Here am I; Send me!

'Before I left, I waved at her and hollered, "See you next week!" She hollered back, "See YOU next week."' (See "Rocky vs. Li Quan" post below)


When I go to PP, I usually come down Second, cross College (Southbound) and proceed to Walnut and turn left (Northbound). Then I go around the block to Third, turn left, proceed to College and turn left again. I used to go around the block a couple of times to get in closer, but that was when I would sneak in as the real protesters were leaving. Now I park on the left side of the road in front of Signs Now or a health food store.

Last Thursday, anticipating whether the counter-protester was there and determined to go to her with a hot cup of coffee (butterflies...butterflies!), I turned instead north on Rogers to Third and then East to College.

[It is quite chilly, I thought, and she will like a cup of coffee. As a matter of fact I think everyone would like a cup of coffee!]

Headed South on College, I was in the right lane with PP on the left.

I would swing past and then go to the place formerly known as Bigfoot on the corner of Fifth and Rogers. There I would get a couple of cups of coffee and share them with her. I would wait for God to give me words.

What would He have me talk to her about? What did Jesus talk to the woman at the well about? He kept the conversation on the essential--the eternal. She wanted to talk about water, He talked about Living Water. She wanted to talk about where to worship, He talked about worshipping in Spirit and in Truth and that Salvation does come from the Jews.

How did Nehemiah answer the scoffers? This is God's work, these are God's people, and you have no part in it. The end.

What did God tell Ezekiel to tell the Isrealites? Tell them this is what the Lord God said whether they listen or fail to listen.

What is my issue with her? When it is boiled down, it is that she has no regard for what God says. That I know.

Side issue: {What I don't know is, why is she so adament? When I lived according to the ways of the prince of this world, I didn't care whether someone got an abortion or not, but this passion, has some root.}

Side issue: {What is her issue with me? Does she think that killing unborn babies will become illegal? Why is this issue so close to her heart?}

I saw the men in robes, and the women with beads on the left in front of PP. (What is my issue with them?) I saw the signs telling and showing the gruesome realities of this day in Bloomington. I did not see the long blond hair I sought either on the left or on the right side of the road. She wasn't there.

I drove around the block again, not stopping for coffee. I pulled up in front of Signs Now, (no, it was even further down the street, because it was the third Thursday) and walked the rest of the way to the sidewalk in front of Planned Parenthood. Carole greeted me with a hug and filled me in on the day's doings. Fifteen women had gone in, she said. For abortions? Yes. I asked about the Starbuck girl and she said that she never came.

I cannot tell you...I worked that out and was ready to...what? I'm not sure, but I was available... Here am I, send me! It was exhausting. I was disappointed.

Has God prepared my heart to be ready to set myself on fire for Him? Has He prepared me to be the fool for Him?

Here am I. Send me!

What's It All About, Alfie?

Galations 6:8-10
8 The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. 9 Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. 10 Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.

I struggle with my motivation in almost everything I do. The Bible says, "10 Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms. 11 If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen. 12 Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you." (I Peter 4:10-12) And also, " 31 So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God." (I Corinthians 10:31)

11 Dear friends, I urge you, as aliens and strangers in the world, to abstain from sinful desires, which war against your soul. 12 Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us. 13 Submit yourselves for the Lord's sake to every authority instituted among men: whether to the king, as the supreme authority, 14 or to governors, who are sent by him to punish those who do wrong and to commend those who do right. 15 For it is God's will that by doing good you should silence the ignorant talk of foolish men. (I Peter 2:11 - 15)

Sword Drill: Where does it say that it is He who enables us to will and to do His good pleasure (mixing quotes?) Where do we get the idea that He burdens our hearts and then enables us to accomplish those things that He has called us unto?

So, if I go to Lady Starbucks with a cup of coffee, is it for my own self image? Will I be puffing myself up?

On the other hand, if I don't, is it because I don't want to appear to be a fool, not knowing what her reaction would be? Is it so that I won't appear to be puffing myuself up? Is it because I have no idea what I would say to her, and I do not trust God to give me words (Matthew 10:18 - 20)?

10 And he said to me, "Son of man, listen carefully and take to heart all the words I speak to you. 11 Go now to your countrymen in exile and speak to them. Say to them, 'This is what the Sovereign LORD says,' whether they listen or fail to listen." (Ezekiel 3:10&11)

Look to Nehemiah. Again and again this man of God was able to keep his focus and restore the focus of the remnant of Israel to where it belongs: not on the "feeble Jews" or on the rubble with which they would rebuild the walls; not on the danger from their enemies or the reproach of their tormenters. The focus is God, His will and His glory. It always has been, and should be now.

I want to keep the focus where it should be. I want to want to take the lowest place for Him, trusting Him to be my good.

(Reminds me of Jesus speaking to the Samaritan woman at the well.--I want to love like that!)

Rocky vs. Li Quan

(Sometimes I'll read a portion of Scripture as if I had never read it before.)

I felt like Rocky this morning when I arrived at Planned Parenthood. I was wrong. It is not our fight. It is the Lord's. Some trust in chariots, arrows, horses, presidents, judges, signs, and numbers...but we trust in the name of the Lord our God. (Ps. 20:7)

There was a young woman on the other side of the street with a two-sided sign. On one side it said, "Abortion is a woman's right!" On the other side was written, "KEEP IT LEGAL!"

She made the hour interesting. She made me think. It occured to me that there is fear that killing unborn children may become illegal. Outside of the intervention of God, I don't see it happening. We are afterall, wise in our own eyes. We, the people of the United States of America are in agreement that we are right, and have our rights! We, afterall by our mouths lay claim to heaven itself and by our tongues take possesion of the earth. We also say, "[Huh!] How can God know? Does the Most High have knowledge?" (Ps. 73:9&11)

It also occured to me that God is not afraid, "the Lord laughs at the wicked, for He knows their day is coming." (Ps. 37:13) Knowing God, we are instructed also not to be afraid. "Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret-it leads only to evil." (v.8)

So what do I do with this woman? I watched her, and prayed for her; and our nation and the protesters, and the doctor and staff and the beeping passers-by. Every now and then she made eye contact with me across the street. What is she thinking? What is her reasoning? Is she beyond reasoning?

I am not afraid of her. I do not know her and don't care what she thinks of me. I do have the fear of man, so I am not speaking lightly about this. It is a real issue with me. Every now and then she would reach down and take a drink from a Starbucks cup. I wondered how she likes her coffee. What an odd thing to wonder at a time like this, I thought.

Before I left, I waved at her and hollered, "See you next week!" She hollered back, "See YOU next week."

Besides the fear of man, I also fear Starbucks. Starbucks was featured in "You've Got Mail" as a place where you can make 7 different choices to get one beverage for an incredible amount of money. Starbucks features about three of my top ten fears.

So I wondered: I wonder how she likes her coffee? (Colossians 3:1-15/focus: vs.12-14)

The Quest

The quest began when I started going to Planned Parenthood on Thursdays. I normally take my lunch break earliest in our office, at 10:00 am. By then most protesters are gone from the place. So I would sit in my car and read Psalms and listen to God and talk to Him as I meditated on His word in the context of the place and time I was in. I fell into a pattern of reading, during the hour I was there, seven Psalms; one for each day of the previous week since I was there last.

I came one day to Psalm 36. I cannot tell you how deeply this has impacted me. The entire Psalm, of course, but focusing in on verse two: "For in his own eyes he flatters himself too much to detect or hate his sin." At first I thought, "How appropriate for Thursdays! God, open THEIR eyes that they may see THEIR sin and hate it."

But how could I say that, when the people driving by, or going about their business, have closed their eyes to what goes on there or to what God approves or dissapproves? So I said, "God, open the eyes of the people of this city and of this land that they may see that they love the sin they support by their apathy, the sin they call choice, and sexual freedom."

But how could I say that, when there are people standing in a group on the sidewalk in front of Planned Parenthood holding their beads and signs and wearing their robes, who have blinded themselves to the sufficiency of the blood of Christ to wash away their sins? So I said, "God, open the eyes of those who are captivated by the mysiticism and rituals that seem to them to make up for their sins and gain favor in your sight. Open their eyes and let them know that their righteousness is as filthy rags."

But how could I say that, when my brothers and sisters in Christ, who worship God in truth and humility, are not burdened for the children being slaughtered or for those whose daily steps take them closer and closer to the edge of the abyss, and they do nothing to snatch them back from the flame. So I said, "God, Open their eyes that they may see that their silence condemns the sinner to hell..."

But then I realized that "they" are me and how could I say anything but "God, I am a woman of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips. Show me if there is any unclean way with in me, and make me clean."

So this has been my prayer. God, I am a sinner, lead me in your way (Ps. 25) Open my eyes and let me see my sin and let me hate it. (Ps. 36) Create in me a clean heart. (Ps. 51)

So the quest began...

Once I commented on a blog and I received a blog-flogging
from some lurkers there. A dear little one thought that the
internet was a wonderful way to cloister yourself up--I mean hedge
yourself about-- and still impact the world. Maybe, but there is no "pressing flesh," no touching, no eye contact, no reassuring smile,
no tears to temper your criticism, no wink or sparkle that would indicate gentle humor or understanding and love.

I bring this up to say this: I haven't posted in a couple of weeks. I
have been thinking a lot, though. It takes me a long time to post the
simplest of musings, and a lot of tissues. I never intended for this
blog to be used like this. I wanted to put up ponderables and work
them out with whoever stopped by. I really did want to wrestle out some of the stickier issues in the Christian life. I expected to wrestle them out with unseen flesh and blood.

I have come to realize that God is using this to reveal to me sins of which He
will purge me. (Remember, I did ask Him to do this, and He has shown Himself faithful and powerful.) He is using it like a refiner's fire, and although I thought it would be through the corrective responses of bothers and sisters, as it turns out, it is through His Word and His Spirit.

When I post the tears flow. I am amazed, and it is exhausting. I came to realize this when I posted about the missing V key on my keyboard. This was going to be a simple, humorous, light-hearted post, but by the end of the post, I was convicted of my lack of gratitude for what God has given me; also that others, seeking God would be hindered by my words and behavior.

I don't want this to be a negative blog, but the purging of sin is a terrible and wonderful process.

I want while I am going through it, and forever afterward to say:

16 Come and listen, all you who fear God;
let me tell you what he has done for me.

17 I cried out to him with my mouth;
his praise was on my tongue.

18 If I had cherished sin in my heart,
the Lord would not have listened;

19 but God has surely listened
and heard my voice in prayer.

20 Praise be to God,
who has not rejected my prayer
or withheld his love from me! (Psalm 66)

Answers? I'm not sure that I am going to be getting black and white answers like I would like:

I think I just got my "Propriety in
Prayer" question answered on the Pastors Bayly blog ( Baylyblog: Out of
our minds, too: B. B. Warfield on silence in the church... ).

Now I would appreciate answers to some other questions like:

How do you love like that?

Is passion, like love, an action and not a feeling?

How do you tame the tongue, putting yourself aside and the needs,
concerns, reputation of others ahead of yourself?

If the issue is, "On what or whom am I trusting for salvation?" then
how can Catholicism be called anything but heresy?

How can we "stand with our Catholic Brothers in the cause of life" if they are not our Brothers?

Would this be "unequally yoked?"

Exactly what do we call freedom, and when do we call it heresy?

Actually George, an 88 year old black guy who goes to Planned Parenthood on Thursdays has helped me to understand the Catholic Brother/heresy question more clearly than I have ever understood it before. I only met him once. He thought I said I was Saint Rachel, but I said that I usually go by just plain Rachel. He, being a "regular Catholic on the street" shared with me about how his sister was released from purgatory. He also stated clearly that although he thought Christ was "sufficient" that he also needed to do some things to "boost" himself into heaven.

Brothers, let us not grow weary of doing good, just because others use these same good works to justify themselves before a righteous and holy God. Be responsive to the burden that God places on your heart, it is the good works that He has saved you unto (Sword Drill: Where does it say that we were saved unto good works that He prepared for us in advance to do?)

Something's Missing!

This is a post that has no edificational or sanctimonious alue at all. There is something missing and I just, for fun wanted to go ahead and post a post without compensating for it. Can you guess what is missing?

I am ery surprized that I use this letter so much. I didn't think I did. It is one of those letters that you just take for granted until it "goes missing." Howeer, now that I am actually talking specifically about it, I find that I am not missing it whatsoeer!

We had a spill on our keyboard and now, it is eident that one of the keys has passed on and will not be reied. We can use that charactor by inserting a pen or pencil tip into the place where the key used to be, but I'm tired of that, so I say, to heck with the , full speed ahead!

Of course it will neer be the same, talking about blessed topics such as salation, the proidence of God, the soereignty of God, and Jesus being "ery God of ery God."

This does hae its upside, though. We can just do away with such things as family alues, Dener, olcanoes; and words such as ilification and ociferous.

We may need a new ersion of the Bible, howeer. We could, maybe call it the NI. Some passages may sound somewhat different:

You are my King and my God, who decrees ictories for Jacob. Through you we push back our enemies; through your name we trample our foes. I do not trust in my bow, my sword does not bring me ictory; but you gie us ictory oer our enemies, you put our adersaries to shame. In God we make our boast all day long, and we will praise your name foreer. (Psalm 44:4-8)

Some may not be effected at all in the NI:

You know my folly, O God; my guilt is not hidden from you. May those who hope in you not be disgraced because of me, O Lord, the Lord Almighty; may those who seek you not be put to shame because of me, O God of Israel. (Psalm 69:5-6)

Seek God with your whole heart.

God has blessed Glen with a friend who happens to hae too many keyboards! So he gae Glen a keyboard. Thanks be to God for his bountiful gifts! I confess here my ingratitude and I pray for a grateful heart.

I want to love like that!

Why? It could be that the poor woman craves love and thinks it will
come by giving herself away. Or possibly she hates herself, feels
worthless, and expects to be used. Maybe she was inducted into this life
because of the sexual abuse she suffered as a child or as a young woman.
Maybe she ended up here because of alcohol, drugs or poverty. There can be
a dozen different reasons, but all of them are wrong and my heart aches for
her. I want to take her in my arms, call her beloved, tell her she
is precious to God and that this is not what God intends for her, that this is
not how a woman finds fulfillment.

The Truth about Sex

Kay Arthur

Chapter 5; Pg. 93

One time, I was watching TV and there was a show on about Marde Gras. They showed a blurred scene of a couple of girls lifting their tops to expose themselves for onlookers and the camara. I became indignant and left the room. While stewing about it, I realized that those girls are not to be hated, like I was doing, but pitied. They thought that was what they had to offer; how they would get approval.

I would want to have this depth of insight more and more. I am sorry for the hatred I nurtured in my heart for the young women, and their audience. This is something I will need to pray for. It is not something that would come naturally to me.

I would naturally be in one of two camps. I would either be under the deception of Mardi Gras (which I once was), or the hate-filled-righteously-indignant-on-looker (which I am).

God has changed my heart and taught me to understand the deception, and to hate the sin of the strange woman of Proverbs and the simple-minded man who follows after her.

Now, I think He is teaching me to love the sinner as He loved me while I did my laps in the wilderness. Why is this so hard?

I spoke the other day so accusingly of the flag-girls in the high school band. The moves they are taught are seductive, and the outfits they wear are revealing. My husband brought me up short, pointing out my malignant grumbling.

Who, though, could I take in my arms and call beloved? Whom could I tell that this was not God's best for them? Their flag coach? Their mothers? Each of the girls, themselves?

How could I do that when my natural inclination is to hold them at arms length with my finger pointing accusingly at them? And, by the way, why is that? I was there once, and Jesus took me in His arms and told me that this is not what He wants for me.

It is Phariseism. I don't know how to love like Jesus did, but I want to.

Recently, God is continually bringing people across my path and revealing my judgement to me: A Mae West-like woman, flagrantly dressed, and I see the need in her eyes. A presumably gay young man, who has resolved himself to be the comic relief, whose eyes catch mine as I resist the urge to chuckle, because I see the sin and the bondage there.

5 guide me in your truth and teach me,
for you are God my Savior,
and my hope is in you all day long.
6 Remember, O LORD, your great mercy and love,
for they are from of old.
7 Remember not the sins of my youth
and my rebellious ways;
according to your love remember me,
for you are good, O LORD.
8 Good and upright is the LORD;
therefore he instructs sinners in his ways.
9 He guides the humble in what is right
and teaches them his way.
10 All the ways of the LORD are loving and faithful
for those who keep the demands of his covenant.
11 For the sake of your name, O LORD,
forgive my iniquity, though it is great.
12 Who, then, is the man that fears the LORD ?
He will instruct him in the way chosen for him.

Psalm 25:5-12 (New International Version)

Lead me, Lord

Lead me in Thy righteousness

Make Thy way plain

Before my face.

Amen.

What Do You Feel Passionately About?

pas·sion
( P ) Pronunciation
Key (pshn)n.
A powerful emotion, such as love, joy, hatred, or anger.
Ardent love.
Strong sexual desire; lust.
The object of such love or desire.
Boundless enthusiasm: His skills as a player don't quite match his passion for the game.
The object of such enthusiasm: Soccer is her passion.
An abandoned display of emotion, especially of anger: He's
been known to fly into a passion without warning.
Passion
The sufferings of Jesus in the period following the Last Supper and including the Crucifixion, as related in the New Testament.
A narrative, musical setting, or pictorial representation of Jesus's sufferings.
Archaic. Martyrdom.
Archaic. Passivity.

pas·sion·ate
( P ) Pronunciation
Key (psh-nt)adj.
Capable of, having, or dominated by powerful
emotions: a family of passionate personalities.
Wrathful by temperament; choleric.
Marked by strong sexual desire; amorous or lustful.
Showing or expressing strong emotion; ardent: a passionate speech against injustice.
Arising from or marked by passion: a teacher who is passionate about her subject.

What do you feel passionately about?

Now that's a good question for a little lite banter. Possibly on the surface, or if you are someone other than me. My husband is a very passionate man. He will passionately discuss politics, sports, injustice...in fact, I think he could passionately discuss anything! I on the other hand am more guarded. Am I guarding my passion or the possibility that I have none? Am I afraid of getting my passion popped?

We will be beginning a new Women's Bible Study very soon. I was previewing the material and the very first question for discussion is: What do you feel passionately about?

In the context of Nehemiah, the desired response is obvious, and I tend to feel guilty on the one hand because at times my zeal for the Lord's will, His people, His name, and His holiness may be waning. On the other hand, if my zeal is at its zenith, I will feel quite self-righteous, sanctified and holy while composing my thoughts to answer...and then I have to face it: My zeal is never that lofty.

If you have read my previous posts about "The Mighty Hand of God..." or "Oh Wretched Man that I am..." you might realize my predicament. It is two-fold:

In the Mighty Hand post, I stated that if I am trusting God with my trials, casting my cares upon Him, then I am not worried or troubled, but at peace. How can you be passionate, which, according to the definition is all bound up with emotion, if you are at peace with it? When I am not trusting God with them, then I am worried, but I feel more passionate.

In the Wretched Man post, I exposed a darker side of myself. I did not bring everything to light, but just a portion. My wretched man struggles not only with the tongue, but with wrath. I have grown up with the ever present stereo type of the redhead. Part of the definition of passion is the aspect of wrath. Scriptures regarding wrath and malice and fretting pop up and tell me that this part of passion is a sin.

So on the one hand, I would tend toward passion's sin and allow anger to rule and worry to flourish. On the other hand, I might appear to be passionless by not worrying or exploding or seething.

I would say that I am passionate about my kids, step-kids, grand-daughter, parents and in-laws. I would dearly love to see them knowing and loving God; trusting Him. I have learned (see The Mighty Hand of God...) to trust God with their souls and to speak to God and to them as God gives me words and opportunity (see Evangelism... and Ezekiel's Warning...). Even as I state this I tremble that I might become complacent or seem not to care.

I am passionate about my sin. I do hate it. I love to hide it from others. I want desparately to be free of it.

I am passionate about God's truth and salvation. I hate to see it mingled with trivial side issues. I hate to see it distorted, hated, mocked, discarded, disregarded, and painted. (Then, when I go this way, I go a little too far, and I hate that I, alone handle God's truth properly!) I hate to see it hidden, especially by me.

I am passionate about my lethargy. I despise my inactivity. I loath my cowardliness. I am sickened by my lack of zeal in my private prayers and my public presence. Can it be that I am passionate about my lack of passion or about the lack of active passion?

Is passion, like love, an action and not a feeling?

blah, blah, bla...

I am learning. Everything I do does not work the way I expect it to, and sometimes the results surprize me.

I told my daughter where to find my blog, and when I asked if she made any comments, she said that you have to have a blogger account to do that. That kind of reminded me of how I got started on all this. I was at a friend's blog and when I tried to comment, it appeared that I had to set up an account, so I did.

So, I went on my blog, and tried to make a comment to several posts to see if you could do it without an account (you can). Then I thought I saw where I could delete a comment, so I worked for a long time to undo what I had done so that people would not waste time checking on comments that were really not comments. Now I see that they still appear as comments, but when you click them, it is just a notice that this comment has been deleted. I don't delete people's comments (at least I have never have). So now everyone knows what that is. I deleted my own "comments" but left a scar.

Oh wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from this body of death?

...Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The
tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It
corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire by
hell. (James 3:5-6)

1Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set
your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God.
2Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. 3For you died, and your
life is now hidden with Christ in God. 4When Christ, who is your[a]
life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory. ...8But now you must
rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and
filthy language from your lips. ...12Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and
dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness
and patience. ... 17And whatever you do, whether in word or
deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father
through him. (Colossians 3:1-4, 8, 12 &17)

How often do I need to learn about taming the tongue? There must be something I'm not getting. Oh wretched woman that I am! Who, Who can and will deliver me from this body of death and this tongue set on fire from Hell!

Thanks be to God--through Jesus Christ our Lord!

This must mean that With me it is impossible, but I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength!

If anyone knows how to put feet on this, I would appreciate it!

Rachel

Thought you could just sneak in eh?

HostRocket Hosting Coupon

The Mighty Hand of God is sometimes soft, and subtle

I Peter 5:5-11
5 Young men, in the same way be submissive to those who are older. All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, "God opposes the proud but gives grace to
the humble."[a] 6 Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. 7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
8 Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 9 Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings. 10 And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. 11 To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen.

I may be dealing with two issues here. I hope I can keep them straight.

Remember when we were in school, primarily Jr High and High School, when we were done with English, we packed up our books and went down the hall and around the corner to Math class and did Math until we were done and had to go to Social Studies or History or (argh!) Gym class.

God doesn't teach us like this. He teaches us many things all at once and as we go. I don't learn everything there is to know about humility and then move on to taming the tongue class, or Mercy 101, or Forgiveness through the Ages. Sometimes I think I have mastered something, and then I seem to have to learn it all over again. All tests are practical and some are multiple choice and true and false at the same time. Pop quizes are the norm.

So where was I...

Ah yes, I was going to talk about how a godly woman in my church this Sunday just turned a light on for me. The question in Sunday School was: What would we rather do instead of praying. MaryLee Bayly said that we would rather be talking about the situation that is troubling us, rather than giving it to God.

Is this not what I do? I go on and on about my troubles, in fact, sometimes, if I am not fussing about my troubles, I begin to think that I must not be concerned about them! However, I Peter 5:7 tells us to cast all our cares upon Him, for He careth for us. Philippians 4:6 says, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." Who can I trust with the beginning and the end? God! Who tells me to give my concerns, fears, troubles to Him? God! Who can handle all of these, and loves me? God!

What am I saying to God when I talk to Him about those things that worry me, make me afraid, and then continue to worry and talk and fuss and "fret" (see Psalm 37)? I am saying that I don't think His arm is long enough for this one. I am saying that I am the one who must figure this out, and that He is not sufficient to the task.

What am I saying to others? I am saying, hey you're on your own, do the best you can, because My God is to small for even my concerns.

So, thanks to MaryLee I have mastered this faith thing...again.

Since I thought immediately of I Peter 5:7 when MaryLee turned the light on, I happened to see the rest of that passage (above; I Peter 5:5&6). The idea of submitting to one another, and to older people, and to husbands, and to one another. Linda Stewart, also a godly woman in my church has helped me with this regarding the idea of dying to self. If I feel like I must be understood, or that someone must hear about it if they have wronged me (so that I can forgive them, by the way!), that I can die to myself, and as the following passage said, "consider others better than yourselves...look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others." How can I insist that I be understood when I am called upon to have the attitude of Christ Himself.

Philippians 2:3-11

3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain
conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. 4 Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.
5 Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: 6 Who, being in very nature[a] God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, 7 but made himself nothing, taking the very nature[b] of a servant, being
made in human likeness. 8 And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death—even death on a cross! 9 Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, 10 that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, 11 and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

Father, I will bring my cares to you, because you bid me to. Make me, then to stand firm in the faith before you, that others may see and glorify You.

The Lamb's Book of Life

20However, do not rejoice that the spirits submit to you,
but rejoice that your names are written in heaven." Luke
10:20

Revelation 21:27Nothing impure will ever
enter it, nor will anyone who does what is shameful or deceitful, but only those
whose names are written in the Lamb's book of life.

I believe that as we walk through this life, our vision is limited. We are blessed in the heavenly places, and we fight not against men, but we don't see. We see as in a glass darkly.

So, we read in the Bible that God Chose us, wrote our names in His book before the creation of the world:

4For he chose us in him before the creation of the
world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love 5he[c] predestined us to
be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and
will— 6to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the
One he loves. 7In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of
sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace 8that he lavished on us with
all wisdom and understanding. 9And he[d] made known to us
the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in
Christ, 10to be put into effect when the times will have reached their
fulfillment—to bring all things in heaven and on earth together under one head,
even Christ. Ephesians 1:4-10

So, I'm going along feeling good about knowing this....but sometimes I forget it, going along like I do, blind and focussed on the day to day. Then, twice in one week, the subject comes up again, forcing my mind to wrap around it again.

My Bible study partner brought it up. She asked if I thought that ...I can't remember her exact words, but it was something like this: Do you think that children born in Christian homes are always saved?

I have been in churches where it is a cute little saying that God does not have grandchildren. This is a cute little expression, but it has the taste of truth. The churches that commonly use this cliche are usually arminean. The idea is that you can't get to heaven on your parents' faith. I think that this is true, but we mustn't take God out of the equation...

There are also people who, although they might not say it, behave as if because I'm a Christian and am raising my kids right, they are Christian too. These people usually quote Proverbs 22:6

6 Train [a] a child in the way he should
go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.

There is truth in this as well, but also danger. We mustn't take God out of the equation.

I once asked a woman to tell me when she became a Christian. She told me it was within her mother's womb. That has thrown me off for about a year and a half!

Certainly scripture tells us that God will bless the children to several generations of the ones who love Him. It also says that He will have mercy on whom He will have mercy. He is not obligated to a Christian couple, loving and serving Him to save their child. He is also not powerless to save a child whose family for the traceable past has not known Him.

I indicated that this concept was broached twice in one week. The next time was the following Sunday when our Paster announced a couple of new pregnancies in our church. He said many things about parenthood, and one of them was that although God is sovereign in salvation (I think he remembered that) He chooses to bless the marriage bed with godly seed.

I think often, we see the children of faithful Christians come to the Lord. I think that we also very often see some of them drift away from the church and renounce the Lord. This is why in many arminean churches you hear people say that parents should get a decision for the Lord early. That way, when they drift away, they are kept secure in the arms of Jesus (once saved, always saved...if you can remember a time when you walked the aisle...)

Obviously, we see unchurched people accept Christ. This is not, afterall, a genetically based faith. We do not have a faith gene, I don't think.

So what is the answer? I think we need to remember that their names are written in the Lamb's Book of Life from before the foundation of the world. We cannot take God out of the picture! Well, who blesses the Marriage Bed? God does; He formed us in our mothers' wombs. Who wrote our names in the books before the foundation of the world? God did. Therefore, wouldn't it make sense that it is God who decides in which family to place His sheep?

The Lord bless you and keep you. The Lord make His face to shine upon you...and be gracious unto you.

Take a look at Ezekial, Jeremiah, Ezra, and others of old. So many of them lived lives that were designed by God to show His attributes. He sustained them, but showed to the Isaelites, through them, who He is: His Holiness and justice and judgement and infinite mercy and long suffering.

I wonder what they thought. I wonder if sometimes they thought they were just crazy, and then they would have days when they would say, "Oh, yah, that's what this is all about!"

You know, when John sent his disciples to Jesus to ask if He was the one, or if they should continue to watch.

I sometimes get all caught up in the here and now and forget that God knows the beginning from the end. That He will draw near to me, when my heart is humble.

I was going to comment on something, but I thought, "Nobody wants to hear that...oh, yah! Nobody will!"

OK. If the Lord has given me experiences in this life for a reason, then it is to His glory, and for the edification of or warning to the saints. (ok, ok, it might also have to do with my rebelion...but if I meant it for evil, did He not mean it for good? Will He not work all of it together for the good of those who love Him? If not for me, then for one of His other sheep.)

Safely Home

Is this the day I die?

Every now and then you read a book that really stays with you. By that I mean that it crosses your mind often during the day, causes you to think of and view certain things differently, and in rare instances, causes changes in your life itself.

Once upon a time, I read a book called Watchers by Dean Koontz. This is still on my list of favorites. I read it when I was not a child of God, and re-read it often, as recently as two years ago. This was a story of genetic engineering...gone bad. But that which stayed with me and acheived two of the three effects listed above was the good achieved by genetic engineering in the book. The dog, rather than the monster captured my heart. (The first time I read the book after becoming a Christian, I was astonished by what I previous read that did not even cause me to blink. The same could be said of another book by another author, WeaveWorld, which now nearly makes me ill to attempt to read.) When I looked at dogs, I marveled that they might be like Einstein in the book, if only... I recommended that book to everyone, and even bought one for my mother to read on the plane after visiting us from Connecticut, after my first daughter was born.

Few books hold me like that: Watchers, When the Wind Blows (James Patterson) and Spares (author unknown).

After reading Watchers, I read Dean Koontz books almost continuously, pausing only to get a college degree, give birth and read an occasional Stephen King book. None of the subsequent Koontz novels matched my expectations. The same thing happened when I read When the Wind Blows, however, it didn't take me as long to discover that that book was an exception in that author's repretoire.

I can't remember who wrote Spares, but that book was too disturbing to seek another such experience. It gripped me because of the subject matter: Cloning? No, but the humanity and sanctity of life of even the clones ("spares") who were "created" for the express purpose of providing spare parts for their original counterpart.

Pilgrim's Progress is also a book which had a profound effect on me as a new Christian and throughout my Christian walk. It was amazing to me that someone could write that stuff down like that! All of those things that I experienced, and was to experience; it is an encouragement and a challenge to me.

Recently, as already mentioned in a previous post, I read Hiding Place. Now we are getting into the realm of reaching the third effect of a really good book. The idea that a book could be used to change one's life is awesome. Corrie Ten Boom's book, I hope is the start of some changes that God is working in my life. Corrie's Dad and sister attributed everything that happened as coming from the loving hand of their Father. Her Dad thought and spoke biblically. He had an answer in and out of season. I often call this to mind and speak of His attributes and providence, especially to my family (my given mission field).

I recently finished a novel that is, I think God's reenforcement of the concept. Safely Home by Randy Alcorn is a novel about a Christian in China and his college roommate who comes to visit. The reverence that this Christian gave to Yesu (Jesus) shames me. I want to live for Jesus with abandon. I want to speak openly about Jesus and trust God to protect me or bring me home; provide for me or sustain me in want; grow the sown seed or allow the birds to snatch it away.

We have been talking alot about evangelism in our church lately. My Bible Study partner and I recently studied Mark 3 & 4. Jesus told the story of the sower who sowed seed, and some seed was eaten by birds, choked out by thorns, withered under the sun, or took root and produced a bountiful harvest.

When I plant in my garden, I plant a limited number of seeds, and I plant them in rows, exactly where I want them to grow. When I talk about Jesus and His Gospel, I do the same thing. I plant the seed in toiled soil, my family, my church, even my neighbor, because she likes to talk about God. Even so, once planted, the seed may be snatched away by birds, choked out by weeds, or scorched by the sun; in fact from my point of view, this is the usual result.

My point: If the seed planted in tilled soil grows at the will of God, then why be stingy? Why not broadast the seed like the sower in the story? Why not just toss some around where ever I go?

This is a digression of sorts, but I got there honestly: The character in the book by Randy Alcorn spoke of his Lord in and out of season. He lived in a hostile environment, and yet he sowed the seed freely in tilled soil and otherwise. Mr Ten Boom was the same.

I am not.

I want to be.

Rachel

The Hiding Place

I just got done reading The Hiding Place by Corrie ten Boom. I know, this book has been around for a long time. It could be that what I have learned was like the ticket that Corrie's Dad gave her just before getting on the train; sometimes God gives us the ticket when we need it, and not before. Now I need to be looking for how I will use what I have learned. (Remember, Rachel, that God's timing is perfect, and although you think you could have used this before; and you would not have lost it or squandered it, there are no mistakes in God's providence.)

[Just as an aside, Corrie's name is really Cornelia, which is also the name of a beautiful young woman in my church, who also has the gift of spreading the joy and love of God to those around her. She and I taught Sunday School together this year, and although I was the "teacher" and she the "assistant" I often felt that it should have been the other way around.]

I have learned a great deal from this book, and I highly recommend it. I borrowed it from my church library, and I will return it after I get as many people in my family as possible to read it, and then I think I will purchase one for my home.

Corrie's Dad and sisters Nollie and Betsy most impress me.

Her Dad answered everything according to God's wisdom and providence. There was no question or need too great for God, and Mr. ten Boom was well grounded in scripture and in the sufficiency of scripture to equip us in life and godliness.

Nollie was willing to obey God even when it meant that she (or others) could lose everything. She also taught her children this. The incident that comes to mind was when her daughter was hiding some boys in a space under the dining room table and their home was raided to get young boys for the factory. When asked where they were, the girl told them that they were under the table. The soldiers looked and finding none, they thought that the girls were fooling them, and left. Nollie wasn't home at the time, but when she heard of the incident, she said that the girls did right because, "God provides perfect protection" when we live lives of obedience.

Betsy believed God. Everything that happened to her, she saw as from her Father's hand. For example, the fleas in the concentration camp. Corrie thought that they were unbearable and could not be of God, but Betsy thanked Him for them. Later they found out that they were the reason they had so much freedom from the guards in the barracks.

Here are some things I learned from this book:

*Some knowledge is just too heavy for us to bear.

*Sometimes God gives us the ticket just when we need it.

*God honors obedience.

*When God said to give thanks in everything (repeatedly), and that all things work together for good for those who love the Lord and for those who are called according to His purpose (Romans 8), it might be that we will see the reason eventually, or maybe that that knowledge would be too heavy for us.

Most of all I am convicted of my timidity; my fear of Man. I am admonished by the lives, examples and words of these Christians to extol the mighty works of God; to ascribe to the Lord His due. What a mighty and loving Living God we serve!

To Be Berean

Acts 17:11
"Now the Bereans were of more noble character
than the Thessalonians, for they received the message with great eagerness and
examined the Scriptures every day to see if what Paul said was true."
(the Old NIV)

Hebrews 13:9
"Do not
be carried away by all kinds of strange teachings. ..."

I was actually looking for the verse that says that such are the ones who enter the house and carry away simple minded women (very loosely paraphrased so that it probably lost any semblemce of meaning).

This is the best I could come up with:

Ephesians 5:6&7
"Let no one deceive you with empty
words for because of such things God's wrath comes on those who are disobedient.
Therefore do not be parners with them."

The publicity of Terri Shiavo's problem has had many immediate and far reaching effects on myself and my family. I have not seen the end of it yet. There have been some unexpected issues spidering out from this event.

With the world's focus on Terri Schiavo and the Pope, there has been much talk lately of Roman Catholicism. There actually seems to be a certain amount of papal envy among certain evangelicals.

"Give us a king," the Isrealites said,
"that we might be like the other nations."

"Oh that we had a Leader,
that we could all sing the same songs, and say the same prayers!"

It has caused me check my pace. I have a fear of being blown about and tossed by the winds of doctrine. God has hedged me about by anchoring my mind and heart on the solid Rock...and yet. Yet I need to always turn to Scripture and pray that God will continue to keep me true to His word and to hide me in the cleft of His rock. "Good and upright is the Lord; therefore He instructs sinners in His Ways. He guides the humble in what is right and teaches them His Way." (Psalm 25:8&9) (God keep me ever close to You! Ephesions 3:14-19 is my prayer.)

At times, the same source will give contradictory messages , it seems to me, on this subject. I am kind of a black and white type of person. (like Feeble Mind in Pilgrim's Progess) If Roman Catholicism is in error because it teaches trust in works and Mary, then it is wrong. If it is wrong about salvation, it doesn't matter that it is right about abortion and righteous zeal in defending the unborn or unwanted.

I have been spending a considerable amount of time reading a certain blog. I was reading it before Terri's predicament became an intense issue in the national spotlight. In this blog, Catholicism became an issue in focus at the end and for some time after Terri died. I began to feel myself very conflicted.

There are some who call on the name of the Lord, who do not belong to the Lord. I know that. Jesus said that at the judgement some will say to Him, "lord, Lord," but He will say to them, "I never knew you." We are told to test the spirits and not to be deceived. This is kind of tricky in the Protestant world. There are some who are very sly in distorting the Scriptures.

I was especially torn by the following exchange between a woman named "Tess" and a reformed pastor (my Pastor):

In Response to: The sounds outside Woodside Hospice...(BaylyBlog: timbayly.worldmagblog.com/timbayly/)

I'm a Catholic, and I love Mary. Why? Because Jesus did and I'm
going to follow His perfect example.

It deeply saddens me that you see
the Rosary as heresy, especially because you must be aware of its scriptural and
contemplative nature.

I hope one day your heart softens to the mother of
Our Lord and you will know the truth by its fruits.

May God bless you
and keep you.
Tess
Posted by Tess at April 3, 2005 03:38 AM

To which Tim Responded:

Dear Tess,

I love Mary too, and have no hesitation
saying so. What a blessed woman so perfectly demonstrating the nature of
biblical womanhood. And how she suffered as she watched her Son live and die!
All Christians through all ages will call her blessed, which I do.

Nor
do I believe the rosary is heretical, in and of itself. Heresy is a doctrine
that strikes at the heart of true faith so I'd reserve that charge for the
deepest error I see in Roman Catholicism--her denial of the Biblical doctrine of
salvation. And here I would quite predictably point to the very area of doctrine
where your own Council of Trent anathematized our Protestant fathers--the
doctrine of justification by faith alone, but not faith by itself. Based upon
the teaching of Scripture, I am convinced that the Roman Catholic church
systematically leads the souls under her care to believe and act as if the work
of Christ is insufficient for salvation, and must be completed by our own works
also.

Thank you for the kind and gracious spirit in which you have
sought to rebuke me. May the Holy Spirit do the work in our hearts that will
bring true unity to the Household of Faith, the Church of the Living God which
is the pillar and foundation of truth.

Under His Blood,

Tim
Bayly
Posted by Tim Bayly at April 3, 2005 08:14 AM

And Tess responded:

As a Catholic I know that the only way that I can be saved is
through the suffering and sacrifice of Our Lord. It was His work alone, that
broke open the gates of Heaven, and it is in Him that I put my hope of
salvation.

I am not worthy to enter Heaven, nothing I can do can ever
earn the infinate salvation of my Beloved. I am merely a breath of dust or a
blade of grass next to His Living Waters.

But I also know that if I
behave as though I don't know my Jesus, that he won't force me to love and obey
Him. And what is the act of love of God, but docile obedience to the will of
Jesus, the Father and the Holy Spirit?

What child could ever earn the
love of her Father? None. Because it is given freely and fully.

Glory to
God in the Highest.

Love Tess
Posted by Tess at April 4,
2005 09:07 AM

(At this point, it appears that there is a discrepancy between what Tess believes, where her faith lies, and what she has been taught. Read on...)

Pastor Tim replies:

Dear Tess, Although I don't understand your comment about God
forcing love (and therefore can't say that I agree with it), I do want to say
publicly that your confession of faith above is very beautiful and a model for
all those who trust only in the Blood of Jesus Christ. You have strengthened my
own faith this day and I thank you for that.
Posted by Tim Bayly
at April 4, 2005 03:51 PM

Tess (revealing much):

God bless you and all your work for Terri. I truly believe that
you are an instrument of Christ.

All I meant about the "force" idea is
that God won't ever take away our free will, if we turn our hearts away from
Him, then He will accept our choice, even though it grieves Him.

It's our choice to either accept Jesus and love Him, or to turn and sin. His arms are
always open wide, it is ours that can close and push Him away.

Good works aren't the ticket to Heaven, we could _never_ earn that holy blessing.
They are just the manifestation of our love and obedience to Jesus Christ, the
Father and the Holy Spirit.

Love Tess
Posted by Tess at
April 5, 2005 07:40 PM

Then, later, provoked by some people's refusal to accept the veneration of Mary, she revealed where her true faith lies by responding thus:

In Response to: As Close as we can get (BaylyBlog)

Oh, my poor lost brothers and sisters in Christ. The Mother of
Christ is at the center of Redemption because she freely accepted God's will to
bear Our Lord. She's no goddess, she's just a woman who was totally passive to
God's will and God's love, as we should all be.

She is the new Eve, but
Christ is the new Adam, and as Adam was the head of his family, so Christ is the
head of the Church. Mary could not surplant Him or "outrank" Him. He is God,
Lord, our Creator, Redeemer, Father, King and our Saviour.

What graces was Mary given as she nursed our little Jesus at her breast, kissed His head,
caressed His little face... She was His _mama_ with all that it entails. Imagine
watching over the Christ Child as He slept, perhaps His little arms wrapped
around some toy He made with His earthly papa that day. Maybe His knees were
grazed by a fall, kissed better by Mary with her tears washing His hurt.

If only we could love Him as Mary could, what a gift to be Christ's
mama! What blessings would flow from that ministration to the Body of Our Lord.

Please, I beg you, open your hearts and feel God's infinite love of the
gift of Himself as a human baby, boy and then man. Don't turn away from the
woman that God chose throughout time and space to love and care for His Body and
Spirit.

Don't say that you don't 'need' Mary, when she was sweet enough
for Our Lord. Please, for the sake of your souls, love Mary as Christ did. Be
humble enough to follow His example.

Please, I _beg_ you, be obedient to
Jesus Christ.

Love Tess
Posted by: Tess at April 7, 2005
09:31 PM

Now I realize that by God's grace, He does save some in the Catholic church. However it would seem that if one were convicted of truth, one would leave a false church, though.

It would not be hard to find, because we know the date of the Pope's death, but I have spent too much time on this already:

It was stated by someone who watched the funeral of Pope John Paul II that his soul was committed repeatedly into the hands of Mary.

Where did his hope lie?

If the issue is, "On what or whom am I trusting for salvation?" then how can Catholicism be called anything but heresy? How can we "stand with our Catholic Brothers in the cause of life" if they are not our Brothers? Would this be "unequally yoked?"

Exactly what do we call freedom, and when do we call it heresy?

Ezekail's Warning to Israel, and to me

In my last entry, I may have sounded a little trite. I don't think I relinquished my responsibility to be a witness to Christ, a light in this dark world; but, as many who believe in God's sovereignty may appear to others, I may have appeared trite...smug. I was struck down just a couple days after I posted that entry. I heard a message on the radio which referenced Ezekiel 3.
I had never heard this passage before. I am undone! This passage indeed indicates that it is between God and the hearer of the Word whether salvation is the result, but the responsibility to speak is heavy...not to be taken lightly. As I said before: woe to me if I speak not, no, but WOE TO ME if I speak not!
Read for yourself. What do you think?

Ezekiel 3:4 He then said to me: "Son of man, go now to the house of Israel and speak my words to them. 5 You are not being sent to a people of obscure speech and difficult language, but to the house of Israel- 6 not to many peoples of obscure speech and difficult language, whose words you cannot understand. Surely if I had sent you to them, they would have listened to you.
(not to the stranger, necessarily, but to the family under my own roof...my own flesh and blood!--RP)
7 But the house of Israel is not willing to listen to you because they are not willing to listen to me, for the whole house of Israel is hardened and obstinate. 8 But I will make you as unyielding and hardened as they are. 9 I will make your forehead like the hardest stone, harder than flint. Do not be afraid of them or terrified by them, though they are a rebellious house."
10 And he said to me, "Son of man, listen carefully and take to heart all the words I speak to you. 11 Go now to your countrymen in exile and speak to them. Say to them, 'This is what the Sovereign LORD says,' whether they listen or fail to listen."
12 Then the Spirit lifted me up, and I heard behind me a loud rumbling sound-May the glory of the LORD be praised in his dwelling place!- 13 the sound of the wings of the living creatures brushing against each other and the sound of the wheels beside them, a loud rumbling sound. 14 The Spirit then lifted me up and took me away, and I went in bitterness and in the anger of my spirit, with the strong hand of the LORD upon me. 15 I came to the exiles who lived at Tel Abib near the Kebar River. And there, where they were living, I sat among them for seven days-overwhelmed.

Warning to Israel 16 At the end of seven days the word of the LORD came to me: 17 "Son of man, I have made you a watchman for the house of Israel; so hear the word I speak and give them warning from me. 18 When I say to a wicked man, 'You will surely die,' and you do not warn him or speak out to dissuade him from his evil ways in order to save his life, that wicked man will die for his sin, and I will hold you accountable for his blood. 19 But if you do warn the wicked man and he does not turn from his wickedness or from his evil ways, he will die for his sin; but you will have saved yourself.
20 "Again, when a righteous man turns from his righteousness and does evil, and I put a stumbling block before him, he will die. Since you did not warn him, he will die for his sin. The righteous things he did will not be remembered, and I will hold you accountable for his blood. 21 But if you do warn the righteous man not to sin and he does not sin, he will surely live because he took warning, and you will have saved yourself."
22 The hand of the LORD was upon me there, and he said to me, "Get up and go out to the plain, and there I will speak to you." 23 So I got up and went out to the plain. And the glory of the LORD was standing there, like the glory I had seen by the Kebar River, and I fell facedown.
24 Then the Spirit came into me and raised me to my feet. He spoke to me and said: "Go, shut yourself inside your house. 25 And you, son of man, they will tie with ropes; you will be bound so that you cannot go out among the people. 26 I will make your tongue stick to the roof of your mouth so that you will be silent and unable to rebuke them, though they are a rebellious house. 27 But when I speak to you, I will open your mouth and you shall say to them, 'This is what the Sovereign LORD says.' Whoever will listen let him listen, and whoever will refuse let him refuse; for they are a rebellious house.

I have nothing to add.

Evangelism Under the Sovereignty of God

(This is not so much a question, although if I am on the wrong track, please be bold to admonish).

I do not believe that you can push someone away from God if He is drawing them.

I base this opening statement on scripture as well as personal experience. Jesus said that no one comes to him except the Father draws him. A sermon is preached, a tragedy occurs, a Bible is read and one person, convicted of sin turns and cries out to God while another is left unaffected.

For years, I struggled with my husband regarding spiritual truths. For years I failed daily regarding winning him over with any semblence of a gentle and quiet spirit. Then, suddenly the things he used to pick apart, he is at peace with. Suddenly those things he hated, he loves. Did I finally convince him? No, I don't think so. Who changed his heart? Only God can change a heart. Only God can bring to life that which is dead.

God saved my husband in spite of me.

I do, however believe that you can shirk your God-given responsibilities. It is very fair to say that my lack of peace during these times was sinful. My defensiveness and arguementative attitude did not grace the Gospel. Shame on me. Did I interfere with God's plans?...slow Him down? I am too human to answer that question. I do know that I repented of these things. They were not right, but I don't think that I thwarted God's plans.

If I have been given a message, and a person to whom to give it and I do it, however lamely, I have done what I am supposed to do. I am absolutely positive that Jonah's message to the Ninevites was less than stirring. He did not want to give the message, and did not desire a positive effect. And yet they repented in droves!

If God is drawing them, they will come at God's call. Just like Esther observed, if I do not speak, He will save His people, and He will use someone else; and woe, woe to me!

If God is not drawing them, no matter how eloquently or poorly I may have spoken, they will not come. If I speak, I have done what I had the responsibility to do. You and I might think that I pushed them away, or that my timing was off, or that my message was too soft or too hard, and I let a fish get away.

More often than not, it is not that my message is too soft or too hard or too early or too late, but that it is not.

God has given us two really good girls. These days the pretty good kids are not in prison, expelled from school or pregnant. I've got really good, trustworthy girls, and I am thankful for them.

As a Christian parent, I have failed in many ways. The most prominent is that I did not instruct when we arose and when we sat down and when we went along the way (you know, all the time) Deuteronomy 11:19 Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. I was silent when I should have spoken. The holiness and reality of God, I have not made obvious and extolled. There are life lessons, and reasons for ways I think and decisions I've made and things that I stay away from, that I think out on the inside, but I don't speak them out. When my kids were under 10 years old, they heard it a lot more; I lost some really critical years in discouragement-induced silence, and now no one wants to hear it. That's my point of view.

What does God see? HE sees the beginning and the end. He is the beginning and the end.

I can only go from here, crying out to God, my Savior. I can talk about God's ways and laws and decrees and the depth of the wonder of Him when we sit at home or ride in the van or go to bed and when we get up. That's what I can do, with God's grace. What I can't do is change their hearts. Only God can do that.

HOSPITALITY: Biblical mandate or gift? To the Brethern or to the Stranger?

If God said it, I want to do it, but what did God say?

Am I called to invite well-fed, well-loved brothers to my house after church, and in return go to their house the next week after church? Is that what it's all about? I'm not saying that's not a nice thing. Actually it is. It is a very nice practice; very sweet fellowship.

In the following passage, hospitality is mentioned in the context of hosting traveling preachers or missionaries. It not only praises the brother who has shown hospitality to the traveling preacher, but also points out the wrong done to the church by the one who refuses to welcome them. THis can also be found in Acts when Lydia compels the apostle's company to come to her house. Did she then begin to host a house church?

III John 5-11
5Dear friend, you are faithful in what you are doing for the brothers, even though they are strangers to you. 6They have told the church about your love. You will do well to send them on their way in a manner worthy of God. 7It was for the sake of the Name that they went out, receiving no help from the pagans. 8We ought therefore to show hospitality to such men so that we may work together for the truth.
9I wrote to the church, but Diotrephes, who loves to be first, will have nothing to do with us. 10So if I come, I will call attention to what he is doing, gossiping maliciously about us. Not satisfied with that, he refuses to welcome the brothers. He also stops those who want to do so and puts them out of the church.
11Dear friend, do not imitate what is evil but what is good. Anyone who does what is good is from God. Anyone who does what is evil has not seen God.

In this passage, the context would indicate that the hospitality is in the form of the church meeting in Gaius' house. I think this can also be found in Acts, in fact, I believe that most new testament churches met in homes.

Romans 16:23Gaius, whose hospitality I and the whole church here enjoy, sends you his greetings. Erastus, who is the city's director of public works, and our brother Quartus send you their greetings.

In this passage from Matthew, Jesus indicates that hospitality is to be extended to the stranger, not the friend; not the one who can pay you back with reciprocal hospitality or influence because of their attendance or position at your church. This kind of hospitality won't get you a reputation of being hospitable. The act is quite possibly unnoticed and "insignificant" and the stranger is unknown:

Matthew 25:35
35For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in,

In Romans 12, we are told to "Practice hospitality." This is a simple command, a two word sentence in my translation (the old NIV). The context, however, reveals a depth to the hospitality, that shakes the foundations of my meaning for the word. It specifies bretheren in need, people of low reputation, and enemies.

Romans 12: 9-21
9Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. 10Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. 11Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. 12Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. 13Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality.
14Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. 15Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. 16Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.
17Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. 18If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. 20On the contrary: “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.” 21Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Another passage (not sure where), I'm sure hositality is listed with other "gifts" given to the redeemed by the Spirit.

I have heard some say that they were raised with their house full of strangers. For these people, hospitality may be a matter of obedience, or simply a continuation of a custom. I simply have never heard hospitality stressed in church.

I was raised in a closed home. We had few fisitors, and visited others seldom. If I am to "do hospitality" it is not a trivial matter for me. I have hurdles to overcome. I have issues to work out.

Bare naked and exposed for what I am: proud and inhospitable...God help me.

Propriety in Prayer

Keeping in mind that my ideas and opinions are but dung, I am trying to reconcile some of God's ideas here; not to justify my own behaviour, but to conform myself to His will.

Look at what it says in I Corinthians 11:3 - 16 (NIV quote included below). Does this mean that our parents' generation was Biblically correct in saying that my brother's long hair was a disgrace? (verse 14) Does this mean that the Minnenites are correct when their women wear head coverings? Does this mean that Pentecostals are correct when their women do not cut their hair? (verses 5-6 & 13-15)

Why do we seem to disregard this scripture?

What, if any connection is there with I Timothy 2:11-15? In light of this passage, would "leading" a corporate prayer in church or in a prayer meeting be considered having authority over a man?

Tim Bayly said:
Addressing the matter of propriety in prayer, the Apostle Paul again emphasizes this order: “For man does not originate from woman, but woman from man; for indeed man was not created for the woman's sake, but woman for the man's sake” (1 Corinthians 11:8,9, NAS95).
http://timbayly.worldmagblog.com/timbayly/archives/2005_01.html1/3/2005 Sexuality; Scripture's Clarity & Simplicity

1 Corinthians 11:3-16 (http://www.biblegateway.com)
3Now I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God. 4Every man who prays or prophesies with his head covered dishonors his head. 5And every woman who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors her head–it is just as though her head were shaved. 6If a woman does not cover her head, she should have her hair cut off; and if it is a disgrace for a woman to have her hair cut or shaved off, she should cover her head. 7A man ought not to cover his head,[b] since he is the image and glory of God; but the woman is the glory of man. 8For man did not come from woman, but woman from man; 9neither was man created for woman, but woman for man. 10For this reason, and because of the angels, the woman ought to have a sign of authority on her head. 11In the Lord, however, woman is not independent of man, nor is man independent of woman. 12For as woman came from man, so also man is born of woman. But everything comes from God. 13Judge for yourselves: Is it proper for a woman to pray to God with her head uncovered? 14Does not the very nature of things teach you that if a man has long hair, it is a disgrace to him, 15but that if a woman has long hair, it is her glory? For long hair is given to her as a covering. 16If anyone wants to be contentious about this, we have no other practice–nor do the churches of God.

1 Timothy 2:11-15 (http://www.biblegateway.com)
11A woman should learn in quietness and full submission. 12I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she must be silent. 13For Adam was formed first, then Eve. 14And Adam was not the one deceived; it was the woman who was deceived and became a sinner. 15But women[a] will be saved[b] through childbearing–if they continue in faith, love and holiness with propriety.

So, what do you think? What was the Holy Spirit saying to people through the ages in these passages (especially regarding hair). If this is true, should I cancel my nest hair appointment? What about public prayer: should a woman lead a prayer out loud in church?

Rachel