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Saturday, April 29, 2006

Something to think about...

Something to think about:

God struck Ananius and Sophyra dead for lying,
(under grace)

but let David live.
(under the law)

I hugged my daughter today...

April 6, 2006

I hugged Lydia last night before we went to bed. This morning when I hugged her, she was taller than I!

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Looking at myself through other windows.

From a conversation between my husband and his oldest daughter:

Husband: She (my daughter) gets something in her head and won't let it go.
Oldest daughter: She gets it from her mother.

From a woman that I am just in love with and whom I admire more than I can say:

I guess I'm just intimidated by you.

I Peter 3
1 Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. 4 Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. 5 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, 6 like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.

God, Give me a gentle and quiet spirit by which I will reflect your assurance and mortify my will, my image, and my self. Give me grace to follow my husband with joy and regard my reputation with abandon.
In Jesus name,

Thursday, April 06, 2006


421 South College Ave.

1505 West Second Street.

A world apart. Just down the street, really.

Why must I go? It was rainy today. There was a meeting here at work. I was not included in this meeting about online classes, but to leave at 9:00 would be to leave my post unattended. To insist that I leave right on time would be to insist that God requires my presence in order to accomplish His will, I think. I also have obligations to my employer. So I waited. I talked to God about it. I trust Him, and I don't think I was denying Him to wait. Abortions happen all day long, apparently at Planned Parenthood.

If I were there to save lives, I would be arrested every week. I would invade the no-fly zone. I would be in the faces of the people there. I would block the way, pleading for reason and justice.

Your purpose defines your activity. Your belief defines your purpose.

I am not there to save lives. I have talked to God about this. He calls me there so I go. He knows who I am, and He calls me anyways. Good and upright is the Lord, and He teaches me His way for I am a sinner (Ps.25). I am available, and last week, He taught me, I think that He will give me words when He wants me to talk. I am there, like Ezekiel, to proclaim God's truth; to warn of coming wrath; to offer the way of Salvation. If God would use me to save a life or to convict of sin and point to Him, I am there.

(Man, that sounds so much like a cop out! God! Search me and know my heart. Create in me a clean and steadfast heart. Reveal any wicked way in me. Lead me on the path of righteousness for your name's sake!)

After my time of worship, I feel close to God. I feel cleansed. I feel like I am saturated with God; through and through and dripping. Sometimes I walk away talking to God or singing to Him still. I seriously feel like my feet are not touching the ground sometimes.

After last week, I looked forward to Thursday morning. I'm sure this is NOT right. Maybe that's why He brought the rain, and sent me there late, and alone. (Alone times at Planned Parenthood are always clarifying times.) I think, if I were honest, I would think that I thought people paid attention to ME last week... I would think that the way I behaved and the words I said made a difference. I would admit that I forgot that only God can change a heart of stone to flesh.

I am not sure why I am there, but I'm pretty sure it is not to bring attention to myself. I'm quite certain that it is to proclaim truth, magnify God and shine a light, not on myself, but on sin. Being in this place of iniquity and death should cause me to be downcast, not uplifted.

When it is raining, no one stands outside to hear my droning. No one stays to ignore more than a sentence or two of Scripture. The rain quickly washes the hymns out of the air to splash on the pavement below.

There was a very large man waiting in a very large pickup truck. Its rumbling motor hummed most of the hour I was there. He seemed to be alone. Then, he turned off the motor, went inside, and came out with his arm around a little girl just as I was preparing to leave. He looked at me, to make sure that I was no threat and put her in the pickup truck and drove away. This time I cried as I walk back down College Avenue to my car. I returned to work soaked and discouraged.