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Friday, August 31, 2007


I had a perfect U-tube video to embed in the last post. It would actually be better to post separately because I would be able to comment on the difference between being part of a flock, and being someone's puppet.

I don't understand it. Everyone else can put videos on their blogs, but I can't... Boo-hoo-hoo!

Puppet on a String

Yesterday I had a conversation with a young woman who goes to a church which we used to belong to. This is a person who grieved me several weeks ago when I saw her go into Planned Parenthood, but I didn't get to talk to her that day.

(This is one of those things that happen that
you hesitate to tell people
because they will think you're fruity:
I would never have remembered her name,
but I asked God,
and it popped out of my mouth
even as it appeared in my mind.
I was amazed when she responded.
Agh! This frightens me.)

Yesterday, when I arrived, there was a strapping young man waiting by the door. I was told that he brought a short heavy woman in. Funny what we assume. As she was coming out, I called her name. I asked her to come to me, and she did.

(This always amazes me when people come to me.
I often hesitate to ask them to, because it doesn't seem like they would.
Would you?
God clearly holds the hearts of men, kings, young women, and girls in
His Mighty Hand!
They make their plans, and
He directs their steps.)

So, I ask her what she is doing here. To my GREAT surprise, she said, "Don't worry, I am volunteering here." (!!) She is counseling. What sort of counseling do you suppose they do at Planned Parenthood? Don't worry, though, because she also volunteers at the CPC just-down-the-street. Oh, and she told her Mom that she saw me there, a couple of weeks ago. (Peace, peace)

I asked her if she could, while counseling, tell someone that abortion is wrong, that it is killing a child. She said she couldn't say that this "procedure" was wrong, but that she could (wink wink) guide them toward other options. (Peace, peace)

I almost fell for that one. Then she came in with the left jab: (Just when I was wondering if she had stopped going to church) Don't worry, she did talk to Pastor about it. He said it's OK. She said that he said it's better than being "one of those people who stand outside." People just think they are morons, you know. It's more effective, you know. (You Fool!)

Oh, and she's a Nanny, and a Doula (not officially certified --sh-sh). And I really should come back to church, because they're just about to build their new auditorium, and so and so (would you believe it!) are getting married, and so and so are having their third baby and she's just glowing. And everything is so wonderful (bright smile). Oh, and the little baby, in my arms is so cute, he looks just like So and So's youngest one. (peace, peace)

I wanted to ask her to stop flinging crap in my face. Alternately I wanted to fall on my knees and beg her to come to her senses. I gave her another hug and sent her on her way...she really had to get going.

What was it her t-shirt said? "I have visited Motherhood"? Who was that tall strapping young man towering over her. Her "friend" wore a t-shirt with too much writing stretched across his muscular chest for me to have time to read. He also wore a crucifix. He had an appointment, or we might still be there talking. She drove away with him slumped in the passenger seat.

What's in a Name - Meme

Kim at Hinds Feet tagged me for the name game. At first I was thrilled. My Mom and Dad had eleven children. My youngest sister died shortly after birth. My parents gave each child a good Biblical name, and really quite good middle names. I have always been impressed with them. I really should sit down with them and ask them where each one came from and what they were thinking in choosing names:

David Lee
Timothy Ray
Daniel Wade
Deborah Kay
Thomas Keith
Elizabeth Faye
Peter James
Benjamin Scott
Rachel Lee
Hannah Lori
Dinah Ruth

I think I have blown my chance at this conversation, though, because my Mom still thinks I'm mad at her for giving me a hand-me-down middle name. If you're reading this, Mom, I'm really really over it.

Not bad for a woman whose parents gave most of brothers middle initials instead of middle names. My parents' names:

Viola Mae and James Samuel

We had a nap mat for kindergarten that was used by each sibling in succession. My Mom sewed each of our names on the mat. It was pretty neat. Each of us had Mrs. Lockwood for kindergarten, until Hannah's turn came. The school put her in the other teacher's room. My Mom tried to buck the system, but the system won. I hope that God worked that all out for the good of my sister and my Mom.

Now, on to the game:

1. You have to post these rules before you give the facts.
2. Players, you must list one fact that is somehow relevant to your life for each letter of your middle name. If you don’t have a middle name, use the middle name you would have liked to have had.
3. When you are tagged you need to write your own blog-post containing your own middle name game facts.
4. At the end of your blog-post, you need to choose one person for each letter of your middle name to tag. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

Lee: There are only three letters and two of them are duplicates. This can't be that hard. I'm never any good at self contemplation, though and I tend to be too harsh. I asked for more objective help from family and got things like "Luscious" and "Egregious."

I went then to the online thesaurus, and found words like:

L: Loathsome, Lackluster, Languid and Lumpy

E: Enervative, Exigent
(and for some more enticingly exciting "E" words)

E: Exasperating, Echoic

I'm no good at this game. I'm not going to tag anyone. I had some interesting people in mind, but I'd rather they don't come here and read this.

There will be no puffing.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

The War on the Unborn

One day a war protester stopped by at Planned Parenthood and tried to start something.

I dug right in. I probably failed to communicate eloquently. She mentioned 8,000 people dying in Irag in the past year. I told her that 4,000 Americans died of abortion yesterday.

After that things just escalated into a yelling tyrade. I vaguely heard Glen tell me to be quiet, and I shamefully found my bulldog teeth sunk in too far to let go. She asked why we are here; why do we care about these unwanted babies; why don't we care about the innocent Iraqi civilians who are dying in an unjust war?

Too many words and too much volume.

What I would really love to do is to get really close to this woman, with forearms touching, look her in the eye and communicate the difference between that Iraqi civilian man, woman or child who is dying of the war, however unjust or unwarranted; and the 10 or 20 unborn children who were dying on College avenue that very day as we spoke, and those who will die tomorrow.

The difference is that the man could run or defend himself. The woman could plead for her life or hide. The child could scream or cry out for help. The baby in his mother's arms, or abandoned in the corner of an alley, could cry pitifully. Maybe none of these things would save their lives, for long; but maybe death would be delayed, or mercy realized.

The children dying on College Avenue in Bloomington Indiana can do none of those things.

Friday, August 17, 2007

On the Road Again

Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?

Glen and Holly are on the road today. They are actually probably by now in Lafayette. Holly is starting her second year at Purdue and is moving in today.

Maybe that is why I am feeling melancholy today. I feel an empty place. I feel left out. I feel powerless to help Glen, and to strengthen Holly.

I have Lydia. She will be picking me up soon, and then she has to go to the first football game of the season, wearing the new uniforms for the first time ever. I feel left out. I won't be there to see the first public performance of her senior year show with the band. I won't be there to encourage and critique. I am powerless.

I, though, will go to a discipleship conference with church. I am looking forward to it, but at the same time, I know that even if I know the tactics, I am powerless. I think that is what cast my soul down so yesterday; my powerlessness.

Instead, my powerlessness should be a source of delight, for in my weakness, God says, His strength is made perfect.

Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

I am afraid to say this:

This video is very telling. Who are we to be more "compassionate" than God? If we cannot believe God, then what are we doing there? Who are we to speak for God, if we don't know, or won't say what He says?

I post this with great trembling. I am afraid of it. I don't want to be harsh, or uncaring. I don't want to be arrogant. I want to be faithful to God.

We are of all men, most foolish and pitiable. That is obvious.

What would I say?

My opinion here does not matter. I defer to God.

What does God say?

5 And for your lifeblood I will surely demand an accounting. I will demand an accounting from every animal. And from each man, too, I will demand an accounting for the life of his fellow man.

6 "Whoever sheds the blood of man,
by man shall his blood be shed;
for in the image of God
has God made man.

7 As for you, be fruitful and increase in number; multiply on the earth and increase upon it."

(Genesis 9:5-7)


Psalm 42

1 For the director of music. A maskil of the Sons of Korah.

As the deer pants for streams of water,
so my soul pants for you, O God.

2 My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
When can I go and meet with God?

3 My tears have been my food
day and night,
while men say to me all day long,
"Where is your God?"

4 These things I remember
as I pour out my soul:
how I used to go with the multitude,
leading the procession to the house of God,
with shouts of joy and thanksgiving
among the festive throng.

5 Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and 6 my God.
My soul is downcast within me;
therefore I will remember you
from the land of the Jordan,
the heights of Hermon—from Mount Mizar.

7 Deep calls to deep
in the roar of your waterfalls;
all your waves and breakers
have swept over me.

8 By day the LORD directs his love,
at night his song is with me—
a prayer to the God of my life.

9 I say to God my Rock,
"Why have you forgotten me?
Why must I go about mourning,
oppressed by the enemy?"

10 My bones suffer mortal agony
as my foes taunt me,
saying to me all day long,
"Where is your God?"

11 Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.

Psalm 43

1 Vindicate me, O God,
and plead my cause against an ungodly nation;
rescue me from deceitful and wicked men.

2 You are God my stronghold.
Why have you rejected me?
Why must I go about mourning,
oppressed by the enemy?

3 Send forth your light and your truth,
let them guide me;
let them bring me to your holy mountain,
to the place where you dwell.

4 Then will I go to the altar of God,
to God, my joy and my delight.
I will praise you with the harp,
O God, my God.

5 Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.

Friday, August 10, 2007

Love for and Distractions of the Enemy

The Enemy

19 If only you would slay the wicked, O God!
Away from me, you bloodthirsty men!

20 They speak of you with evil intent;
your adversaries misuse your name.

21 Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD,
and abhor those who rise up against you?

22 I have nothing but hatred for them;
I count them my enemies.

23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.

24 See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting. (Psalm 139:19-24)

There is a woman who works at Planned Parenthood, who used to get a ride to work. She arrives after I get there, and for months I kind of disregarded her. One day, I realized that I never talked to her. Why? Maybe because she is black.Am I a racist? I never thought so, but there is a blonde white woman working there, who leaves after the black woman arrives, and I call her to account; so I can only think that I let this woman slide because she is black. Of course it may have been because she got a ride to work, and I could imagine the conversations around the dinner table about me that night (racism or fear of man: which is the greater sin?) I repented of this silence to God and to her, and began to talk to her each time she arrived.

A month or so ago, she got her own vehicle. It's a van.
Soon after she got it, she started parking it across the alley. This means she has to cross my path to get to work. I have noticed that she does this even when there are plenty of parking places at Planned Parenthood. Just yesterday, I realized how delightful this is, and that it must be because God directs her in this. If God puts her in my path, who am I to keep silent?

I have talked to her about sin, guilt, innocent blood. I have talked to her about income and jobs, and responsibilities.

43 "You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' 44 But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. 46 If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? 47 And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? 48 Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect. (Matthew 5:43-48)

Yesterday, I told her that I would like to sit down with her and help her find a bloodless job. She turned around and faced me, and shouted at me to not harass her when she comes to work. I told her that I want to help her, and that a woman with her skills and compassion ought to have a job where she can help people and not help to kill people.

She spent more time there with me than was necessary. I totally expected the guard or escorts to surround her, but they left her out in the open and vulnerable. It seemed like a very long time, and afterward, I was shaken.

11 This is the message you heard from the beginning: We should love one another. 12 Do not be like Cain, who belonged to the evil one and murdered his brother. And why did he murder him? Because his own actions were evil and his brother's were righteous. 13 Do not be surprised, my brothers, if the world hates you. 14 We know that we have passed from death to life, because we love our brothers. Anyone who does not love remains in death. 15 Anyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life in him.

16 This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. 17 If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? 18 Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. 19 This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence 20 whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything.

21 Dear friends, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God 22 and receive from him anything we ask, because we obey his commands and do what pleases him. 23 And this is his command: to believe in the name of his Son, Jesus Christ, and to love one another as he commanded us. 24 Those who obey his commands live in him, and he in them. And this is how we know that he lives in us: We know it by the Spirit he gave us. (I John 3:11-24; emphasis added)

What have I done? I have been thinking about this ever since! Even after a war protester came and diverted our attention from the imminent death of helpless children, who cannot hide, fight back or even cry out, to the war in Iraq, where thousands of humans, made in God's image have died in the past years of the war.

(Can we compare the two? Four thousand children yesterday in America alone compared to how many thousands of men, women and children over the past 6 years. Besides, why must it be assumed that just because a person does not want to kill unborn children, that they are blood-thirsty war mongers? This was a distraction, but I did not know how to diffuse it. I regret my behaviour.)

The black woman who works at Planned Parenthood is an enemy of God. Therefore, according to Psalm 139, she is my enemy as well. How did Jesus command me to treat my enemy? With love. What did I John say about love? It is more than words, but action and truth. I hope that she will take me up on the offer. I hope to sit down with her over coffee or a bowl of chili, and search with her for a job... and share the gospel with her.

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Look Around

Yesterday, I while I was at Planned Parenthood, a young Asian woman was moving out of the apartment above the used furniture store across the street. Actually she was talking on her cell phone while standing on the side walk as her mother lugged the bed frame down the stairs by herself. She got cut off as her mother stopped for breath and waited for the young woman to put her phone away and help. In exasperation, she redialed, speaking sharply to her mother for expecting help. The mother's face got deeper red in the over 90 degree heat as dragged a mattress down the narrow stairs and leaned it against the building alone.

As I watched this, I was reminded about the commentary on the Stand True website regarding the Everyday ProLife Life (Go to the Stand True Website, Click on Commentaries, then click on Everyday Pro Life in the first column). Am I Pro-life just just because I contend for the life of the unborn? I don't think so. I contend for the life of the unborn because I am a Christian.

I struggled with standing across the street or going over and helping. Finally, I put my stuff back in the van and crossed the street. As I approached the older woman, without even breaking up her cell phone conversation, the younger woman placed herself between me and the mother and asked how she can help me.

I told her that the woman looked like she was moving and needed help. She said, "No, I'm moving, she's fine." After trying to convince her of my good intentions, and her insisting that I am not needed, I went back across the street.

I thought she would be motivated to help then, but she continued to talk and the mother continued to work alone and aggravated. Then an young Asian man came alone from the south and the young woman ran to meet him. They all gathered at the entrance to the apartment and talked. Then the young couple began to walk toward Second Street quickly. The older woman gathered three bottles of water and tried to follow, but they were too far along. She called to them, but they kept going. When they got to the parking lot at Kroger, they got in a car and drove away.

The old woman was left with two mattresses and a bed frame that she was unable to load into a van by herself, and three bottles of water. I don't know if there was more furniture upstairs that was still to come down.

When I left to go back to work, she was still there, alone.

This was so poignant.

1. Why does it take me so long to act? Why did I give up so easily? Why didn't I go help after the young woman was gone?
2. How did that young woman become so incredibly selfish? Did her parents inadvertently teach her selfishness?
3. I am speechless with questions! How? Why? How...?

Friday, August 03, 2007

It's Personal

Pro-life: It's personal.

Christ Centered Pro-Life has posted a commentary about a comprehensive "Pr0-life" life. "Everyday Pro-life" is more than just defending the defenseless in the form of the unborn baby.

  • It is also uplifting the downtrodden; encouraging the hopeless; feeding the hungry.
  • It's Jesus at the well;
  • it's Jesus spitting in the mud;
  • it's Jesus drawing in the dirt;
  • it's Jesus feeding the five thousand;
  • it's Jesus delaying his journey to Lazarus' bedside in his illness;
  • it's Jesus weeping over Mary and Martha's loss;
  • it's Jesus loving the children of Jerusalem even as they rejected Him.
  • It is the unrelenting Stephen explaining from scripture God's plan of salvation as his accusers became more and more vehement.
  • It is Jim Elliott, flying into the jungle, unarmed because he was ready to die, but the natives were with out God and without hope in this world.
It is sometimes hard, and always surprising. It is surprising how, when my heart waxes cold, and begins to wander, something happens to make it personal.

Yesterday, I saw someone I knew... I am at a loss. Pray for me.

OK, I am entering a contest!

My dear friend Kim, has been going nuts on her blog this summer. She has been participating in a wild variety of contests, and seems to be having a good time, and having lots of visitors. While I have been tempted each time she has had a contest to join in, I have been too trepidatious to join in. Now the temptation is too great!

Go to 5 minutes for Moms and enter their TV Contest Giveaway! and make sure you thank Best Buy for making this available.

Believe it or not, this is what is being given away free:

The ultra slim, lightweight Insignia® 37″ Flat-Panel LCD HDTV (Model: NS-LCD37) features 1366×768 Resolution, with 16:9 widescreen ratio for cinema-quality viewing. You will be enjoying picture perfect quality from every angle and not missing any details with its built in high definition capabilities.

The TV measures 5″ deep and will look fantastic either in an entertainment center or mounted on a wall (with optional mounting kit, not included.)

Oops! Almost forgot to include instructions:
Here is how to enter:
  • First - leave a comment here at this post (NOT HERE AT RACHEL'S BLOG) by Friday, August 17th, 2007 at 12:00am Eastern (really Midnight on Thursday so don't miss the mark by thinking Friday). We will announce the winner Friday morning, August, 17th. Please only comment once - any duplicate entries will be deleted.
  • Second - on your blog, link to this contest so that your readers can have a chance to win too. You gotta let your readers know about this! And also please link to Best Buy to thank them for sponsoring this great contest. If you are not a blogger, no worries, you obviously can’t link. But please tell your friends about the contest. I am sure they will thank you!
  • This contest is open to both Canadian and US shipping addresses!!! YEAH!


Thursday, August 02, 2007

A Bridge Collapsed in Minnesota

I first heard about this on Albert Mohler's blog. I appreciated Mr. Mohler's sensitivity and focus during this disaster.

Pray with me for God's people in this tragedy. Pray for His church, that she will be a place of comfort, mercy, and refuge. Pray that souls will seek God's solace during this time, and that He will be glorified.

Go here for more details and pictures.

Psalm 57

For the director of music. To the tune of "Do Not Destroy." Of David. A miktam . When he had fled from Saul into the cave. [a]
1 Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy on me,
for in you my soul takes refuge.
I will take refuge in the shadow of your wings
until the disaster has passed.

2 I cry out to God Most High,
to God, who fulfills {his purpose} for me.

3 He sends from heaven and saves me,
rebuking those who hotly pursue me;
God sends his love and his faithfulness.

4 I am in the midst of lions;
I lie among ravenous beasts—
men whose teeth are spears and arrows,
whose tongues are sharp swords.

5 Be exalted, O God, above the heavens;
let your glory be over all the earth.

6 They spread a net for my feet—
I was bowed down in distress.
They dug a pit in my path—
but they have fallen into it themselves.

7 My heart is steadfast, O God,
my heart is steadfast;
I will sing and make music.

8 Awake, my soul!
Awake, harp and lyre!
I will awaken the dawn.

9 I will praise you, O Lord, among the nations;
I will sing of you among the peoples.

10 For great is your love, reaching to the heavens;
your faithfulness reaches to the skies.

11 Be exalted, O God, above the heavens;
let your glory be over all the earth.

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Great Picture!

Baby Robin Bobbing Along

Just click on the image to see where I got this great picture!

The turtle picture below came from here.


There was a letter to the editor in our paper a week or so ago. It was from a woman who passed a turtle on the road. She just knew that turtle wouldn't survive the onslaught of traffic, and went back to rescue the it. When she got there, she found a young man already moving the turtle off the road.

He told her that eight other people had stopped for the same purpose.

She thought this was wonderfully encouraging.

On my way back to work from Planned Parenthood yesterday, having finally talked to the two people that God brought to me, Lindsay and her man, I saw a young robin just near the curb on Second Street. Cars whizzed by it, one right after the other. It sat very still, with its beak pointed to the sky. It made me think about that turtle and its 10 rescuers. Then it made me think of how few people attempt to rescue the 10 or 20 babies who are killed every week at Planned Parenthood.

Lindsay was just there, she said to "purchase something." She seemed quite concerned that Planned Parenthood kills babies on Thursday. She looked at her stone-faced companion and then at me.