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Monday, October 24, 2005

Here am I; Send me!

'Before I left, I waved at her and hollered, "See you next week!" She hollered back, "See YOU next week."' (See "Rocky vs. Li Quan" post below)


When I go to PP, I usually come down Second, cross College (Southbound) and proceed to Walnut and turn left (Northbound). Then I go around the block to Third, turn left, proceed to College and turn left again. I used to go around the block a couple of times to get in closer, but that was when I would sneak in as the real protesters were leaving. Now I park on the left side of the road in front of Signs Now or a health food store.

Last Thursday, anticipating whether the counter-protester was there and determined to go to her with a hot cup of coffee (butterflies...butterflies!), I turned instead north on Rogers to Third and then East to College.

[It is quite chilly, I thought, and she will like a cup of coffee. As a matter of fact I think everyone would like a cup of coffee!]

Headed South on College, I was in the right lane with PP on the left.

I would swing past and then go to the place formerly known as Bigfoot on the corner of Fifth and Rogers. There I would get a couple of cups of coffee and share them with her. I would wait for God to give me words.

What would He have me talk to her about? What did Jesus talk to the woman at the well about? He kept the conversation on the essential--the eternal. She wanted to talk about water, He talked about Living Water. She wanted to talk about where to worship, He talked about worshipping in Spirit and in Truth and that Salvation does come from the Jews.

How did Nehemiah answer the scoffers? This is God's work, these are God's people, and you have no part in it. The end.

What did God tell Ezekiel to tell the Isrealites? Tell them this is what the Lord God said whether they listen or fail to listen.

What is my issue with her? When it is boiled down, it is that she has no regard for what God says. That I know.

Side issue: {What I don't know is, why is she so adament? When I lived according to the ways of the prince of this world, I didn't care whether someone got an abortion or not, but this passion, has some root.}

Side issue: {What is her issue with me? Does she think that killing unborn babies will become illegal? Why is this issue so close to her heart?}

I saw the men in robes, and the women with beads on the left in front of PP. (What is my issue with them?) I saw the signs telling and showing the gruesome realities of this day in Bloomington. I did not see the long blond hair I sought either on the left or on the right side of the road. She wasn't there.

I drove around the block again, not stopping for coffee. I pulled up in front of Signs Now, (no, it was even further down the street, because it was the third Thursday) and walked the rest of the way to the sidewalk in front of Planned Parenthood. Carole greeted me with a hug and filled me in on the day's doings. Fifteen women had gone in, she said. For abortions? Yes. I asked about the Starbuck girl and she said that she never came.

I cannot tell you...I worked that out and was ready to...what? I'm not sure, but I was available... Here am I, send me! It was exhausting. I was disappointed.

Has God prepared my heart to be ready to set myself on fire for Him? Has He prepared me to be the fool for Him?

Here am I. Send me!

7 comments:

Hind's Feet said...

God doesn't promise the outcome. He merely asks and expects our obedience. Should He have more for you to do it wil become clear. We owe Him our very lives, so obeying Him should become part of our every day routine. Maybe this is the arena you learn obedience and being bold and ready and it may be elsewhere He has you to speak. Only He knows. What an adventure. So glad you allowed your weakness to become His strength.

Rachel Pierson said...

Kim,

Thank you. I can see the wisdom in your words. My question at the end of the day was the same as many people have asked when they hear the story of Abraham and Isaac. So why did God put him (me) through that?

If I understand you correctly, you are saying it may have been a strengthening exercise, so to speak.

Confession: One day at PP I was "alone" in front of the building and a black couple got out of a car right in front of me. They came up the sidewalk within several feet of me and went up the steps and around the side of the building. The most they had from me was a flittering of eye contact. Boldness is definitely my weakness.

When Tim said Sunday that "You have made a concious decision" not to make yourself a fool for God. He said, "You know you have...you have a mother-in-law." I know he was speaking to me.

Rachel

Rachel Pierson said...

"If I understand you correctly, you are saying it may have been a strengthening exercise, so to speak."

Actually in my case, it may have been like strength training, or it may have been more like it was with Abraham: a proving or refining of his faith.

...but then again, Abraham had a wealth of strength training under his belt already.

Rachel

Hind's Feet said...

Were you and the coffee drinker both present today? What happened? Or didn't? Just trying to follow through.

Rachel Pierson said...

She was there. I was there.

So much to say. I don't know what to say. I thought if I waited a while, I would be able to sort it out and make sense of it, but I am as messed up about it now as I was last Thursday night.

She came at about 8 or 8:30. She bundled up and had her Starbucks. She had the same sign she had before. She went across the street and held her sign.

Carole went and offered her her chair. She moved farther down the street and Carole stayed there for a while and then came back.

Several other people approached her and she began to be hypersensitive to the presense of the opposing view.

I thought thought about leaving her alone, because I could see she was aggrevated. She threatened to get the security guard if this one guy didn't leave her alone.

Glen came, though, and at my request brought me two coffees and a variety of creamers and sweeteners from Speedway. I walked accross the street and offered her a cup of coffee. She backed away from me and shook her head. I talked soothingly and told her that I just wanted to share a cup of coffee with her, and I didn't know how she liked her coffee, and it's cold. She shook her head and told me to go away. Did I say anything like, I love you, or I wish we could talk? I don't think so. I wish I had. Will I quietly and consistently continue to try? I will pray about this.

I want to keep my focus like Nehemiah. What is the real thing? It is the Glory of God. What is it that the pro-choicers and most of the pro-lifers and also most of the folks just passing by either snickering or shaking their heads in disgust have in common? They have either a disregard or disdain for the word of God.

Hind's Feet said...

It is hard to love those who don't want to be loved, or who want love but are afraid of it.

If she had allowed you to reach out to her she might have felt that she was betraying her "cause" by "fraternizing" with the enemy. She also plain old might have been scared.

As so many had already apporached her it may have seemed a "plan" worked out by all of you, rather than God's children sharing the love of Christ through chairs, kind words or coffee.

Go easy and keep smiling. You have a warm and inviting smile. Perhaps later she would be happy to meet in a place like Starbucks that is public, but not in view of PP... I don't know.

I will pray. It really is a conundrum. To love her you need to give her space, but to give her space does not allow you to share the love of Christ with her fully. I will pray also. Thank you for being faithful and trying to return all glory to God.

Rachel Pierson said...

Thank you Kim. That was a wise and compassionate response.

It not only seeks to keep what happened in perspective, but also what can be done. I will pray too. This is what we must do.

Thank you for your encouragement and how you say--forthrightness.

Rachel