God, the Father to the fatherless, is able to do abundantly more than we could ask or imagine!

Yesterday, at Planned Parenthood, God was pleased to save a little baby, and bring his father face to face with his sin, his past, his future, and his responsibility.

The man came there, not sure if this was his child, and therefore unwilling to protect it. God put him in the position of father to this fatherless child.

Unwilling to speak a word of defense for this child, God convinced him to give the child a chance, and yes, the ultrasound revealed to him, that God indeed made him this child's father. The family walked away: mother, father, and this little woman's fourth child.

Alive, and together; thank God, they have a long row to hoe.

They know they don't have to go through it alone.

Belated Birthday

Some time ago, I turned fifty. I'm fine with that. I look back over the last fifty years, and I see so many ways that God has blessed me when He was justified to curse me; preserved me when He was justified to destroy me; comforted me when He was justified to condemn me. Beside, all the people my age are turning fifty now!

I have gotten many birthday cards over the years, but I was most delighted with a couple that I got from Lydia this year. She made them herself, and here they are:




















This one was such a delight to me, and told me so much! I says, "Mom! You're always there when I need you..." When I opened the card, I saw illustrated many things I have told Lydia repeated, because I thought she didn't hear me.

The inside caption, "and when I don't need you!" tells me that she heard me. She heard me say these superficial tidbits that she included in this card, and she heard also other things.

This card, said one of those things, that this mother needed to hear. Yes, I needed to hear this. Thanks, Lydia.



















Father, I thank you for the blessing of daughters. I thank you for your mercy. Thank you that you remember not the sins of my youth. Thank you for making me a happy mother of children. Thank you for being Strength in my weakness. Thank you that you are sufficient to redeem the years that the locusts have eaten. Thank you, Father, thank you.

I am still here. God help me.

On March 9, we watched a show on Mtv about some young people who had left the Amish community. It's part of Mtv's "True Life" series. This one was called "I'm Ex Amish." I don't know how to find links to it, or upload significant snippets, so I will try to express what impressed me about this show.

I don't know a lot about the Amish, and I don't promote lifestyle as faith. I think they have a lot of things wrong, but most of us do. If, however, they are counting on the purity of their lives to commend them to God, then they are fatally wrong.

One of the young people featured on this show was a young woman, who ran away from home when she was fifteen. She ended up in New York, and loved living there. She expressed a constant yearning, however, to have peace with her father. Finally, she contacted her family, and her father agreed to meet. With an Mtv crew in tow, she headed out to her family's home for a visit. She was scared and excited.

When she was nearly there, she called her Dad. She explained to us that her family had since "moved to a more liberal church" and now had a phone. She was pleasantly surprised that her Dad was so friendly and welcoming on the phone.

When she arrived at a normal-looking home, with modern conveniences, her regular-looking sister in a regular-looking dress greeted her excitedly. Her mother hugged on her, and her Dad smiled nervously. He wanted to talk to her alone.

The Mtv crew hung out on the deck and listened in as the Father pleaded with his daughter regarding Jesus, Scripture and Truth. She stormed out, claiming that he didn't respect her. She drove home venting that she hates it when he comes at her with the Bible.

This is heroic. I was impressed. The Dad was not pleading for the Amish, or for the lifestyle, or for the family or for customes or traditions. He was pleading in the name of Jesus for his daughter's life right in front of Mtv and everybody.

What fear of God this is. What a putting-off of the fear of Man! This is loving the Lord first, which causes us to love our children, our spouses, our bretheren, and sinners.

While I was out of the room, they "agreed to disagree" and she was welcome to visit, and willing to do so.

Then her grandmother died. She was asked to come to the funeral, and her father bought her an airplane ticket to come: one way.

She was infuriated that he disrespected her by not making the ticket round trip. She refused to come to the funeral, and they haven't spoken since.

Did the Dad reject the daughter? No.

The daughter rejected the Dad at each point and finally (up to this point). She actually desires the Dad, but the Dad is Christ's servant, and she will not have that.

She knows where to find him, and she knows that she will find him with his Bible, and his Saviour.

Teach me kindness, Lord, regarding customs and preferences, and a forehead of flint regarding truth and devotion to You.

May they always know where to find me: right here with my Bible and my Saviour!

JAMES SAMUEL KINNEY, Millington

JAMES SAMUEL KINNEY passed from our world peacefully and entered God’s Kingdom Sunday afternoon, June 14, 2009 at his residence with family and friends, at the age of 86. James Samuel Kinney was born in Watertown Twp. on Feb. 25, 1923 and was the son of the late Chester and Mary (Seddon) Kinney. Jim had been a Millington area resident his entire life. He was a graduate of Mayville High School. After high school Jim served our country during WW II in the U.S. Navy Upon his returning home from his tour with the Navy after the war Jim married Viola Burns, and together they have celebrated 62 years. Jim was a tool and die maker for companies of Frankenmuth Engineering, Wicks Tool & Die in Saginaw, retiring from the company known as Godman Tool, based in Milford, CT. Jim and Viola raised 10 children, of which he was very proud of all of them. Jim leaves to cherish his memory, wife Viola; children, David and Dianne Kinney, Tim and Carolyn Kinney, Dan Kinney, Debbie and Vern Wilkinson, Tom Kinney, Libbie Knauer, Peter and Darlene Kinney, Ben Kinney, Rachel and Glen Pierson and Hannah Henderson; 16 grandchildren, David and Michelle Kinney Jr., Darren and Patty Kinney, Brian and Sherrie Kinney, James and Lonie Gornick, Stephanie and Randy Riley, Patrick Kinney, Jason Kinney, Monica and Mike O’Keefe, Heather Knauer, Sarah and Shawn Phelps, Grace Henderson, Holly Pierson, Lydia Pierson, Sam Henderson, Phillip Kinney, Matthew Kinney; 15 great-grandchildren, Travis Kinney, Megan E. Kinney, Megan A. Kinney, Rebecca Kinney, Jayden Kinney, Shane Kinney, Avery Kinney, Sydney Peterson, Brent Riley, Payton Riley, Krysta Riley, Natalie Riley, Lauren Riley, Colton Kinney, Aiden Phelps and Quenton Phelps; sister and brother-in-law, Esther and Ran McDonel; brother and sister-in-law, Chester and Betty Kinney Jr., as well as several nieces, nephews and extended family and friends.

Besides his parents, Jim was also preceded in death by an infant daughter, Dinah Ruth Kinney; two sisters, Iris Burns and Joan Sherman; two brothers, Andrew and Paul Kinney and two brothers-in-law, George Burns and Mar Sherman.

The Kinney family will receive friends at Hanlin Funeral Home in Millington on Wednesday, June 17 from noon-8 p.m. Funeral service will be held at Millington United Methodist Church on Thursday, June 18 at 11 a.m. Burial will follow in Millington Township Cemetery in Millington. Pastor Pete Crawford will deliver the funeral message and the committal prayers at the cemetery. Military honors will conclude the cemetery service under the direction of the Conrad-Wager & Keene American Legion Post 164. Memorials may be made to the family or to a charity of one’s choice.

You may leave a personal condolence or share a memory online at hanlinfuneralhome.com. Hanlin Funeral Home has been assisting the Kinney family with the arrangements.

The James S. Kinney Family

Dad grew up in the Chester Kinney Sr. family. Here they are, from left to right beginning in the back: Aunt Esther Nell, Dad, Uncle Chester, Uncle Paul, (front) Aunt Iris, Gramma Kinney, Grampa Kinney, Aunt JoAnne. My Mom said he was the best of the lot...

...so he married her. Mom said that she married him because he knew his Bible, he didn't cuss, and he was a good man. I think she was also head over heals. He was a good man. He was a James 1:19-21 kind of man.

James and Viola Kinney had children...a bunch of them. Here we are in, probably 1966 or '67 judging by the teeth I am missing, and that the two eldest sons are gone. Dave is probably off to war, and Tim to college.

From left to right; back row: Tom (#5), Deb (#4), Dan (#3), Lib (#6)
From left to right; front row: Ben (#8), Rae (#9), Mom, Dad, Pete (#7)
On Dad's lap: Hannah (#10)

Years of events, world and personal kept the entire family from meeting up again until 1978 when we all got together to celebrate MY high school graduation (jk). I think there was a gathering when Dave and Dan came home from the war, but I don't have a picture. Here we are in the coolest decade. I will not name them all, except to point out are the ones missing from the previous photo: Dave (#1) is second from the left, and Tim (#2) is second from the right. The one on Dad's lap this time was his most recent grandson, and namesake, Jimmy. Three other grandsons are pictured, and I suspect there were two pregnant daughter-in-laws! Also of significance, Harry Burns, my mother's father is seated front and center.


In 1985, Mom and Dad's youngest living daughter got married. Three of us are missing, but look how the grandchildren are growing in size and in number!


This is two years ago, in July 2007. This is my family.

1 Unless the LORD builds the house,
its builders labor in vain.
Unless the LORD watches over the city,
the watchmen stand guard in vain.
2 In vain you rise early
and stay up late,
toiling for food to eat—
for he grants sleep to those he loves.

3 Sons are a heritage from the LORD,
children a reward from him.

4 Like arrows in the hands of a warrior
are sons born in one's youth.

5 Blessed is the man
whose quiver is full of them.
They will not be put to shame
when they contend with their enemies in the gate.

(Psalm 127)

Let's Never Find Out

A wife of noble character who can find?

I have recently, again, received the above graphic forwarded to me by email. (click on the picture for easier reading)

In the following weeks, I will commit to examining each point from the biblical perspective.

Make no mistake, I was raised in a feminist America. Feminism is the air we breathe. It is very much like trying to think like a tree to see things in another way. However, just because I am a woman of unclean lips, and everyone around me also has unclean lips, doesn't make unclean lips alright. This is not like wearing a kilt in Iowa, or jeans in the Buckingham Palace. These are things that have far-reaching, and commonly denied effects.

The funny thing is how simple little steps to make the home a pleasant place to gather have become, not only a lost art, but a laughing stock. The main reason is that we are a culture that teaches us to live for ourselves, for the most part. Even philanthropy is based on what's in it for me (WIFM) with tax breaks and incentives.

Some of the suggestions in this 1955 advice can simply be tossed, but we should not have thrown out the baby with the bath water. Reading these, makes my natural self, cry out, "Why?" or "But what about me?"

Mere nostalgia is not a hill I will die on, but this is really more than nostalgia. There are lessons to be learned from what we learned in '60s and '70s. "You've come a long way, baby!" Can we even see where it has gotten us? Women do not hold the place of honor that we used to. We have given up sacrificing ourselves for our children in order to grow old alone. We have given up serving our husbands, in order to raise our children without the strength of the father.

We have become all we need, to become all we have.

We have come a long way, baby!

Birth Control

Marriage, Singleness, and Birth control: Hot Topics.

I read today something that I hope to always remember. Pyromaniacs started a series entitled "Hello Out There." In it, the author intends to speak culturally to cultural people about important things, leaving behind the shibboleths of Christianity. I think this is a good idea. I think that I myself have nothing to say to the world, my neighbors, others. God does, though, and I keep hearing people say that you have to give it to them in their own language. You have to be relevant. So, I'm glad the Pyros have started this. I am looking forward to learning how to be as wise as serpants, and as gentle as doves.

In the first installment, on truth, the author says:

The Christian agrees with his non-Christian neighbors on one point: no mere mortal has the authority to create and impose truth on another. It is the Christian position that we are all finite: "we are but of yesterday and know nothing, for our days on earth are a shadow" (Job 8:9). Even the smartest man is limited in his grasp of the facts. Further, none of us has the infinite perspective necessary to assign the right meaning to those facts we do possess. We are bound into our own context, and lack a transcendent vantage point.

I think it is also important to remember to keep the content scriptural. How do you find that balance? I don't know, but I will try. I'm not sure that it is a balance so much because, how can you possibly balance anything with Scripture. When men try, Scripture gets diluted. On the other hand, I get in trouble, and err, when I think I am God's interpreter, His lawyer, His partner, His beautician, His public relations coordinator.

Church of the Good Shepherd had a very compelling sermon called Fruit of the Spirit (2/26/06). The springboard for this sermon was Galatians 5:22-26. While the sermon was excellent, I question the premise (although, God may use children to grow the fruit of the spirit in His children). If I were discussing godly seed, the blessing of children, or full quivers, I would not use Galatians 5 to back me up.

Pastor Bayly, however, used an unexpected springboard for this sermon, quite possibly for the very purpose of calling us from our selfishness, greed, fear and pride. I will also approach this discussion from probably an unexpected direction to shine God's light, I hope, on other ways that we may fail, calling God's discipline on us.

HONOR YOUR FATHER AND MOTHER This may seem a little backward, but bear with me for a moment, and I'll see if I can't get to a point.

I grew up in a family of ten children. As a child, my plan was also to have as many children. When my eldest brother stopped having children after two, I promised my Mom that I would have 18. My parents were jars of clay. They did their best, and that was a mighty fine job.

When I was thirteen, my Mom was expecting her eleventh child. My oldest brother, who was thirteen when I was born, had a son. The pregnancy was, I'm sure, not an easy one for my forty-six year old mother, but she bore this burden joyfully, even while defending the child's very existance. She sewed diapers, burp cloths, nighties and quilts. She was glowing.

My little red-headed sister, Dinah Ruth, did not live more than thirteen hours out of the womb. She was born too early, and her lungs were not ready. Her death was a greater burden to my mother than her life had been. Her smile and joy were packed away with the unused nighties and the unsoiled diapers.

The next few years were very dark, and to my shame, I was not a help to my mother in her pain, or a comfort in her time of sorrow. Instead I distanced myself from her need. The odd thing is that distance tends to create callouses, where as closeness creates softness in hearts. Here is where I began to despise my mother.

For many years, I continued in this sin, and God did not strike me down. I began to see all of my mother's faults, and to disagree with her lifestyle. I remember telling people as an adult that I thought my mother should have stopped having children after four, because the world would have been a sadder place without my oldest sister. So I despised the goodness of God, and loved the things of the world.

As an adult the concept of birth control was not even an issue. Yes, you control births. Relationships, education, career, and self esteem were my highest goals. My first marriage was to a barren man, and I cried myself to sleep at the thought of never having children, but I did not still recognize my sin, or repent of it.

After that one failed, I married a man (Glen) who had two children already, and he longed to have children with a wife (me) together. So we "decided" to have children, and did have two of them. (Praise be to God for His inexpressible mercy to us, opening my undeserving and rebelious womb, and granting us children to teach us our sin.) Then the decision was made for me not to have any more.

Is this command to honor your father and mother tied up in the blessings of God? I think so. God has used His birth control, to discipline me, and convict me of this sin, and teach me His way.

I have worn myself out with this first point, and cannot complete the next two points, but leave them here to feed our thoughts. I am happy to engage in this discussion personally or by blog or email.

SERVE THE LORD YOUR GOD WITH ALL YOUR STRENGTH, ALL YOUR HEART AND ALL YOUR MIND

Serve the Lord now. I see and experience so much discontentment with where we are, always hoping for the next blessing. I want to be married. I want to have children. I want to have more room for hospitality. I want to serve the Lord in Africa. I want to do this, I want to have that.

We need to be looking daily, and asking daily for the tasks and relationships that God has for us today, while it is today. We need to be faithful in the small things.

RECEIVE WITH JOY FROM YOUR FATHER'S HAND

Would you receive "good" only from the Father's hand and not evil too?

Three Point Underdogs

The Marching Mustangs were three points short of going to State Competition this year.

Seemed like this year three points dogged us. Three points lost on a technicality... Three points behind Such-a-burg... Three tenths ahead of So-and-so-ville.


But we could dwell on the negative, or we could just take a deep breath and say that this was an exciting Marching band season, and that the kids went through a batch of growing over the last several months.








This year the upper classmen stepped up in a way that is unprecidented in the last 5 years of Edgewood Band. This year Seniors and Juniors were expected to, and did take responsibility that was previously discouraged for them. They failed at times, but they made the attempt.

This year's Edgewood marching Mustangs had spirit and intensity right up to the very end of their season. They worked harder than they have in a while and loved band better than they have in a while.







Low Brass friends...


sharing spit and sweat and poney tails...





More Later...

Marching Mustangs in Regional Competition

I am so caught up in this. I might consider this trip to Jeffersonville High School as just another competition, but it is not. It is the end of an exciting season, or the climax of it.

When I get back, I will post the results and, hopefully, pictures (in color).

I will also write about some things that I need to write about:

There is Hope (thank you Erica)
Children
Response from Bloomington City Councilman
A Good Wife

See you on the other side of ISSMA Regional Competition!

Throwin it Down!

Here is my daughter Lydia and her peeps. It's in black and white because Mom doesn't know how to use Lydia's camera. (...or because it's twice as cool in black and white!) This was at Ben Davis last week. It was the first time this year I saw the show from the stands while they were wearing uniforms. Kinda cool. I will put in more pics later (I hope).

Sappy

Well, I promised to get sappy, and then I neglected to do it.

I packed a couple of boxes of tissues for Holly when we took her to Purdue, because I thought I would cry, a lot. I didn't cry at all. I have a great deal of peace about this.

When we got there early, the students who were moving Freshmen in were fresh and ready to go. We checked in and then went to the dock. Within 3 minutes, the van was empty, Holly was accompanying her stuff to her room, and we were on our way to find a parking place. By the time we parked, Holly was coming to meet us. We took her bike to the bike registration station and then locked it up and went to check out her room.

The loft was delivered, but short of the "installation" we had expected. Thank God for Dads! Bathroom break! Well, when they made this a women's hall, it just seems like they would have exchanged those urinals for toilets! blah blah, we purchased her ethernet connection, and found that the connection was on the other side of the room. Thank goodness for that huge roll of duct tape that Glen bought Holly for a going away present! Blah blah blah, we met her roommate and her family. blah blah blah, then we went to WalMart to get some more power strips and extra plugs and stuff. Tried to get her settled in as much as possible, but left some for her do as she had time.

It was a very busy day, and I did not feel sufficient for the task. It has been a long process coming to this point of separation. It has been a task for which I have not been sufficient. There are many ways that I have failed, spiritually, physically and emotionally as a mother and wife, and servant of God. I trust that in my weakness, His strength is manifested perfectly. I trust that seeds sown in faith may find fertile ground according to His good pleasure, and to His glory.

I entrust my daughter to His loving care, knowing that He teaches sinners in His way (Psalm 25) just like He does me.

From the creation of the earth, she was in His plan. From the day she was born, her soul was in His hands, and although He let me hold her, I was powerless in shaping her destiny.

Who knows where the Lord will take her? Only He who sees the beginning from the end; only He who looks on the heart; only He who works all things together for good for the one who loves the Lord, for the one who is called according to His purpose.

Do I worry about my "little girl?" Yeah, a little. I know her too well not to worry some. I also know her too well to worry too much. She has her head on straight, and I am thankful for that. It's a great big world out there, and she's been itching to get out in it; but greater is He that is in me, than he that is in the world.

I'm not scared for her. I am excited for her, because I know in Whose hands she is.

We're Baa-aack!

Ok, we are back. Just some thoughts:


1: Well, I'm not any smarter...I still can't put a picture on my blog.

2: Things are not always the way it would seem...I expected Chicago students to be pompous and unapproachable. Instead they were as we passed them on their way to classes, kind of geeky-looking. It's true though that every one of them that we asked had no idea where the admissions office was. They must forget after they get there. They do know where to get pizza, though.
Kenyon students, however, did not look geeky. If I were to classify them, I would say they were more preppy in appearance. I did not get a chance to talk to any, but my husband did, and that student told him that he was just telling his parents the night before how much he liked it there.

3: Sometimes what you don't say is revealing...or is it? At Chicago, the academic life was emphasized. We heard such things as "Chicago; where fun goes to die." "If you aren't really interested in learning, and like to avoid studying, you'll be unhappy here." "Nobody is going to give you a hard time if you say, 'Well, I have to go study.' Instead they'll probably say, 'Yah, me too.'" "Yah, well, that's what we're here for."
At Kenyon on the other hand, academic life was not brought up on the tour until I asked what kind of semesters, quarters, or trimesters they are on. Instead we heard about their theater presentations, their new athletic facility, their meal times and stuff. We did get to see an actual freshman dorm, which I was glad to see.

4: Kenyon admissions was much more friendly and accommodating. When I called to set this up, they set my daughter up to sit in on a class, set us up for the tour and an informal interview. Things were tightly scheduled, so when the student guide left, thinking he had no charges to lead around the campus, the admissions lady arranged for my daughter to interview early with an admissions counselor instead of a senior, so we could take the next tour and hit the road at a reasonable time.
Chicago on the other hand gave out no more information on the phone than was necessary (that for which I specifically asked). I was told to go to their web page to find a class to sit in on and arrive a few minutes early to get the prof's OK to audit the class. Their website was baffling and I'm sure a second semester freshman or first semester sophomore is finally able to manuever without guidance or error. (Of course maybe there are parental controls.) Being unable to break through the controls, I called and asked for assistance. They told me that they could help me out when I got there.

5: Chicago has the second largest private police force in the country and have worked very hard the last 30 years to be very safe. Although a student would not be wise to walk around campus at 3:00 am alone, if he needed a ride, he could call security and get a ride home; no charge, no questions. The campus police can be there in less than 60 seconds if you push one of the many security buttons around campus. We did not test them. STUDENTS FEEL VERY SAFE THERE.
At Kenyon, the tour guide told us several times that this or that building is open 24/7 but she never mentioned security, so I asked if a student would fee safe walking home from one of these buildings at 3:00 am. She said that she doesn't think they have a crime rate, actually. STUDENTS FEEL VERY SAFE THERE.

6: God is God and the world is His footstool. There is no place where you can go that He will not be there. Chicago is in the middle of a city. Chicago loves Chicago and vice versa. On top of that, Chicago is in love with itself. There is a chapel (beautiful) on campus that is used by any religious group for any type of service to worship any god. However, with all this going on, God can be there. It's actually sort of a mini world, albeit kind of smart.
Kenyon on the other hand, reminded me of something left to itself and fermenting in its own juices. I did not feel as good about this school coming out as going in. This surprised me. The people were nice, the grounds were beautiful, and it seems like it is a nice isolated place to send your daughter for four years, but I don't know...

So here we are, still trusting God and asking for His guidance and providence. I want Him to block paths that He does not want us to travel, but is this being lazy? I don't know, but I do want Him to make things clear to me.

Lead me Lord
Lead me in Thy righteousness
Make Thy way plain before my face.

Onward to the Adventure!

Our family is going off on an adventure tomorrow afternoon. We are on a quest for the future, nestled safely in the arms of the One who holds the future.

We will be visiting the University of Chicago and Kenyon College, with a weekend to travel.

My hope is for clear guidance...and a faith-building experience...and opportunities to be a wonderful Mom--I mean ...well you know, to be the distributor of Godly wisdom, and gentle words, that encourage and edify all who hear...Yah.

How about...I want the place where God would have my daughter go to school to just feel right. Just to confirm the direction, it would be nice to have them offer her a full scholarship...OK.

Oh, and...On the trip, I would like to have discussions--intense discussions about the future, about God, about right and wrong. I want the peace of God in Christ Jesus to reign in my heart.

(by the way, isn't this new wireless keyboard da bomb? Maybe, hopefully it wasn't a virus afterall, but just a hardware problem)

Just keep us in your prayers and my the Holy Spirit take our prayers to the Father and ask for that which we know not...isn't that exiting!

I hope to learn how to do pictures when I get back! Got to pack now. Good night and God bless.

The Lord bless you and keep you, the Lord make His face to shine upon you and give you peace.

2005 Lessons

Here's what I've learned in 2005. Some of these things I have learned before.

1) God is good.

2) Every Man is depraved. (Ladies, this means us too) This unpacks itself in "new" ways each day. Just look around...no, just inquire within!

3) How to die to myself. This is one that must be relearned often, because I grew up in the 70's and we are very selfish. Well, it might be because I was born of Adam, and we tend to be very selfish; but those of us born of Adam and raised in the 70's were not taught to inhibit our tendencies as were other generations and Southerners. Also each time God gives me to put others first, it feels different, so it has not become routine; I can still justify seeking my own way in my depraved heart (see #2).

4) I cannot save anyone. I knew that, but each new realization feels freshly learned.

5) The foxes have holes, but the Son of Man has no where to lay his head. So what am I doing in my comfort zone? I have learned to take little baby steps out of my comfort zone, and trying not to look back at others who remained, lest my feet slip, and I fall. I still cling to many security blankets, but they are rubbish and I seek to set them ablaze!

6) Just because I can say something, doesn't mean I should. I think this has to do with #3, but more to do with taming the tongue and guarding my heart...no, I think all that flows from the abundance of the heart, which is deceiptful above all things and desparately wicked and filled with pride and seeks itself. (As you can see, I have a lot to learn.)

7) I haven't learned how to serve others selflessly, but I have learned that that is what I should seek.

8) I haven't learned not to fear man, but I have learned to hate that fear, and to recognize and re-proportion it. I nearly had a heart attack one day when I struggled within myself about inviting someone to Christmas service at church. I failed, and when they walked away, I started breathing again and my heart started pumping again. God is so merciful and patient with me; a heart attack would have been appropriate.

9) I have learned that a religion that does not touch every aspect of your life is as useless as a necklace. If it doesn't change the way I think about absolutely everything, and the way I behave, and the way I treat others, then it might as well be a television show that I can turn on or off. Therefore, I have become less afraid of politics. Previously, political discussions were frightening to me because they were based on social and economic issues and rhetoric and dogma. These things felt like shakey ground. This year I learned about not answering a fool according to his folly. If my religion, my God is anything, then He will shape my response to this world and its issues. Politicians, everyone of them, have agendas and each issue needs to be, separately, sifted through God's Word. I have always resisted clinging to labels like Conservative, Liberal, Republican, Democrat. Now I have a firm foundation to stand on, because I can place this aspect of life in these United States on that Foundation as well.

10) It aint no big deal to set yourself on fire, and why would you for anyone but for Jesus. To set yourself on fire is to make a fool, a spectical of yourself, even to your own demise. But you see, to fear appearing the fool is to fear man more than God (Matthew 10:27-29).* To fear your own demise as a result of serving Christ is to go into hell whole (Matthew 5:29-30).** Recently someone told me about Jim Elliott. I haven't read his story, but I intend to. I was told that when he and his group were going back into the hostile tribe in the jungle, they were faced with the decision of whether to take guns with them for their protection. They decided not to, leaving them on the ship (it was a plane). The reason? They were ready to face eternity, and the people they were going to were not. Wow...isn't that what Jesus was talking about when he said, "For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it. What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul?" (Matthew 16:25-26) Casper Ten Boom, when offered immediate release from the Nazis told them that if they released him, he would immediately go out and find someone who needed to be saved, and save them from the death camps. He was ablaze, and not hiding it under a bushel, either.

What have you learned in 2005?

*27 What I tell you in the dark, speak in the daylight; what is whispered in your ear, proclaim from the roofs. 28 Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell. 29 Are not two sparrows sold for a penny[a]? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. (Matthew 10:27-29)

**29 If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30 And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell. (Matthew 5:29-30)