able to see more clearly. I can see that what I had previously thought was great might be some distraction; but I am not sure, and this is what I am trying to think out here...
A man named Stephen came along, and when I first approached him, he refused my brochure. I asked more direct questions, attempting to engage him in conversation. He said that he undertands my point of view, but also understands the pro-choice view. I encouraged him to speak openly to me and to read my brochure, since a child is a person from conception, and ought to deserve, and certainly needs our protection.

He took the brochure and saw the panel that tells about sin and judgement and mercy. "Ah," he said, "you see, I have a problem with organized religion." ...and away we went. This man had read so many things, and accepted so many conflicting ideas as possibilities, that he frankly was at a loss for words at times to express the profoundly inexpressible. The only thing that he seemed opposed to considering was the God of the Bible, especially as revealed as a masculine entity. At this point, a friend of his inturrupted our encounter, and I slipped away. I was surprised that he reapproached me after his friend moved on.

He again asserted that he was too open minded to go for the old god-bible-religion thing. Since his basis for truth seemed so nebulous and broad-based, I told him that we really need to have a solid foundation of truth on which to bounce all these ideas, whether foolish or wise, off of to determine which to keep and which to discard. He talked, starry-eyed, about love for everyone as a basis of truth. I told him that he is right about that. The Bible tells us that true religion is caring for the orphan and widow, and loving our enemy and our neighbor as ourselves. So I told him that I, for instance would be in sin to leave this encounter if I didn't love him enough to tell him that he was dying in his sin, and that he would die and go to hell unless he submitted to God's Word in repentance, and embraced His Son in humility (I can't remember how I said it, certainly not so eloquently). He was visibly taken aback by this. I was certain he would walk away, but he continued.

He regained his composure, and said that even Jesus said that people would do things even greater than the things that he did, so he was admitting that he wasn't "all that." Praise be to God, who by His Holy Spirit is able to give us all that we need to do His good will, I was able to tell this man that Jesus said:

John 14:11 Believe me when I say that I am in the Father and the Father is in me; or at least believe on the evidence of the miracles themselves. 12 I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father. 13 And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father. 14You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.

Eventually, I encouraged him to call or email me to continue the conversation, and we parted with a handshake and a friendly smile. I walked away, and moments later looked to where I had left him, and he was still there, looking at the brochure, and he waved at me again.

Another thing that happened that made me think, was that we saw a the woman that I have mentioned before, who is pregnant and will be keeping her baby. I had been unable to reach her for such a long time, and I was overcome with joy to see her. I spent quite a few minutes talking to her, both me and Ginger.

I am just not sure if I let myself get tied up with these people, or if they were valuable conversations. Can I be brief and caring? Do I cling to people because they will talk to me? Do I want nothing more than to win an arguement, for the sake of winning? How can I tell if this is a conversation that God wants me to engage in or a distraction sent by satan to prevent someone else from hearing a word from God's servant?

Talk to me.

Inter-Active

Last Thursday was a highly interactive day at Planned Parenthood in Bloomington. God was busy, pruning those He loves.

Pray:

On the previous Thursday, Ginger spent a great deal of time and words and care on a couple who seemed to be there for an abortion. The woman called her mother, who prayed on the phone with her. Ginger gave her her phone number, which she took. She said that if she didn't do this, she would need a ride, because he would leave her there. Finally, they came out. It seemed that they had changed their mind, although they did not stop to tell Ginger that they had as they left together. This Thursday they cae back. Their resolve was locked, and their coutenence unshakable. They killed their baby.

From time to time during the week, I thought of them, and prayed. I prayed little prayers like sticky notes left on the bathroom mirror or refrigerater door for God to see when He happened across them. This was not a pleading for the life of a child, or the soul of a friend. There was no pounding on His door in the middle of the night.

Be No Respecter of Persons:

A couple showed up in a car that was held together by bungy cords. The guy had a huge knitted hat that was filled with his dreadlocks. The girl was bouncy and giddy, and there was an awkward silence about the length of a stick of butter before anyone said anything to them. Most people have words before they shut their car door.

On the other hand:

A large white bearded man drove up in a white hot rod with two young black women. He parked and the two girls went in together. After a while, I noticed that his car window was wide open, so I stood behind his car on the adjacent property and talked to him. I frankly told him what this looked like, what they were doing at Planned Parenthood that day. I offered him information, phone numbers, and help. I offered to talk to him about what was going on.
Once, he turned around in his seat to look at me, but otherwise, he remained unmoved.
Then, the younger of the two women came out. I asked her if she was here for an appointment. She said she was not here for an abortion. I told her that that is what they were doing there that day. She said she knew that, and that she just couldn't wait for her sister any longer, because she did not believe in abortion. She said she was a Christian.

Suddenly that large man, who drove her there, and sat in the car while the women take care of their business, got out of his car and finds his tongue, behind the skirts of this young black woman. He's suddenly telling me that he didn't appreciate me standing there trying to lay a guilt trip on him. They were not ther for an abortion but to "prevent pregnancy" and if I wanted to talk about the Bible, he would be happy to engage in that because he is a deacon in a church. (About that time, my deacon - and hero Glen - can be seen heading over in our direction and this fellow ducks back into his car and tells the girl to get in as well.

I don't know all that he said, because I was giving the girl a brochure, and telling her that I would like to talk to her, if she needs to talk, and her sister too. She did take the brochure, and when the man told her to get in the car, she did.

A deacon? Well, shet ma mouth! I should be coming to him for guidance. I waved at the girl in the back seat when they left. She smiled and waved back.

Right is wrong; good is bad; those who shun evil have become prey:

A red car arrived, parked near us, and a woman, and two men fot out. The woman flipped her finger over her shoulder, as one of the men escorted her quickly to the door.

One of the men hung back. He seemed to get all caught up in what people were saying to him. When he said that the baby is not a baby yet, I showed him my brochure and told him about what's going on with his baby right now. He tore it in half and threw it on the ground. Then he went to the guard and asked if it was illegal for us to do this.

That just is so ironic, and may come to be: That it will be legal to kill a child, and illegal to speak against it.

Clint, Ginger, everyone spent a great deal of time with this man. He was a puzzle for me. Sometimes I thought he must be pulling our chains. Sometimes, I thought he was just a simple man who believed that if it was a child, it would be illegale to kill it, therefore, it must not be a child.

I don't know how this last on turned out.

Pray:

For the couple who killed there child, and for the woman's mother, that she will be a convicting and restoring agent in her life. May they come to Christ.

For the two men and a woman in the red car. God, help them. Holy Spirit, take my prayers to the Father, and make them righteous.

For the deacon and the two black women. For this deacon's church.

God, teach us to pray. Teach us to love. Teach us Your way, and lead us in the path everlasting! In Christ name I pray, Amen

Polycarp on the N Train

Once again, from long ago on the Bayly Blog, my favorite story:

Christmas, 1988, N Train

A young woman we know writes: It was the gilt-edged pages that gave him away. Most people who read the Bible on the subway have a small pocket edition and keep it to themselves. This young man looked as if he had come away with the family King James. Otherwise, he was ordinary-looking; gray jacket, plaid scarf, blue jeans, white sneakers, bristly brown hair; a gold wedding band. He waited until the N train had pulled out of the Queensboro Plaza station and was under the East River, and then he read aloud, "In those days a decree went out from Caesar Augustus…" A groan went out from my fellow-passengers.

Talk about a captive audience. The train was too crowded for people to switch cars. And New Yorkers will put up with all sorts of things rather than give up their seats on the subway. I couldn’t help thinking that the young man was lucky there were no maniacs aboard and no piles of stones at hand. But no matter how you feel about being force-fed the gospel under the East River it holds up better than the Times or the Post or the subway ads for Dr. Zizmor, dermatologist. Anyway, no one moved. No one said, "Oh, shut up." No one wanted to be identified as an irreligious loner at Christmastime.

I found myself criticizing the young man’s intonation. He had a good strong voice, but the words rocked up and back unvaryingly: "…to be enrolled with Mary, his betrothed, who was with child." When he was done, and the shepherds had rejoiced, he changed--thank goodness--his rhythm. He started singing "Joy to the World." He sang two full verses of it, again in a good, strong voice. But no one joined in. I was tempted, partly because I felt sorry for him--singing in the face of so much hostility--and also because I’m a sucker for actual human voices raised in song, as opposed to canned carols such as one hears in Doubleday (pa-rum-pa-pum-pum) and in Barnes & Noble (gloh-o-o-o-o-oh-o-o-o-o-oh-o-o-o-o-oh-ria). But I was sitting next to a man rigid with pain and fury at having his subway meditations interrupted, and I felt sorry for him, too. Especially when the young man finished singing and began to preach, reminding us that we were all God’s creatures on the N train and that for each of us He had a plan. God’s creature next to me was probably thinking that he didn’t take the subway to fall in with God’s plan--he took the subway to get to Fifty-ninth and Lexington.

(“The Talk of the Town” in The New Yorker, Dec. 26, 1988.)

So go out and light yourself on fire! What have you got to lose?

Stand True's Response to the Election of Barrack Obama

On my side bar, you'll find "Stand True: Christ-Centered Pro-life". I highly recommend this website for information and encouragement in standing in defense of the innocent. After the election, Bryan Kemper wrote this encouragement to keep our focus where it should be. He gave me permission to post it here:

Last night was probably emotionally draining for many people as they saw one of the most rabidly pro-abortion candidates ever get elected as the next president of the United States. Some are even saying that the pro-life movement was set back at least 30 years last night.

Last night I watched the acceptance speech of Barrack Obama. I watched as Jesse Jackson and Oprah Winfrey were trying to hold back the tears of joy and hope. I listened to interviews with pastors and civil rights leaders and my heart broke as they talked about Obama like he was the Messiah. I understand that this is a monumental event in the history of our nation. I also understand that our hope lies in no man.

While some people were ecstatic last night, others were in deep mourning, feeling utterly defeated. It almost seemed as if they thought John McCain and Sarah Palin were our only hope. I can't tell you how many times I heard people trying to convince me that Barrack Obama is the “Anti-Christ”, as they prayed for John McCain to save us from his takeover of the world.

As the results came in last night, the political landscape of this country was changed. Men and women will be either taking new positions of power or stepping down from positions they once held. Laws and policies will change, and we will have to adjust to this new direction our world in heading into.

One thing, however, did not change last night. One position of power was not affected in the least bit. While we will have a new President in the White House, the Throne of God remains sovereign. Our one and only true Hope is still our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

Two things I heard last night were “change is coming” and “yes we can”. Change is coming, and I am not going to cower or back down in the face of this change. Change is coming, and the battle for the sanctity of human life will be tougher; my resolve to win this battle is stronger.

If change is what they want, then we shall give them change. We will destroy and deny the apathetic spirit that has had a hold on this generation for too long. We will raise our voices louder than ever before until we see the end of this abortion holocaust. We will share the only true Hope for this world without shame or fear. We will not chant “yes we can” but rather “yes we will”. We will believe what God promises us in Philippians 4:13 - “I can do all things through Him who strengthens me”.

I have often said I do not know why God has chosen me to lead this ministry. I am humbled and honored to be able to serve God in this manner. I know that I have a responsibility to stand up in the darkest times and trust in the Light of Christ to lead us to victory.

I stand before you today and pledge to you that I will not be defeated by this election. I refuse to allow any earthly setbacks discourage or slow me down in this fight for life. I promise you that I will never lie down or quit; I will stand true until my last breath.

Will you stand with me?

For Christ I stand,

Bryan Kemper bryankemper@standtrue.com

Evansvillians, I love them!

Some of the most striking people come from Evansville.

At Planned Parenthood today, I called a woman to come talk to me. She turned to me, and acted like she wanted to come, but asked, if we would hurt her. Haha. That is so precious! She has heard, either from the popular culture, or the media, or the escorts at Planned Parenthood that we are dangerous.

We told her that we are not there to do harm, but to help... we love her. She came over, we asked what if she was there for an appointment. She had apparently already taken her friend in to the appointment, and had gone away for a while and was just coming back. We told her whatever we could, and offered help to her and her friend. I gave her my phone number, but she said she's not from around here. She had a cell phone, and I asked her if it was AT&T. It was. I told her it is a free call, then, because, I am AT&T too!

As she was walking away, I asked where she is from...Evansville. I meet the nicest people from Evansville at Planned Parenthood.

If you live in Evansville, would you find out when they do their pre-abortion examinations? These people need to hear the truth before I see them in Bloomington!

Please, go to your local Planned Parenthood, and declair the Truth to those who need to hear it.

These women come to the well at Planned Parenthood, and they do not find the living water, but rather poison for themselves, their babies, and for their souls. Take water there and give them to drink.

Ha en god reise, Glen!

Thursday evening my husband and I went to the corner of Kirkwood avenue and Indiana to reach out to the IU campus community on behalf of the unborn, as servents of Christ.

I always start out with simply offering a brochure and asking if I can give them some information. I have decided, though, that being vague is a huge waste of time, if I can be ignored, then conversations will not happen.

I almost right away started asking for responses from people about the issue of abortion or human beings at their most helpless stage of development, and so on. Few people were able to pass that corner without either despising me further, or thinking about the issue at some level.

Most people on that corner are common. Same same same. Glen began to think that it may have been unwise of us to send our daughters off to college, just so they could begin to think they know everything, like the people we met there.

Three things happened that night to impress themselves on my heart:

1. A swarm of conference attendees hit us in two waves. Of probably 50 or so people, not a single one took a pamphlet, and few even took the trouble to acknowledge my presense. They were so full of the knowledge that they had packed in that day, that they could not entertain even a smidgeon more.
   
2. A young man refused my brochure, saying something about being pro-choice. He was
   
   half way across the street when I said that on that basis we have something to talk about, and I started telling him about unborn children and so on. Instead of going obliviously along his way, he stood on the other side of the street and listened to me. He thought about what I said, and responded or pondered, depending on what the point was. He was in the middle of a ponderence when I came across the street and engaged him in an extended conversation about the issue.
   



3. When I finished, I came back to find Glen in a conversation with two guys (what do you call those guys who wear mostly black, are covered with tatoos, and have metal studs in various parts of their faces?) He finished talking to them and invited them to church. I hope they come.

I love God. I love Glen. I was glad they were both there with me. I hope that we see some of those people at church tomorrow.

One more thing: Glen is on his way to Norway! A lady from Norway was so delighted to see the Americans standing on the corner exercising their rights, that she took his picture and is going to show all her friends in Norway!

Ha en god reise, Glen!

She Touched my Heart

Thursday, a young woman parked in the back row of the parking lot at Planned Parenthood, and approached the entrance. She was alone, and it was past the time when most arrive for abortions. I asked her if she was here for an appointment, no. I asked her what she was there for. She shrugged her shoulders and threw up her hands, and said she just was looking for some information. I invited her to come talk to me, and she came. She seemed shocked when I told her that they were aborting children there.

"Isn't that creepy?" she asked me later.

Yah, it is.

Here's another thing that, although I would not call it creepy, it is definitely out of the ordinary: You, young lady, are standing in the middle of a parking lot in Bloomington, talking to an older woman, who is holding a Bible open, about some of the most personal things in your life; things you haven't told any one else. This, was truly an honor. Thank you.

I think she was uninformed, and simply hadn’t thought this through. If this is the case, she was in a very vulnerable position. She was looking for information, and she knew, like we know to breath when our bodies need oxygen, that Planned Parenthood had the information she needed. As it turned out, she thinks she might be pregnant, and everything else, it seems is unstable.

Thank God! Thank Him for bringing her to me to talk to her. Thank Him! for the times I have spoken His words to people who wouldn't listen so that I would be ready for this appointment! Thank Him! for the turmoil in her life that may be used by God for her salvation! Thank Him! for CPC, and pray for them in their work.

I gave her phone numbers (mine, CPC’s, and CGS’s) and directions to CPC. Please pray for her, and her boyfriend. Pray that she will come to church, and that God's people will love her, and her baby. Pray for her parents also.

God is gracious and good, and very powerful! He is able to do more than we could ask or imagine!

Pre-Abortion Appointments

I have to say that, although I was again weak this Monday at Planned Parenthood, cowering in my car, I am renewed in my resolve that pre-abortion appointments need a godly witness. We need to be there on the sidewalk to talk to people. We need to meet them at the time of revealing. It is then that seeds may be planted. It is then that the ground is furrowed, and when no other seeds are sown but those of deception. It is then that the seeds of love, conviction, truth have soil to grow in.

I was reconvicted of this great need here in Bloomington, but I also discovered something that I had not considered.

Do you live in a city where there is a Planned Parenthood? Not every Planned Parenthood does abortions. Some do not. The one in Evansville does not, and that is where the man and his girlfriend in my previous post went for their pregnancy test, and referral. No one had told him about another option. He saw only obsticles. Would they have chosen differently, if someone had been there with another message? ...another choice? ...an offer of help, a hug? I don't know.

I do know that some people don't go to Planned Parenthood on the killing days, because it is too radical, too "militant" (it's not, really), too hopeless.

Some, who do go on the killing days do not go on the testing days, because the level of urgency is lower, maybe. I am not sure, but I think that is why I cower in my car, shamefully.

I would like to encourage you, whether you are the former or the latter, go. Based on the white harvest fields, go. Based on the call of Jesus to go to those in need, go. There is great need. Go.

He's Got the Power!

God is amazing! He is amazing in all He does, He is right in all He says, He is just in all His judgements! God holds the hearts of men in His hand, and directs them like a river to go here or there.

Thurdsay, May 8: I am sorry that I am finishing this post a week later. By now, much has sloshed out of my brain.

A black man came out of Planned Parenthood to smoke a cigarette. We had been there a while, and thoughts of leaving were on my mind. I had asked God to show us His glory, and He had. Here we were, in Bloomington saying things that no one wanted to hear. This is God's glory. He uses the foolish things of this world to confound the wise. He uses our weakness to show His strength perfect. We were weak fools, and we had confidence in God.

This black man was smoking his cigarette, and I motioned for him to come over. Here we were, the weirdos (everyone knows that we are weirdos, freaks) calling him to come to us, in the rain. He came over. Why did he come over?

He came over and stood, smoking his cigarette under my umbrella. I asked him why he was there. He shrugged his shoulders. He knew why we were there, didn't he? I asked him if he had gotten someone pregnant. He looked me in the eye and said, "Well, ya know, shit happens." I agreed. I told him the facts about unborn children and abortion. He said, "If we didn't do this, would you take the baby?"

At some point, I gave him one of my brochures.

I have to tell the truth. I can't take the baby. Glen and I have already talked about this. I also know, personally, several couples who would, and others who might. I also know, for a fact, that, given the opportunity, our church would support that woman through her pregnancy.

I told him the truth. Shelly asked him if he would go get her, if it's not too late. He started to give my brochure back to me, and said, "It's too late." I pushed the brochure back into his hand and told him of the pain she will feel later. I told him that she's going to be sad, and she won't understand, and he won't know how to help her. I showed him my phone number, and told him to have her call me. I told him that we want to help, that we love her.

He looked at me and his eyes melted. I knew that was how the woman at the well looked at Jesus. I think that God was glorified in our presense.

From there, the man confessed his sins to us. We told him about Jesus, and that he needs to read his Bible, and get married, and find a church family. We told him that the best we can do in this world on our own, is our lousy best. "Shit happens" alright. Jesus is our only hope.

Jesus is the answer to this man's pitiful attempt to improve himself. Jesus is the answer to his girlfriend's need for a man's approval. Jesus is the answer to my loveless heart. Jesus is our only hope, and our greatest fear!

God, I pray for Ray. I pray that he will be broken. I pray that you would grant him godly sorrow, and that you will give him a new heart!

Thursday's Obedience

For some time, I stayed away from Planned Parenthood.

Physically, for a short time, various things prevented me from standing for truth and in defense of the helpless, and calling for justice. After that, I was hesitant to go. I felt out of place. I felt helpless, speechless, meaningless.

When I started going again, I kept myself silent. I didn't love the babies enough to call for mercy. I didn't love the women, the escorts, the guards, the manager of Planned Parenthood, the staff enough to warn them of the danger to their souls. I didn't love God enough to proclaim His just judgements; His great mercy and magnificent salvation; His truth. I found myself confused by the friendly conversations between guards, staff, and protesters. I found myself jealous (this is ugly) of those who could speak, sing, and read Scripture there; of those who seemed to belong there.

1 I said, "I will watch my ways

and keep my tongue
from sin;

I will put a muzzle
on my mouth

as long as the
wicked are in my presence."
2 But when
I was silent and still,

not even saying
anything good,

my anguish

increased.
3 My heart grew hot within
me,

and as I meditated,
the fire burned;

then I spoke with
my tongue:
4 "Show me, O LORD, my
life's end

and the number of
my days;

let me know how
fleeting is my life.
5 You have made
my days a mere handbreadth;

the span of my
years is as nothing before you.

Each man's life is
but a breath. Selah
6 Man is a
mere phantom as he goes to and fro:

He bustles about,
but only in vain;

he heaps up wealth,
not knowing who will get it.
7
"But now, Lord, what do I look
for?

My hope is in you.
8 Save me from all my
transgressions;

do not make me the
scorn of fools.
9 I was silent; I
would not open my mouth,

for you are the one
who has done this.
10 Remove your
scourge from me;

I am overcome by
the blow of your hand.
11 You rebuke
and discipline men for their
sin;

you consume their
wealth like a moth—

each man is but a
breath. Selah
12 "Hear my prayer,
O LORD,

listen to my cry
for help;

be not deaf to my
weeping.

For I dwell with
you as an alien,

a stranger, as all
my fathers were.
13 Look away from
me, that I may rejoice again

before I depart and
am no more."

Psalm 39

Yesterday, God returned to me. It may be that I needed to sort out the pearls, the swine, the way of the wicked, love for my enemies, and hatred for those who hate God. Yesterday, God removed the restraint on my tongue, and gave me words to speak and desire to speak them.

Last night, alone, Glen and I, without a sign, no camara, no one else with us, went to the IU campus and passed out about 80 black and white flyers. I looked for the girl (Peobe?) whom I met last month on campus, and who was going to email me her sources to back up her statement that child abuse rates have decreased since abortion has been legalized. I did not see her. (sigh) I hope that as she is packing up to go home for the summer, she runs across my email address and remembers her promise to email me.

I asked God to be glorified in our presence. I asked God to increase our faith.

I did talk to a young woman, Jaymie, for quite some time. She would not personally get an abortion, but is pro-choice. She was not going to take my flyer, but I asked her to read it, and think deeply about it again. So she checked it out to see what organization I am with, and was repulsed to find that I am with the Church of the Good Shepherd. So we talked about her experience with this church, which lead to talk about God, and truth, and women and men, and the Holy Spirit's role of guiding us in truth, and much more. I hugged her and asked her to call me. I hope she does.

She brought up this post from my pastor's blog. She knows the young man who posed the question. It is an excellent question, and well worth thinking deeply about.

I'm glad I had a talk with Jaymie, and I hope that God will compell her to think deeply of these things that we talked about, and that He will graciously draw her to Him. But if He hardens her heart, He will be just in doing so.

Jaymie, turn to God, while He is near.

Kindling Polycarp Incandescence

I first posted this in January of 2006. I had snatched it, though, from From the BaylyBlog. I just love this story; everything about it. I think of it often as I burn. It is an example of one setting himself on fire for Jesus:

...where will you take tidings of comfort and joy this (year)?


Christmas, 1988, N Train

A young woman we know writes: It was the gilt-edged pages that gave him away. Most people who read the Bible on the subway have a small pocket edition and keep it to themselves. This young man looked as if he had come away with the family King James. Otherwise, he was ordinary-looking; gray jacket, plaid scarf, blue jeans, white sneakers, bristly brown hair; a gold wedding band. He waited until the N train had pulled out of the Queensboro Plaza station and was under the East River, and then he read aloud, "In those days a decree went out from Caesar Augustus…" A groan went out from my fellow-passengers.

Talk about a captive audience. The train was too crowded for people to switch cars. And New Yorkers will put up with all sorts of things rather than give up their seats on the subway. I couldn’t help thinking that the young man was lucky there were no maniacs aboard and no piles of stones at hand. But no matter how you feel about being force-fed the gospel under the East River it holds up better than the Times or the Post or the subway ads for Dr. Zizmor, dermatologist. Anyway, no one moved. No one said, "Oh, shut up." No one wanted to be identified as an irreligious loner at Christmastime.

I found myself criticizing the young man’s intonation. He had a good strong voice, but the words rocked up and back unvaryingly: "…to be enrolled with Mary, his betrothed, who was with child." When he was done, and the shepherds had rejoiced, he changed--thank goodness--his rhythm. He started singing "Joy to the World." He sang two full verses of it, again in a good, strong voice. But no one joined in. I was tempted, partly because I felt sorry for him--singing in the face of so much hostility--and also because I’m a sucker for actual human voices raised in song, as opposed to canned carols such as one hears in Doubleday (pa-rum-pa-pum-pum) and in Barnes & Noble (gloh-o-o-o-o-oh-o-o-o-o-oh-o-o-o-o-oh-ria). But I was sitting next to a man rigid with pain and fury at having his subway meditations interrupted, and I felt sorry for him, too. Especially when the young man finished singing and began to preach, reminding us that we were all God’s creatures on the N train and that for each of us He had a plan. God’s creature next to me was probably thinking that he didn’t take the subway to fall in with God’s plan--he took the subway to get to Fifty-ninth and Lexington.

(“The Talk of the Town” in The New Yorker, Dec. 26, 1988.)

Job Hunting

You may know that I have been talking to the African American woman who works at Planned Parenthood. I sincerely feel for her. When I started talking to her, she expressed the need to pay her bills. She subsequently defended her position there as helping people.

I want you to pray with me this week. I told her yesterday that I would meet her at Wendy's at 5:15 and we could sit and talk and have supper together. We could look for a job together. She was not there. I went in and looked for her, and then (being frightened, really) I waited another ten minutes in my van outside with the doors locked.

I did drive past Planned Parenthood when I left to confirm that she wasn't still at work... She wasn't. She probably has to get home and fix supper.

Next week, I want to be ready with some job offers. Pray with me, and ask me if I have been looking, and if you hear of anything, tell me. I am serious about this. I don't know if she is a nurse or a nurse's aid or what, but I would like to love her with a job. She will not come to me for a meal or help in finding a job. She probably thinks I am a cloud without rain.

13 Do not be surprised, brethren, if the world hates you.

14 We know that we have passed out of death into life, because we love the brethren. He who does not love abides in death.

15 Everyone who hates his brother is a murderer; and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him.

16 We know love by this, that He laid down His life for us; and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren.

17 But whoever has the world's goods, and sees his brother in need and closes his heart against him, how does the love of God abide in him?

18 Little children, let us not love with word or with tongue, but in deed and truth.

19 We will know by this that we are of the truth, and will assure our heart before Him

20 in whatever our heart condemns us; for God is greater than our heart and knows all things.

21 Beloved, if our heart does not condemn us, we have confidence before God;

22 and whatever we ask we receive from Him, because we keep His commandments and do the things that are pleasing in His sight.

23 This is His commandment, that we believe in the name of His Son Jesus Christ, and love one another, just as He commanded us.

24 The one who keeps His commandments abides in Him, and He in him We know by this that He abides in us, by the Spirit whom He has given us.

I John 3:13-24

I'm Just a Little Black Rain Cloud

(fast foward to the 4 minute mark if you wish)

11Woe to them! They have taken the way of Cain; they have rushed for profit into Balaam's error; they have been destroyed in Korah's rebellion.
12These men are blemishes at your love feasts, eating with you without the slightest qualm—shepherds who feed only themselves. They are clouds without rain, blown along by the wind; autumn trees, without fruit and uprooted—twice dead. 13They are wild waves of the sea, foaming up their shame; wandering stars, for whom blackest darkness has been reserved forever. (Jude)

How much of a cloud without rain I am! How often have I chanted with the rest, "Be bold, don't be ashamed of the Gospel!"

More than once, fully aware that I have been guilty of no more than skirting the subject of God; hinting that He is the source of help in times of trouble; I have been brushed aside like an annoying fly...an opportunity lost without actually offering an offense!

These are not lost opportunities of strangers passing on the street or acquaintances sharing air in the office.



I just am very ashamed of myself for missing this:

27 What I tell you in the dark, speak in the daylight; what is whispered in your ear, proclaim from the roofs. 28 Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell. (Matt.10:27&28)

Love for and Distractions of the Enemy

The Enemy

19 If only you would slay the wicked, O God!
Away from me, you bloodthirsty men!

20 They speak of you with evil intent;
your adversaries misuse your name.

21 Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD,
and abhor those who rise up against you?

22 I have nothing but hatred for them;
I count them my enemies.

23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.

24 See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting. (Psalm 139:19-24)

There is a woman who works at Planned Parenthood, who used to get a ride to work. She arrives after I get there, and for months I kind of disregarded her. One day, I realized that I never talked to her. Why? Maybe because she is black.Am I a racist? I never thought so, but there is a blonde white woman working there, who leaves after the black woman arrives, and I call her to account; so I can only think that I let this woman slide because she is black. Of course it may have been because she got a ride to work, and I could imagine the conversations around the dinner table about me that night (racism or fear of man: which is the greater sin?) I repented of this silence to God and to her, and began to talk to her each time she arrived.

A month or so ago, she got her own vehicle. It's a van. Soon after she got it, she started parking it across the alley. This means she has to cross my path to get to work. I have noticed that she does this even when there are plenty of parking places at Planned Parenthood. Just yesterday, I realized how delightful this is, and that it must be because God directs her in this. If God puts her in my path, who am I to keep silent?

I have talked to her about sin, guilt, innocent blood. I have talked to her about income and jobs, and responsibilities.

43 "You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' 44 But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. 46 If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? 47 And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? 48 Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect. (Matthew 5:43-48)

Yesterday, I told her that I would like to sit down with her and help her find a bloodless job. She turned around and faced me, and shouted at me to not harass her when she comes to work. I told her that I want to help her, and that a woman with her skills and compassion ought to have a job where she can help people and not help to kill people.

She spent more time there with me than was necessary. I totally expected the guard or escorts to surround her, but they left her out in the open and vulnerable. It seemed like a very long time, and afterward, I was shaken.

11 This is the message you heard from the beginning: We should love one another. 12 Do not be like Cain, who belonged to the evil one and murdered his brother. And why did he murder him? Because his own actions were evil and his brother's were righteous. 13 Do not be surprised, my brothers, if the world hates you. 14 We know that we have passed from death to life, because we love our brothers. Anyone who does not love remains in death. 15 Anyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life in him.

16 This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. 17 If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? 18 Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. 19 This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence 20 whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything.

21 Dear friends, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God 22 and receive from him anything we ask, because we obey his commands and do what pleases him. 23 And this is his command: to believe in the name of his Son, Jesus Christ, and to love one another as he commanded us. 24 Those who obey his commands live in him, and he in them. And this is how we know that he lives in us: We know it by the Spirit he gave us. (I John 3:11-24; emphasis added)

What have I done? I have been thinking about this ever since! Even after a war protester came and diverted our attention from the imminent death of helpless children, who cannot hide, fight back or even cry out, to the war in Iraq, where thousands of humans, made in God's image have died in the past years of the war.

(Can we compare the two? Four thousand children yesterday in America alone compared to how many thousands of men, women and children over the past 6 years. Besides, why must it be assumed that just because a person does not want to kill unborn children, that they are blood-thirsty war mongers? This was a distraction, but I did not know how to diffuse it. I regret my behaviour.)

The black woman who works at Planned Parenthood is an enemy of God. Therefore, according to Psalm 139, she is my enemy as well. How did Jesus command me to treat my enemy? With love. What did I John say about love? It is more than words, but action and truth. I hope that she will take me up on the offer. I hope to sit down with her over coffee or a bowl of chili, and search with her for a job... and share the gospel with her.

Look Around

Yesterday, I while I was at Planned Parenthood, a young Asian woman was moving out of the apartment above the used furniture store across the street. Actually she was talking on her cell phone while standing on the side walk as her mother lugged the bed frame down the stairs by herself. She got cut off as her mother stopped for breath and waited for the young woman to put her phone away and help. In exasperation, she redialed, speaking sharply to her mother for expecting help. The mother's face got deeper red in the over 90 degree heat as dragged a mattress down the narrow stairs and leaned it against the building alone.

As I watched this, I was reminded about the commentary on the Stand True website regarding the Everyday ProLife Life (Go to the Stand True Website, Click on Commentaries, then click on Everyday Pro Life in the first column). Am I Pro-life just just because I contend for the life of the unborn? I don't think so. I contend for the life of the unborn because I am a Christian.

I struggled with standing across the street or going over and helping. Finally, I put my stuff back in the van and crossed the street. As I approached the older woman, without even breaking up her cell phone conversation, the younger woman placed herself between me and the mother and asked how she can help me.

I told her that the woman looked like she was moving and needed help. She said, "No, I'm moving, she's fine." After trying to convince her of my good intentions, and her insisting that I am not needed, I went back across the street.

I thought she would be motivated to help then, but she continued to talk and the mother continued to work alone and aggravated. Then an young Asian man came alone from the south and the young woman ran to meet him. They all gathered at the entrance to the apartment and talked. Then the young couple began to walk toward Second Street quickly. The older woman gathered three bottles of water and tried to follow, but they were too far along. She called to them, but they kept going. When they got to the parking lot at Kroger, they got in a car and drove away.

The old woman was left with two mattresses and a bed frame that she was unable to load into a van by herself, and three bottles of water. I don't know if there was more furniture upstairs that was still to come down.

When I left to go back to work, she was still there, alone.

This was so poignant.

1. Why does it take me so long to act? Why did I give up so easily? Why didn't I go help after the young woman was gone?
2. How did that young woman become so incredibly selfish? Did her parents inadvertently teach her selfishness?
3. I am speechless with questions! How? Why? How...?

For the Love of God!

Why do I write about these things? Just so I don't forget:

Today was a very interactive day at Planned Parenthood. Intense conversations.

A couple of women left Planned Parenthood and headed down the alley toward Walnut on foot. I greeted them and asked if I could give them some information. I was too far away to casually intersect their path, so they would either have to stop, or I would have to run if there was to be eye to eye. One continued on. One stopped. She took my paper, looked at it, folded it up and put it in her pocket while asking me if I had ever adopted a baby. I haven't, but...she scoffed. There you go..we have free choice. I asked her if she thought that wasn't a baby. She said that she knew it was a baby. I asked her if she thought then, that the woman's perogative superceeded the helpless one's right to live. She said that we have free choice, and I have never adopted a baby.

Later, when they returned and were talking to the guard and escort, I called to her that there are no unwanted children. (there are truely people who want these children) She came right over to me (all the time telling me that I am casting judgement on these people and don't know their struggles) and stood and talked to me about poverty, down-trodden women and babies who have nothing. She said that she and her mother were there, in poverty, have I ever been? I told her that I am ready to help, and others like me. I asked her if she knew of any who need help now? She said no. I offered her my phone number so she could call me when she found one who needed help. As she walked away, she said that she will be too busy helping them herself.

I told her that is why I am here. .. to help those who are helpless, and dying. (This is where I went and cried in my husband's arms while he prayed for me. God gives strength.)

A man and woman arrived and got out of their car. As I approached, he raised his hand and said that they were not here to kill a baby today. (peace, peace) When they came back out, I asked if they were there for an appointment, or just to check out the place (this cut off the joke about liking babies fried). I gave the man a flyer as we talked, and the woman said that it was really none of my business and that I will leave her alone. She looked sad, and as she waited for her man to unlock her door from the inside, I noticed her brown paper bag and paperwork. I probably gave them the wrong flyer. They needed information about the morning after pill.

Right after I told the guard and escort that I hoped that God would grant them a guilty conscience, to hear the cries of their helpless victems, repentance and faith, I gave an escort a flyer. I told her I hadn't seen her there for a while and offered to buy her a cup of coffee (I've been listening to John Piper sermons on the subject...how do you love a woman at the well?). I offered her my phone number. She refused, saying that she would just see me here (Lord willing).

Another woman with van with a Florida license plate took my flyer, told me she would read it, and that she would leave it with them (Planned Parenthood). She was older (although probably younger than me) and she was with a youngish looking man; nineteen or twenty. I did not see the woman she presumably brought for an abortion (she made a noncommitally affirmative gesture when I asked if that was what she was there for).

Another couple came out, ignoring me, and started to leave with their windows rolled tightly up. I held out a flyer in a lame attempt to communicate with them, knowing that they would just drive by. They stopped, though, rolled down their windows, and took my flyer.

Why do I write about these things? I wonder if I write them because I think I'm cool, fast on my feet, or clever. I wonder if I write them to get some sort of positive feedback from my friends. Sometimes I am a most rediculous woman.

As I am writing, I see what I did, and re-hear what I said, and it makes me sick to my stomach. What a poor excuse for a watchman. What a rediculous woman!

What a Glorious God!
Why did the one woman stop and the other go on?
Why is it that she now has our flyer in her pocket?
Why did that woman from Florida go out of her way to take my flyer, make eye contact with me and exchange words?
Why did she threaten to give it to the people in Planned Parenthood, and probably carry through with that?
Why, then, did J Lewis, the manager, come out? He seldom comes out, and only when he feels like things are intense, I think.
Why on earth would that couple, safely encased in their car, stop, hold up the car behind them, open their window, and take my flyer?

 1 The king's heart is in the hand of the LORD;
       he directs it like a watercourse wherever he pleases.

 2 All a man's ways seem right to him,
       but the LORD weighs the heart.

 3 To do what is right and just
       is more acceptable to the LORD than sacrifice.

 4 Haughty eyes and a proud heart,
       the lamp of the wicked, are sin! (Proverbs 21)

 9 In his heart a man plans his course,
       but the LORD determines his steps. (Proverbs 16)