Friday, December 12, 2008
Thursday, December 11, 2008
A man at Planned Parenthood today went away for a while, and came back with a bundle of flowers. My heart sank. He opened his car door and put them in. Then he stood behind the fence and smoked a cigarette.
I just can't even express the churning thoughts and feelings that I have about that. Was it gratitude that prompted the purchase? Was he trying to make it up to her? Did he think this would placate her? Was he trying to be romantic?
From now on, flowers will mean something to her that he will obviously never understand.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Thank God for Thursday Holidays...Planned Parenthood is not killing Children today.
Thank God, for it is He who brings us trials that humble and strengthen us. Give glory to God!
So, check him out.
...in 91 words (including names, but not including numerals) (that's 100!)
Monday, November 17, 2008
Christmas, 1988, N Train
A young woman we know writes: It was the gilt-edged pages that gave him away. Most people who read the Bible on the subway have a small pocket edition and keep it to themselves. This young man looked as if he had come away with the family King James. Otherwise, he was ordinary-looking; gray jacket, plaid scarf, blue jeans, white sneakers, bristly brown hair; a gold wedding band. He waited until the N train had pulled out of the Queensboro Plaza station and was under the East River, and then he read aloud, "In those days a decree went out from Caesar Augustus…" A groan went out from my fellow-passengers.
Talk about a captive audience. The train was too crowded for people to switch cars. And New Yorkers will put up with all sorts of things rather than give up their seats on the subway. I couldn’t help thinking that the young man was lucky there were no maniacs aboard and no piles of stones at hand. But no matter how you feel about being force-fed the gospel under the East River it holds up better than the Times or the Post or the subway ads for Dr. Zizmor, dermatologist. Anyway, no one moved. No one said, "Oh, shut up." No one wanted to be identified as an irreligious loner at Christmastime.
I found myself criticizing the young man’s intonation. He had a good strong voice, but the words rocked up and back unvaryingly: "…to be enrolled with Mary, his betrothed, who was with child." When he was done, and the shepherds had rejoiced, he changed--thank goodness--his rhythm. He started singing "Joy to the World." He sang two full verses of it, again in a good, strong voice. But no one joined in. I was tempted, partly because I felt sorry for him--singing in the face of so much hostility--and also because I’m a sucker for actual human voices raised in song, as opposed to canned carols such as one hears in Doubleday (pa-rum-pa-pum-pum) and in Barnes & Noble (gloh-o-o-o-o-oh-o-o-o-o-oh-o-o-o-o-oh-ria). But I was sitting next to a man rigid with pain and fury at having his subway meditations interrupted, and I felt sorry for him, too. Especially when the young man finished singing and began to preach, reminding us that we were all God’s creatures on the N train and that for each of us He had a plan. God’s creature next to me was probably thinking that he didn’t take the subway to fall in with God’s plan--he took the subway to get to Fifty-ninth and Lexington.
(“The Talk of the Town” in The New Yorker, Dec. 26, 1988.)
So go out and light yourself on fire! What have you got to lose?
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Last night was probably emotionally draining for many people as they saw one of the most rabidly pro-abortion candidates ever get elected as the next president of the United States. Some are even saying that the pro-life movement was set back at least 30 years last night.
Last night I watched the acceptance speech of Barrack Obama. I watched as Jesse Jackson and Oprah Winfrey were trying to hold back the tears of joy and hope. I listened to interviews with pastors and civil rights leaders and my heart broke as they talked about Obama like he was the Messiah. I understand that this is a monumental event in the history of our nation. I also understand that our hope lies in no man.
While some people were ecstatic last night, others were in deep mourning, feeling utterly defeated. It almost seemed as if they thought John McCain and Sarah Palin were our only hope. I can't tell you how many times I heard people trying to convince me that Barrack Obama is the “Anti-Christ”, as they prayed for John McCain to save us from his takeover of the world.
As the results came in last night, the political landscape of this country was changed. Men and women will be either taking new positions of power or stepping down from positions they once held. Laws and policies will change, and we will have to adjust to this new direction our world in heading into.
One thing, however, did not change last night. One position of power was not affected in the least bit. While we will have a new President in the White House, the Throne of God remains sovereign. Our one and only true Hope is still our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
Two things I heard last night were “change is coming” and “yes we can”. Change is coming, and I am not going to cower or back down in the face of this change. Change is coming, and the battle for the sanctity of human life will be tougher; my resolve to win this battle is stronger.
If change is what they want, then we shall give them change. We will destroy and deny the apathetic spirit that has had a hold on this generation for too long. We will raise our voices louder than ever before until we see the end of this abortion holocaust. We will share the only true Hope for this world without shame or fear. We will not chant “yes we can” but rather “yes we will”. We will believe what God promises us in Philippians 4:13 - “I can do all things through Him who strengthens me”.
I have often said I do not know why God has chosen me to lead this ministry. I am humbled and honored to be able to serve God in this manner. I know that I have a responsibility to stand up in the darkest times and trust in the Light of Christ to lead us to victory.
I stand before you today and pledge to you that I will not be defeated by this election. I refuse to allow any earthly setbacks discourage or slow me down in this fight for life. I promise you that I will never lie down or quit; I will stand true until my last breath.
Will you stand with me?
For Christ I stand,
Bryan Kemper email@example.com
Recently I have been beating myself up for paths I have taken and choices I have made through the years. I again was reminded of the one flesh truth when Glen told me the other day that I have to stop kicking him for that.
It was what I needed to hear.
Thank God for Glen!
Saturday, November 01, 2008
Friday, October 31, 2008
Monday, October 27, 2008
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Thursday, October 23, 2008
At Planned Parenthood today, I called a woman to come talk to me. She turned to me, and acted like she wanted to come, but asked, if we would hurt her. Haha. That is so precious! She has heard, either from the popular culture, or the media, or the escorts at Planned Parenthood that we are dangerous.
We told her that we are not there to do harm, but to help... we love her. She came over, we asked what if she was there for an appointment. She had apparently already taken her friend in to the appointment, and had gone away for a while and was just coming back. We told her whatever we could, and offered help to her and her friend. I gave her my phone number, but she said she's not from around here. She had a cell phone, and I asked her if it was AT&T. It was. I told her it is a free call, then, because, I am AT&T too!
As she was walking away, I asked where she is from...Evansville. I meet the nicest people from Evansville at Planned Parenthood.
If you live in Evansville, would you find out when they do their pre-abortion examinations? These people need to hear the truth before I see them in Bloomington!
Please, go to your local Planned Parenthood, and declair the Truth to those who need to hear it.
These women come to the well at Planned Parenthood, and they do not find the living water, but rather poison for themselves, their babies, and for their souls. Take water there and give them to drink.
Saturday, October 04, 2008
Most people on that corner are common. Same same same. Glen began to think that it may have been unwise of us to send our daughters off to college, just so they could begin to think they know everything, like the people we met there.
- A swarm of conference attendees hit us in two waves. Of probably 50 or so people, not a single one took a pamphlet, and few even took the trouble to acknowledge my presense. They were so full of the knowledge that they had packed in that day, that they could not entertain even a smidgeon more.
- A young man refused my brochure, saying something about being pro-choice. He was half way across the street when I said that on that basis we have something to talk about, and I started telling him about unborn children and so on. Instead of going obliviously along his way, he stood on the other side of the street and listened to me. He thought about what I said, and responded or pondered, depending on what the point was. He was in the middle of a ponderence when I came across the street and engaged him in an extended conversation about the issue.
- When I finished, I came back to find Glen in a conversation with two guys (what do you call those guys who wear mostly black, are covered with tatoos, and have metal studs in various parts of their faces?) He finished talking to them and invited them to church. I hope they come.
One more thing: Glen is on his way to Norway! A lady from Norway was so delighted to see the Americans standing on the corner exercising their rights, that she took his picture and is going to show all her friends in Norway!
God is gracious and good, and very powerful! He is able to do more than we could ask or imagine!
Friday, September 12, 2008
Suddenly, as I received the kind words of a brother, I was convicted of my hypocrisy. Even as I stand opposed to voting for a woman, based on God's order of creation and His placing women in authority as a judgement on nations, and His giving peoples over to their iniquities as judgement on them, I was not going home and asking my own husband. I was not being silent or humble, but argumentative. I was also taking time, purchased from me by my employer, to read and respond in that blog.
When I said, "I want to follow my Saviour very closely." My Saviour crushed my prideful heart, and showed me my sin.
Father, I thank you for weighing my heart. I thank you that You are
able to show me my unclean ways, and cleanse me. Forgive me, love me, lead
me in the way everlasting!
In Christ's name, Amen
Yesterday Planned Parenthood was closed for a "Special Meeting". There were no children killed yesterday at 421 South College. My heart rejoices, but is aware that those little ones who didn't die yesterday, are on the docket for slaughter next week.
So, as my heart rejoices for the relief, the break in the battle, it is also heavy, knowing that the war goes on.
Pencil Me In
Last Thursday was the first Thursday of September, it was also the first Thursday of the Fall Semester at IU. On the first Thursday of the month, the CGS Pro-life group has an outreach planned on campus. There, we may hold signs, or pass out literature. As it turned out, it was raining, and we (old folks) wimped out on the youngsters (sorry Ben and Hannah!). We slid by the corner of Indiana and Kirkwood, and finding no one standing for the unborn in the rain, we went home ... to our dry, safe, quiet home.
This Thursday, then, was our rain date. Glen, however found himself in a special deacons meeting. So I had special meetings with passers-by on the corner of Indiana and Kirkwood.
I am so glad I was not alone. If I did not believe that God brought people to me, and stood with me, and strengthened me,
- I would definitely be intimidated by the microbiologist, who knows all the facts, and will not take my pamphlet because she is secure in knowing that it's still OK to kill the little ones.
- I would never have approached or walked with the man in the suit and tie, with a bluetooth in his ear, who confidently asserted against all reason that this is just not an important issue.
- I would never have given literature to the lesbian couple who eyed me suspiciously from across the street.
- I would never have stood in the middle of a group of jovial young men and talked to them about unborn children and the importance on considering their helplessness and need for protection.
- I would never have spoken with any authority to beautiful young women about such a "personal choice."
I gave away about 140 pamphlets with information about unborn children, choices, life, God, and my phone number. The conversations were not very stunning. Everyone was in a hurry.
God, I pray that you will do a mighty work in the hearts of my people. I pray that we will humble ourselves, and trust you, and that you will strengthen us for the work you have prepared for us to do, give us words to speak and people to hear them, and be glorified in our presense. In Christ's name I pray, Amen.
Sunday, August 31, 2008
I am concerned with Christians, though during this time. Christians need to discern, and frankly we're not very good at it. When a shiney prize is dangled in front of our faces, we will grab at it, believing that we are helping God to accomplish His good will on earth.
We must remember not only that God is the creator of life, and we, as His children must protect helpless, innocent people (even when one candidate is tickling our ears about poverty, crime and the war), but that He has given it to men to lead (even when one candidate is a pro-life, pro-guns, pro-traditional-marriage mother-of-five, one being a down-syndrome-infant.
In Scripture, the shedding of innocent blood, the killing of children in the womb is one of God's judgements on His people. We do it, because we are in rebellion against God, and we do it because we are under God's judgement!
We need to also remember that when God placed a woman over His people and others, it was His judgement on them as well (so sorry, I am haveing a hard time finding references right now). We want a woman to rule over us because we are in rebellion against God, and He gives us a woman to rule over us because we are under His judgement.
Oh, it was so much easier when the focus was on Obama against Clinton, wasn't it? Both were clearly proabortion, one a woman and one a man. As an independent voter, it was soothing to sit back and watch what God would do.
And I so hoped that McCain would stick with what I think is the closest thing to a politician's commitment, and choose an anti-abortion running mate. I really didn't think he would, because I think he will do anything to get elected. It just makes things messier that his choice is a woman.
Then I so hoped that Sarah would turn down the offer. What a hero she would be to turn down the offer of running for the second highest office in the United States of America so that she could take care of the important business of raising her little ones that are so precious to her (and her shiniest badge on her chest).
The the more I read about her, the more I realized that this was right up her alley. She is not Deborah, who took the position of leadership only when it was obvious that no man would, and gave warning that she would do so, but that there would be consequences for their failure to lead. She is not even Delilah/Herodious/(Ahab's Wife). She does not manipulate men to get her way. She GETS HER WAY. She will be a dinamo (aka: bully) in the white house just like she is in the Alaskan sate house, and in her own home.
So, if Obama is elected, we are under God's judgement and abortion will continue, and possibly be expanded, if that is possible.
But, if McCain is elected, and we have as his second in command, a woman over us, we are under God's judgement. I'm not even sure that I know what that means.
I haven't really checked out the third candidate, but I am going to. I have never been a Rep or Dem, and am not committed to either. I think McCain's choice is a reminder not to "go to Egypt" for help in fighting our battles. The judges, the congress, the president are the horses and chariots that we must not trust in. The battle belongs to the Lord.
If we trust in the Republicans to end abortion, they will betray us for political or monetary gain. If we trust in the Democrats to end poverty or discrimination, they will betray us for political or monetary gain. If we trust in a third party to be independent thinkers, they will betray us for the same or new reasons.
Put your trust in GOD!
I know that God raises rulers and brings them down. I think we need to think really hard this year, and encourage all Christians to do the same.
I think we also need to humble ourselves, confess our part in all this, and pray.
Go to the polls in November and vote according to the Will of God, and the teaching of Scripture, and according to God's leading. Do not vote strategically. Don't cast your vote because you think it will cause one result or another. Cast your vote because you know that you will stand before God one day and give an account for that action.
Don't vote for Obama; he has few redeeming ideas, and he is adament in his support of abortion.
If you vote for McCain, do so with trembling, realizing that you are ushering in God's judgement.
Consider another option.
In the meantime, as long as Roe is in force, God is bringing people to Planned Parenthoods around the country (3-4000 a day) to hear what He would have His servants say to them. Are they hearing it? Are they being told the truth? Are they being warned? Are they being loved? Are they being called to repentance? Are they hearing of God's judgement and mercy?
Monday, June 02, 2008
The divorce rate is either leveling, or decreasing, and this is not necessarily good news. It reflects, rather, that heterosexuals are not getting married, but instead they co-habitate. Homosexuals, in the mean time are demanding, on every level, that marriage be for them! How ironic.
We chase our careers while refusing to allow children into our lives, only to find out that we have waited too long. With one or two children, obtained through great expense, we raise them on pedistals of our own construction, only to find that, "our children will choose our nursing home" one day. We die in our old age, as we lived in our youth, alone.
We lower the standards of education in High Schools, so that no one will feel like a failure, and then 90% of any graduating class goes to college for four years, going into debt to acquire a degree that enables them to manage a McDonalds, making barely enough money to pay off their loans, thus delaying marriage and family. So, our two-income economic system is set up to presumably support only upper class service jobs, two incomes per household and daycares raising the fewer and fewer children.
Then, when the marriage fails, when either or both "parties" are not getting from the arrangement what they bargained for, divorce is easy. "Incompatibility" not infidelity, is the only thing necessary for the schism. Not only that, but women are paying child support to men, and men, who try to demand visitation are guilty of child abduction!
Although I will claim laziness and dread as reasons for not working on the "right place" for the wife, the unraveling of the problem is mind boggling. I was a young child when this web began to be woven...or was I only in God's plans? Each of our objections must be held up in the light of Scripture. Each must be sifted as wheat, and the chaff must be burned.
Is there anything new under the sun? Was it my mother who taught me to rebel against my husband, or did my Mother Eve?
Is there any sin that is unique to our age, that is not dealt with in Scripture?
You thought you lived in a ball of confusion back then:
1, 2... 1, 2, 3, 4, Ow!.
People moving out, people moving in.
because of the color of their skin.
Run, run, run but you sure can't hide.
An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth.
Vote for me and I'll set you free.
Rap on, brother,
Well, the only person talking about love thy brother is the...
And it seems nobody's interested in learning but the...
Segregation, determination, demonstration, integration,
Aggravation, humiliation, obligation to our nation.
Ball of confusion.
Oh yeah, that's what the world is today.
Woo, hey, hey.
The sale of pills are at an all time high.
Young folks walking round with their heads in the sky.
The cities ablaze in the summer time.
And oh, the beat goes on.
Evolution, revolution, gun control, sound of soul.
Shooting rockets to the moon,
kids growing up too soon.
Politicians say more taxes will solve everything.
And the band played on.
So, round and around and around we go.
Where the world's headed, nobody knows.
Oh, great GoogaMooga, can't you hear me talking to you.
Just a ball of confusion.
Oh yeah, that's what the world is today.
Woo, hey, hey.
Fear in the air, tension everywhere.
Unemployment rising fast,
the Beatles new record's a gas.
And the only safe place to live is on an Indian reservation.
And the band played on.
Eve of destruction, tax deduction,
Mod clothes in demand,
population out of hand,
suicide, too many bills,
Hippies moving to the hills.
People all over the world are shouting, 'End the war.
And the band played on.
Great GoogaMooga, can't you hear me talking to you.Sayin'... ball of
That's what the world is today, hey, hey.
Let me hear ya, let me hear ya, let me hear ya. Sayin'...
ball of confusion.
That's what the world is today, hey, hey.
Let me hear ya, let me hear ya, let me hear ya, let me hear ya, let me hear
ball of confusion
Does the wife belong in the home? barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen? in a corporate office? in public office? in authority? We will definitely have to rely on Scripture for any meaningful discussion:
Genesis 2:18-25 (niv)
18 The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make
a helper suitable for him."
19 Now the LORD God had formed out of the
ground all the beasts of the field and all the birds of the air. He brought them
to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each
living creature, that was its name. 20 So the man gave names to all the
livestock, the birds of the air and all the beasts of the field.
But for Adam no suitable helper was found.
21 So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was
sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and closed up the place with flesh. 22
Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he
brought her to the man.
23 The man said,
"This is now bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called 'woman, '
for she was taken out of man."
For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his
wife, and they will become one flesh.
25 The man and his wife were
both naked, and they felt no shame.
Matthew Henry on Genesis 2:18:
Power over the creatures was given to man, and as a proof of this he named them...to be continued.
all. It also shows his insight into the works of God. But though he was lord of
the creatures, yet nothing in this world was a help meet for man. From God are
all our helpers. If we rest in God, he will work all for good. God caused deep
sleep to fall on Adam; while he knows no sin, God will take care that he shall
feel no pain. God, as her Father, brought the woman to the man, as his second
self, and a help meet for him. That wife, who is of God's making by special
grace, and of God's bringing by special providence, is likely to prove a help
meet for a man. See what need there is, both of prudence and prayer in the
choice of this relation, which is so near and so lasting. That had need to be
well done, which is to be done for life. Our first parents needed no clothes for
covering against cold or heat, for neither could hurt them: they needed none for
ornament. Thus easy, thus happy, was man in his state of innocency. How good was
God to him! How many favours did he load him with! How easy were the laws given
to him! Yet man, being in honour, understood not his own interest, but soon
became as the beasts that perish
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
I went with a renewed sense of purpose, but I was consumed with other thoughts, desires, concerns. I sat in my van, thinking of these things. I was too consumed, even to pray, for the most part.
6 May those who hope in you not be
disgraced because of me, O Lord, the LORD
Almighty; may those who seek you
not be put to shame because of me,
O God of Israel. (Psalm 69)
It's true that I don't want to be a stumbling block to other Christians. I want to be a light leading others to the Gospel, and I don't want to drive some away from God by my sinfulness.
5 You know my folly, O God;
my guilt is not hidden from you. (Psalm 69)
I despair! I am not the person who is prepared, right for the position in which I find myself! I don't have the answers. I don't have the personality. I don't seem to convey Christ to those who are close to me.
8 I am a stranger to my brothers,
an alien to my own mother's sons; (Psalm
...to those I work with, to my husband, to my children... To those that God has placed in very close proximity to me! These are the people I am most ill-equipped to influence.
It is not I, who am to influence, but God. ..
1 Therefore, since Christ suffered in his body, arm yourselves also with the same
attitude, because he who has suffered in his body is done with sin. 2 As a
result, he does not live the rest of his earthly life for evil human desires,
but rather for the will of God. 3 For you have spent enough time in the past
doing what pagans choose to do—living in debauchery, lust, drunkenness, orgies,
carousing and detestable idolatry. 4 They think it strange that you do not plunge
with them into the same flood of dissipation, and they heap abuse on you. 5 But
they will have to give account to him who is ready to judge the living and the
dead. 6 For this is the reason the gospel was preached even to those who are now
dead, so that they might be judged according to men in regard to the body, but
live according to God in regard to the spirit.
7 The end of all things
is near. Therefore be clear minded and self-controlled so that you can pray.
8 Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of
sins. 9 Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. 10 Each one should use
whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's
grace in its various forms. 11 If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking
the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God
provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him
be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen. (I Peter 4)
PS: into this despair God sent His servants, Clint and Ginger to encourage and focus. Praise God from Whom all blessings flow!
Thursday, May 15, 2008
I was reconvicted of this great need here in Bloomington, but I also discovered something that I had not considered.
Do you live in a city where there is a Planned Parenthood? Not every Planned Parenthood does abortions. Some do not. The one in Evansville does not, and that is where the man and his girlfriend in my previous post went for their pregnancy test, and referral. No one had told him about another option. He saw only obsticles. Would they have chosen differently, if someone had been there with another message? ...another choice? ...an offer of help, a hug? I don't know.
I do know that some people don't go to Planned Parenthood on the killing days, because it is too radical, too "militant" (it's not, really), too hopeless.
Some, who do go on the killing days do not go on the testing days, because the level of urgency is lower, maybe. I am not sure, but I think that is why I cower in my car, shamefully.
I would like to encourage you, whether you are the former or the latter, go. Based on the white harvest fields, go. Based on the call of Jesus to go to those in need, go. There is great need. Go.
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Thurdsay, May 8: I am sorry that I am finishing this post a week later. By now, much has sloshed out of my brain.
A black man came out of Planned Parenthood to smoke a cigarette. We had been there a while, and thoughts of leaving were on my mind. I had asked God to show us His glory, and He had. Here we were, in Bloomington saying things that no one wanted to hear. This is God's glory. He uses the foolish things of this world to confound the wise. He uses our weakness to show His strength perfect. We were weak fools, and we had confidence in God.
This black man was smoking his cigarette, and I motioned for him to come over. Here we were, the weirdos (everyone knows that we are weirdos, freaks) calling him to come to us, in the rain. He came over. Why did he come over?
He came over and stood, smoking his cigarette under my umbrella. I asked him why he was there. He shrugged his shoulders. He knew why we were there, didn't he? I asked him if he had gotten someone pregnant. He looked me in the eye and said, "Well, ya know, shit happens." I agreed. I told him the facts about unborn children and abortion. He said, "If we didn't do this, would you take the baby?"
At some point, I gave him one of my brochures.
I have to tell the truth. I can't take the baby. Glen and I have already talked about this. I also know, personally, several couples who would, and others who might. I also know, for a fact, that, given the opportunity, our church would support that woman through her pregnancy.
I told him the truth. Shelly asked him if he would go get her, if it's not too late. He started to give my brochure back to me, and said, "It's too late." I pushed the brochure back into his hand and told him of the pain she will feel later. I told him that she's going to be sad, and she won't understand, and he won't know how to help her. I showed him my phone number, and told him to have her call me. I told him that we want to help, that we love her.
He looked at me and his eyes melted. I knew that was how the woman at the well looked at Jesus. I think that God was glorified in our presense.
From there, the man confessed his sins to us. We told him about Jesus, and that he needs to read his Bible, and get married, and find a church family. We told him that the best we can do in this world on our own, is our lousy best. "Shit happens" alright. Jesus is our only hope.
Jesus is the answer to this man's pitiful attempt to improve himself. Jesus is the answer to his girlfriend's need for a man's approval. Jesus is the answer to my loveless heart. Jesus is our only hope, and our greatest fear!
God, I pray for Ray. I pray that he will be broken. I pray that you would grant him godly sorrow, and that you will give him a new heart!
Friday, May 02, 2008
Physically, for a short time, various things prevented me from standing for truth and in defense of the helpless, and calling for justice. After that, I was hesitant to go. I felt out of place. I felt helpless, speechless, meaningless.
When I started going again, I kept myself silent. I didn't love the babies enough to call for mercy. I didn't love the women, the escorts, the guards, the manager of Planned Parenthood, the staff enough to warn them of the danger to their souls. I didn't love God enough to proclaim His just judgements; His great mercy and magnificent salvation; His truth. I found myself confused by the friendly conversations between guards, staff, and protesters. I found myself jealous (this is ugly) of those who could speak, sing, and read Scripture there; of those who seemed to belong there.
1 I said, "I will watch my waysand keep my tongue
from sin;I will put a muzzle
on my mouthas long as the
wicked are in my presence."
2 But when
I was silent and still,not even saying
anything good,my anguishincreased.
3 My heart grew hot within
me,and as I meditated,
the fire burned;then I spoke with
4 "Show me, O LORD, my
life's endand the number of
my days;let me know how
fleeting is my life.
5 You have made
my days a mere handbreadth;the span of my
years is as nothing before you.Each man's life is
but a breath. Selah
6 Man is a
mere phantom as he goes to and fro:He bustles about,
but only in vain;he heaps up wealth,
not knowing who will get it.
"But now, Lord, what do I look
for?My hope is in you.
8 Save me from all my
transgressions;do not make me the
scorn of fools.
9 I was silent; I
would not open my mouth,for you are the one
who has done this.
10 Remove your
scourge from me;I am overcome by
the blow of your hand.
11 You rebuke
and discipline men for their
sin;you consume their
wealth like a moth—each man is but a
12 "Hear my prayer,
O LORD,listen to my cry
for help;be not deaf to my
weeping.For I dwell with
you as an alien,a stranger, as all
my fathers were.
13 Look away from
me, that I may rejoice againbefore I depart and
am no more."Psalm 39
Yesterday, God returned to me. It may be that I needed to sort out the pearls, the swine, the way of the wicked, love for my enemies, and hatred for those who hate God. Yesterday, God removed the restraint on my tongue, and gave me words to speak and desire to speak them.
Friday, April 18, 2008
I was sitting here at my computer, checking out some stuff, when it seemed like one of the dogs started scratching. Sometimes when they scratch, they will be up against a wall or door, and they will make something vibrate.
Then I realized that the shaking was happening to everything, and not just one particular wall. The things on the shelves in the kitchen were rattling, and in the living room, and everywhere!
I was standing, when I realized this, because I was going to get the scratching dog so she didn't wake anyone else up; so I went down on my knees. I guess I was thinking that if the ceiling fell, it would be better if it didn't knock me down, I suppose.
While I was on my knees, I remembered Who holds my life in His hand, Who provides me with the roof over my head, and Who will sustain it and me, if He so decides.
The rattling subsided, but the house continued to vibrate. One neighborhood dog had started to bark with a frightened tone. I looked out the front window, and everything seemed normal, except that there are no cars in my neighbor's driveway.
I went to Lydia's room to get one of the dogs, and found her up gathering her birds back into their cage. The quake had frightened them. By the time I was done there, the quake seemed to be completely done.
Glen slept through it.
Thank you God, for this reminder of Your great power. Thank you for life and love, our home, and for all that You provide and require of us. In Christ name, Amen.
Thursday, February 07, 2008
Her girlfriend had long bronzed hair, drove a black pick-up truck, and was a #24 fan. She talked loudly on her cell phone whenever she was outside.
We talked to a couple of escorts on their way out. They ignored us. I hope that they will be changed, by God's grace.
We talked to a young man with an big cheshire grin that was his protection, until he just had to let it out: He works there. What does he do? He had an attache case that was as big as his grin, and heavy. He had to open his passenger door in order to let it in.
A young man came out to have a smoke, and ignored us, better than the one who works there.
The black woman who works there, heard again that this is wrong, and there is a better way.
Another woman, who works there, and has access to the back entrance also heard from us.
A woman, who came alone, said that we should not judge and that God said we should not judge. (This after I told her that they were killing children today, here.) She insisted that we should not judge people.
As we were leaving, a woman, probably in her early forties, with short hair, and a nice car drove up. She was alone, and I thought she would go next door to the community health outpost. She walked toward the entrance to Planned Parenthood, though and since she was alone, and because of her age, I guess I thought she might work there. I simply told her that it is wrong to kill children. I thought that after that, I might be able to determine her purpose there.
She exploded! She was there for birth control, and that we should leave these poor little girls alone, and that they should have the safest health care available. She started walking toward us, shaking her finger at us, and getting louder and louder. The poor security guard, whose first day it was, and who wasn't even wearing a uniform had to get out of his warm car and be ready to protect us if this woman got out of hand. He was probably told that there was nothing to do after 10:00!
She was still yelling when she turned around, telling us that we would rot in hell, and went into the building.
This woman took many steps to come to this moment. Who knows who the "little girls" were, whom she sprang to shield from guilt? God knows her path. He directed her steps to cross ours. Quite frankly, the conversation is a blur to me. I really was nearly afraid for a moment, she was very angry.
I'm sure that we were less than eloquent. God, though, used Jonah to turn the Ninevites to repentance. May God also use us to turn that angry woman, that smug young man, that grandma, who sat out in the car with a pre-schooler while, God-knows-what atrocity was happening inside, that woman who knows that we should not judge, those women who work there day after day, those escorts, and the new guard away from their evil, and to repentance, teaching them His ways.