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Saturday, September 24, 2005

Something's Missing!

This is a post that has no edificational or sanctimonious alue at all. There is something missing and I just, for fun wanted to go ahead and post a post without compensating for it. Can you guess what is missing?

I am ery surprized that I use this letter so much. I didn't think I did. It is one of those letters that you just take for granted until it "goes missing." Howeer, now that I am actually talking specifically about it, I find that I am not missing it whatsoeer!

We had a spill on our keyboard and now, it is eident that one of the keys has passed on and will not be reied. We can use that charactor by inserting a pen or pencil tip into the place where the key used to be, but I'm tired of that, so I say, to heck with the , full speed ahead!

Of course it will neer be the same, talking about blessed topics such as salation, the proidence of God, the soereignty of God, and Jesus being "ery God of ery God."

This does hae its upside, though. We can just do away with such things as family alues, Dener, olcanoes; and words such as ilification and ociferous.

We may need a new ersion of the Bible, howeer. We could, maybe call it the NI. Some passages may sound somewhat different:

You are my King and my God, who decrees ictories for Jacob. Through you we push back our enemies; through your name we trample our foes. I do not trust in my bow, my sword does not bring me ictory; but you gie us ictory oer our enemies, you put our adersaries to shame. In God we make our boast all day long, and we will praise your name foreer. (Psalm 44:4-8)

Some may not be effected at all in the NI:

You know my folly, O God; my guilt is not hidden from you. May those who hope in you not be disgraced because of me, O Lord, the Lord Almighty; may those who seek you not be put to shame because of me, O God of Israel. (Psalm 69:5-6)

Seek God with your whole heart.

God has blessed Glen with a friend who happens to hae too many keyboards! So he gae Glen a keyboard. Thanks be to God for his bountiful gifts! I confess here my ingratitude and I pray for a grateful heart.

Monday, September 19, 2005

I want to love like that!

Why? It could be that the poor woman craves love and thinks it will
come by giving herself away. Or possibly she hates herself, feels
worthless, and expects to be used. Maybe she was inducted into this life
because of the sexual abuse she suffered as a child or as a young woman.
Maybe she ended up here because of alcohol, drugs or poverty. There can be
a dozen different reasons, but all of them are wrong and my heart aches for
her. I want to take her in my arms, call her beloved, tell her she
is precious to God and that this is not what God intends for her, that this is
not how a woman finds fulfillment.

The Truth about Sex
Kay Arthur
Chapter 5; Pg. 93

One time, I was watching TV and there was a show on about Marde Gras. They showed a blurred scene of a couple of girls lifting their tops to expose themselves for onlookers and the camara. I became indignant and left the room. While stewing about it, I realized that those girls are not to be hated, like I was doing, but pitied. They thought that was what they had to offer; how they would get approval.

I would want to have this depth of insight more and more. I am sorry for the hatred I nurtured in my heart for the young women, and their audience. This is something I will need to pray for. It is not something that would come naturally to me.

I would naturally be in one of two camps. I would either be under the deception of Mardi Gras (which I once was), or the hate-filled-righteously-indignant-on-looker (which I am).

God has changed my heart and taught me to understand the deception, and to hate the sin of the strange woman of Proverbs and the simple-minded man who follows after her.

Now, I think He is teaching me to love the sinner as He loved me while I did my laps in the wilderness. Why is this so hard?

I spoke the other day so accusingly of the flag-girls in the high school band. The moves they are taught are seductive, and the outfits they wear are revealing. My husband brought me up short, pointing out my malignant grumbling.

Who, though, could I take in my arms and call beloved? Whom could I tell that this was not God's best for them? Their flag coach? Their mothers? Each of the girls, themselves?

How could I do that when my natural inclination is to hold them at arms length with my finger pointing accusingly at them? And, by the way, why is that? I was there once, and Jesus took me in His arms and told me that this is not what He wants for me.

It is Phariseism. I don't know how to love like Jesus did, but I want to.

Recently, God is continually bringing people across my path and revealing my judgement to me: A Mae West-like woman, flagrantly dressed, and I see the need in her eyes. A presumably gay young man, who has resolved himself to be the comic relief, whose eyes catch mine as I resist the urge to chuckle, because I see the sin and the bondage there.

5 guide me in your truth and teach me,
for you are God my Savior,
and my hope is in you all day long.
6 Remember, O LORD, your great mercy and love,
for they are from of old.
7 Remember not the sins of my youth
and my rebellious ways;
according to your love remember me,
for you are good, O LORD.
8 Good and upright is the LORD;
therefore he instructs sinners in his ways.
9 He guides the humble in what is right
and teaches them his way.
10 All the ways of the LORD are loving and faithful
for those who keep the demands of his covenant.
11 For the sake of your name, O LORD,
forgive my iniquity, though it is great.
12 Who, then, is the man that fears the LORD ?
He will instruct him in the way chosen for him.
Psalm 25:5-12 (New International Version)

Lead me, Lord
Lead me in Thy righteousness
Make Thy way plain
Before my face.

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

What Do You Feel Passionately About?

( P ) Pronunciation
A powerful emotion, such as love, joy, hatred, or anger.
Ardent love.
Strong sexual desire; lust.
The object of such love or desire.
Boundless enthusiasm: His skills as a player don't quite match his passion for the game.
The object of such enthusiasm: Soccer is her passion.
An abandoned display of emotion, especially of anger: He's
been known to fly into a passion without warning.
The sufferings of Jesus in the period following the Last Supper and including the Crucifixion, as related in the New Testament.
A narrative, musical setting, or pictorial representation of Jesus's sufferings.
Archaic. Martyrdom.
Archaic. Passivity.

( P ) Pronunciation
Capable of, having, or dominated by powerful
emotions: a family of passionate personalities.
Wrathful by temperament; choleric.
Marked by strong sexual desire; amorous or lustful.
Showing or expressing strong emotion; ardent: a passionate speech against injustice.
Arising from or marked by passion: a teacher who is passionate about her subject.

What do you feel passionately about?

Now that's a good question for a little lite banter. Possibly on the surface, or if you are someone other than me. My husband is a very passionate man. He will passionately discuss politics, sports, fact, I think he could passionately discuss anything! I on the other hand am more guarded. Am I guarding my passion or the possibility that I have none? Am I afraid of getting my passion popped?

We will be beginning a new Women's Bible Study very soon. I was previewing the material and the very first question for discussion is: What do you feel passionately about?

In the context of Nehemiah, the desired response is obvious, and I tend to feel guilty on the one hand because at times my zeal for the Lord's will, His people, His name, and His holiness may be waning. On the other hand, if my zeal is at its zenith, I will feel quite self-righteous, sanctified and holy while composing my thoughts to answer...and then I have to face it: My zeal is never that lofty.

If you have read my previous posts about "The Mighty Hand of God..." or "Oh Wretched Man that I am..." you might realize my predicament. It is two-fold:

In the Mighty Hand post, I stated that if I am trusting God with my trials, casting my cares upon Him, then I am not worried or troubled, but at peace. How can you be passionate, which, according to the definition is all bound up with emotion, if you are at peace with it? When I am not trusting God with them, then I am worried, but I feel more passionate.

In the Wretched Man post, I exposed a darker side of myself. I did not bring everything to light, but just a portion. My wretched man struggles not only with the tongue, but with wrath. I have grown up with the ever present stereo type of the redhead. Part of the definition of passion is the aspect of wrath. Scriptures regarding wrath and malice and fretting pop up and tell me that this part of passion is a sin.

So on the one hand, I would tend toward passion's sin and allow anger to rule and worry to flourish. On the other hand, I might appear to be passionless by not worrying or exploding or seething.

I would say that I am passionate about my kids, step-kids, grand-daughter, parents and in-laws. I would dearly love to see them knowing and loving God; trusting Him. I have learned (see The Mighty Hand of God...) to trust God with their souls and to speak to God and to them as God gives me words and opportunity (see Evangelism... and Ezekiel's Warning...). Even as I state this I tremble that I might become complacent or seem not to care.

I am passionate about my sin. I do hate it. I love to hide it from others. I want desparately to be free of it.

I am passionate about God's truth and salvation. I hate to see it mingled with trivial side issues. I hate to see it distorted, hated, mocked, discarded, disregarded, and painted. (Then, when I go this way, I go a little too far, and I hate that I, alone handle God's truth properly!) I hate to see it hidden, especially by me.

I am passionate about my lethargy. I despise my inactivity. I loath my cowardliness. I am sickened by my lack of zeal in my private prayers and my public presence. Can it be that I am passionate about my lack of passion or about the lack of active passion?

Is passion, like love, an action and not a feeling?