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Tuesday, October 17, 2006

There is Hope

I was wrong. There is hope, and it is amazing. This is one of those times when God actually reached into my heart and gave me His peace, which passes all understanding. He washed me with His Word, and gave me a hug from the inside out.

I have to admit that last Wednesday night in Women's Bible I got very discouraged. A man's third greatest need is an attractive wife?! His first greatest need is sexual fulfillment. It was articulated that a man is always a glance or a click away from other, adulterous images. His wife is the only safe, fidelitous image that he can have in his mind, so make it good, sister.

I know that I could spruce it up a bit, but come on!

As much as we think something sounds like it makes sense, or fits our experience, we need to look at it through the lense of Scripture.

On one level, I want to get indignant and say that the man has some responsibility to maintain his own vessel. I know though that that is beside the point and we are not looking at him, but at me. Besides, that argument sounds much better coming from a vibrant, voluptuos vixon. From Mrs. Frumpy, it loses impact.

More than anything, this thought occupied my mind: "I couldn't compete with those images and young beauties when I was 26. These 20 years has not given me the edge." Am I to perm and dye my hair and put on fine clothes? I also was painfully aware of my lack of fashion sense. I'm not elegant. WOE; how I have cheated my husband of an attractive wife!

You can see the despondency into which I slipped.

Praise God, from Whom all blessings flow. Praise Him for He alone knows my heart. Praise Him for His thoughts are higher than my thoughts and His greatness is unsearchable. There is nowhere that I can go, but He is there!

On my way home from work, I sobbed, "How can this be... (and He began to answer me out of the the whirlwind, and through His precious Word) ...that as a woman gets older, and fatter and wrinklier and stiffer, how can it be that her husband will rejoice in the wife of his youth...that her breasts will always satisfy him and he will be captivated by her love. (from Pr.5)

And God said, because I said so. And He called to my mind Sarah, whose child I long to be. Abraham was afraid for his life because of her beauty, but it was the beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit. He talked to me about how He has the hearts of men and kings in His hand. He brought many scriptures to my mind and washed me, and I rejoiced.

I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. (Eph 3:16-21)

1 comment:

RunnerE said...

It sounds like God is doing a work in your heart through this. Keep seeking! The way I see it is that it is the man's job to come to you and it is our job to be there for him. It will always be a struggle for men, but don't overlook the struggles women face also. A good book to read is called, For Women Only, by Shaunti Feldham.