...For Just such a time as this.

This is the story I told Greg at Planned Parenthood:

Esther 4:6-16 6 So Hathach went out to Mordecai in the open square of the city in front of the king's gate. 7 Mordecai told him everything that had happened to him, including the exact amount of money Haman had promised to pay into the royal treasury for the destruction of the Jews. 8 He also gave him a copy of the text of the edict for their annihilation, which had been published in Susa, to show to Esther and explain it to her, and he told him to urge her to go into the king's presence to beg for mercy and plead with him for her people.

9 Hathach went back and reported to Esther what Mordecai had said. 10 Then she instructed him to say to Mordecai, 11 "All the king's officials and the people of the royal provinces know that for any man or woman who approaches the king in the inner court without being summoned the king has but one law: that he be put to death. The only exception to this is for the king to extend the gold scepter to him and spare his life. But thirty days have passed since I was called to go to the king."

12 When Esther's words were reported to Mordecai, 13 he sent back this answer: "Do not think that because you are in the king's house you alone of all the Jews will escape. 14 For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father's family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this?"

15 Then Esther sent this reply to Mordecai: 16 "Go, gather together all the Jews who are in Susa, and fast for me. Do not eat or drink for three days, night or day. I and my maids will fast as you do. When this is done, I will go to the king, even though it is against the law. And if I perish, I perish."

This is the story we did in Sunday School today:

Acts 8:26-35: 26 Now an angel of the Lord said to Philip, "Go south to the road—the desert road—that goes down from Jerusalem to Gaza." 27 So he started out, and on his way he met an Ethiopian eunuch, an important official in charge of all the treasury of Candace, queen of the Ethiopians. This man had gone to Jerusalem to worship, 28 and on his way home was sitting in his chariot reading the book of Isaiah the prophet. 29 The Spirit told Philip, "Go to that chariot and stay near it."
30 Then Philip ran up to the chariot and heard the man reading Isaiah the prophet. "Do you understand what you are reading?" Philip asked.

31 "How can I," he said, "unless someone explains it to me?" So he invited Philip to come up and sit with him.

32 The eunuch was reading this passage of Scripture:
"He was led like a sheep to the slaughter,
and as a lamb before the shearer is silent,
so he did not open his mouth.
33 In his humiliation he was deprived of justice.
Who can speak of his descendants?
For his life was taken from the earth."[e]

34 The eunuch asked Philip, "Tell me, please, who is the prophet talking about, himself or someone else?" 35 Then Philip began with that very passage of Scripture and told him the good news about Jesus.

In the Sunday School lesson, the wording went something like: Now Philip knew why he had been brought to this place at this time...

Why have you been brought to this place at this time? There are people living across the street that could very well be living across town or across the country. There are people working with you that could very well be working for another company, in another department, in another town, in another country. Heck, you could be working from home, but God has prevented it.

Do you believe that God is sovereign in salvation? Do you believe that He directs your path? Do you believe that He has saved you unto good works prepared in advance for you?

Read with me the Word of the Lord from Ezekiel 3:4-11

4 He then said to me: "Son of man, go now to the house of Israel and speak my words to them. 5 You are not being sent to a people of obscure speech and difficult language, but to the house of Israel- 6 not to many peoples of obscure speech and difficult language, whose words you cannot understand. Surely if I had sent you to them, they would have listened to you. 7 But the house of Israel is not willing to listen to you because they are not willing to listen to me, for the whole house of Israel is hardened and obstinate. 8 But I will make you as unyielding and hardened as they are. 9 I will make your forehead like the hardest stone, harder than flint. Do not be afraid of them or terrified by them, though they are a rebellious house."

10 And he said to me, "Son of man, listen carefully and take to heart all the words I speak to you. 11 Go now to your countrymen in exile and speak to them. Say to them, 'This is what the Sovereign LORD says,' whether they listen or fail to listen."

My mind is like a seive: Only the chunks remain.

You might recall when I was struggling with how to love people who are displaying behaviours that are contrary to my notion of appropriate behaviour.

My mind is like a seive: Only the chunks remain. So God has to keep pouring that milk through until it turns into cottage cheese and some of it sticks.

I meet them all the time, these people who don't behave. They belong to God, and they belong to the prince of this world. They might be someone as distant as the television or internet. They might be a stranger on the street, a student at the local high school or university. They might be as close as my neighbors, co-workers, children, step-children or other reletives, distant or close.

Enough of that!

I learned a little something last night about how to react. It was a little milky, so much of it washed right through. Here's what stayed: Talk to God.

My kids and I were looking for a graphic to apply the finishing touch to Holly's graduation announcement. She decided on a symbol of wisdom. She has long been an enthusiast of greek mythology-- she is the one who introduced me to the story of Icarus, which might turn out to be ironic-- so she was looking for a graphic of Athena.

I was feeling uncomfortable with the idea of applying a goddess icon to her announcement, and I was trying to decide whether this was silly or not. Glen called and we talked. I mentioned it to him, and he acted like it was trivial either way, and I should do what I want. I hung up with him, and while Holly was in the other room, I talked it over with God. God gave me peace in that He is not afraid of Athena, and Holly is not a Christian. I spoke honestly to Holly about my discomfort with this. She assured me that she does not worship Athena.

For what it is worth, and I have done many things wrong, this was an opportunity to have a genuine conversation with my daughter. It was also an opportunity to have a Father-daughter conversation with my God.

The bottom line is the peace that He gave me over this, and I am looking at other instances in a different light.

Greg @ Planned Parenthood

Greg is an active police officer who was serving as a guard at Planned
Parenthood today, divorced from his own convictions in any way. He
claims Jesus as his Saviour, but right now he is on the job. Someone
else is paying him right now.

It blows my mind to be involved in something that God is doing.

...doesn't it you?

I don't want to spend too much time on this, so I'll just give a few highlights.

Greg was a new guard. I've never seen him, and neither has Carole. So I hollered "Hi" and settled in. He approached me.

His name is Greg. He likes the hymns "Nothing but the Blood" and "Old Rugged Cross." His grandmother used to take him to church. He has been a Christian for 7 years.

He is on the police force and sometimes policemen have to do what they don't like to do. (Not on PP payroll? Police are apparently commissioned for protective duties like this.)

When I left, David and Josh were still talking to him.

I believe that God is opening doors for us to proclaim the Gospel!

Not so much alone at Planned Parenthood

I have said that I have been at Planned Parenthood alone. I want to say that lately that has not been the case (except the first Thursday in April; that rainy day... see the Rain/Impatience/Regret post below). I want to express inexpressible emotions to the following people (I'm not sure they want their full names on the world wide web):

David (Anna's husband and Carver's dad)
Scott (Shannon's husband)
Lucas (off now to see his parents in Africa)
Josh (I think I got this name right--might be Jake, he is a friend of Lucas)
Andrew (plays stringed instruments in our praise band)
Josh (teaches Latin @ a certain state university and Greek @ REPC)
Bob (the official Match Maker of CGS)
Alex (assisted Bob this Thursday...will he be the next match?)
Jennifer (Steve's wife; she's a mother-to-be with moxey)
Carole (David's wife, and long time PP protester)
David (Carole's husband and Disc Jockey)

There was a guy last summer when I was coming later and staying in my van. He would ride up on his bike, lean it against a tree and either stand or kneel and pray for a short period of time. He always came alone after the others had gone.

Dave and Tim have been there, too; and Shauna (Eli's mom). My hero, Glen, has been there several times, too.

This week there was a retired policeman; I don't remember his name. He wasn't a Catholic, and although he said he had a Bible at home he sucked the words off the page when I let him read mine. When I talked about the wrath of God rising up, he thought I was talking about "Left Behind."

(I'm only there for one hour each Thursday, so I can only say who is there when I am.)

God gave Carole a transition into a new house and bookkeeping blues in order to prevent her from going to Planned Parenthood as she thought she ought...was this to give me some alone-with-God-at-Planned-Parenthood-time for seasoning? Sorry, Carole.

I hope I didn't forget anyone, and if I do, let me know.

I have often thought that from 10:00 am until 5:00 pm on Thurdays the killing continues, but there is no one proclaimiing God's Word of whom I am aware.

Another thing that ocurred to me: A couple of Tuesdays ago, there was a national wear-an-anti-abortion-t-shirt day (Christ Centered Pro-Life link on the sidebar for shirts) and Carole asked if people would come to PP and stand with her. Apparently on Tuesdays, women come in for their screening. They were coming in by the car-load! I went during the non-peak time (my lunch break 10 - 11am) and was able to talk to someone that day (Sarah; just there to support a friend; goes to ECC). She was very curious about why I was there, since I was (can you guess) all alone. On Tuesdays there are no people on the sidewalk, but the parking lot is very busy.

Please, if I have forgotten anyone, and you are him/her or if you know their names, then leave a comment here and I will edit this post to include them. Also, if you are on this list and want to boldly include your full name, let me know. Conversly, if you want your name removed, let me know.

It is encouraging to stand with Christian brothers and proclaim the Word of God in this dark world. It is not gratitude I want to express, for it is not my place. It is I think fellowship, or the Tie that Binds that wells up within me.

Erica Said...

Re: Gary, Evangelism, God and our words

Erica said...
I think what was said was what was meant to be said. God's in control. If our words made him commit his life to Christ, where would our trust be? In our own words? We must trust Him. You spoke to him about the first thing we must realize before salvation. Let God do the work.
5/04/2006 9:51 PM


I sometimes spend long periods of time going over and over conversations in my mind. Mostly I listen to the really sharp answers and come-backs I could have made. When it comes to being Christ's witness, or evangelizing, I think of the things I should have said, but couldn't think of at the time.

I thank God for faithful sisters who will help me to see the hand of God, reminding me of my God's great power.

When we started having mid-week evening Bible studies last year, we were talking about this and Joyce said that probably God did not have anything for me to say at the time, because He did not give me the words.

Whoa! I had never thought of that! On the one hand, that could be used as a huge cop-out. "Oh, God didn't give me any words, so I don't have to say anything."..really meaning, "I'm too chicken to say anything, and I don't want to offend anyone, and, that's just not my thing." On the other hand, Scripture backs this up. If I'm out there, making myself available, in obedience engaging people in discussions, well grounded and studied in Scripture, and God constricts my throat, then, He was stopping me from spouting off with my own words.

I was going on I Peter 3:15: "15 But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have."

Joyce, however was going on what Jesus told his disciples in Matthew 10:18 - 20: "18 On my account you will be brought before governors and kings as witnesses to them and to the Gentiles. 19 But when they arrest you, do not worry about what to say or how to say it. At that time you will be given what to say, 20 for it will not be you speaking, but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you."

I could say that Gary wasn't a governor or king, but then in Luke 12:11 & 12, Jesus put it this way:  11 "When you are brought before synagogues, rulers and authorities, do not worry about how you will defend yourselves or what you will say, 12 for the Holy Spirit will teach you at that time what you should say."

Gary was in a position, in a sense, of authority.

All of this makes me think deeply about this business of speaking. Why sometimes, does my tongue stick to the roof of my mouth, and my heart hammer so hard and fast that I can't hear myself think? It this the Lord shutting my mouth against my own words, or is it simply the fear of man. Only recently have I had words of God come out of my mouth without me planning them (Thanks be to God!) and that was at Planned Parenthood.

Remember Hannah, who for a long time longed for a child. God could have opened her womb at any time. In His perfect wisdom, He perfected her prayer through waiting. Moses, could not go straight from the Pharoah's palace to lead the Israelites out of Egypt, but God perfected him. God could have given Abraham his promised son at anytime, but waited so that Abraham fully trusted Him through waiting, and stumbling.

I would think my own words clever if I were to be an effective witness. I would think I am a saviour if I were to prevent an abortion, lead someone to the Lord, or anything else.

So God has had me at Planned Parenthood, where the battle line are drawn and sometimes obvious, sometimes hidden. He has had me there with my throat constricted and unable to talk, alone sometimes, quietly reading Scripture, and generally feeling like I don't know why I'm there and what I'm doing... Only knowing that He has called me there.

In my weakness, His strength is perfected. I am totally dependent on Him. Now I read Scripture more boldly, and stand firm as cars drive around me. But, I still know that I look like a fool, and it is not my boldness, but boldness in Christ.

Finally He gave me words, and I think, "I'm cool...Yah!" So then he puts me out there alone in the rain again. Then I realize anew that it is He who has the whole world and the hearts of men in His hands.

I Peter 4:10-11 "10 Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms. 11 If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen."

Also, to fill out the previously cited passage:
I Peter 3:15-17 "15 But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, 16 keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander. 17 It is better, if it is God's will, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil."

Gary G @ Planned Parenthood

A new guard at Planned Parenthood today.

His name is Gary and I think his last name starts with a G. His is retiring from law enforcement and he is just starting up in the private sector. Today was his first day at Planned Parenthood, because someone called in sick.

(There is nowhere we can flee from your spirit Oh Lord. You have sovereignty over even microbes!)

He has no opinion on or off the record regarding abortion, he just wants everybody to remain safe.

(Gary, everyone will not remain safe here today; people will die here today.)

He "knows" Jesus and he is certain that Jesus has an opinion about "this."

(Gary said that without a hint of a shudder.)

Gary says he is not a bad person, and he seemed uncomfortable when I told him I am, and that I have been forgiven. He wasn't going to agree that I am bad.

Dear God,
You who alone have made this man, and know his heart. I pray that you would use the feeble words of your servant and turn Gary's heart from stone to flesh. Make him painfully aware of his depravity and grant him your faith and repentance.
In the name of your Son, Jesus Christ,
Amen

Evangelism: To Do or not To Do

I have tried to rewind the discussion of last week's Bible study to determine how we came to discuss evangelism...

...Were we diverted by our efforts to protect our idols from exposure by reviewing the idols of the culture in which we live? Thanks be to God, who is able to do more than we would ever ask or imagine! As we attempted to cover our idols, He used our attempt to expose another idol: Fear of Man (aka: Pride).

Only in Scripture do I see the admonition to live the life of a gentle and quiet spirit so that they may be won without words. Only in Scripture do I see the admonition to let our light so shine before men that they may see our good works and glorify our Father in heaven.

Nowhere in Scripture do I see either examples of or commands to keep our mouths shut in order to witness. The shining light is not to the exclusion of proclaiming, verbally, God's truth. The gentle and quiet spirit passage actually does tell the wife of an unbelieving husband to keep her mouth shut, but that is pretty specific.

I don't know about anyone else, but I can find more excuses on my own to keep my mouth shut, and generally need a kick in the butt to get me going. I think that Jesus called this being ashamed of Him before man, and said of that person (me) that He, then would be ashamed of him before His Father.

A dear sister told about when she was a new Christian and she was so filled with the joy of her Savior that from a certain perspective, she might have been seen as "overly zealous". She talked her friend's ear off until her friend didn't want to hear any more. We feel like a fool, and as we look back, we think, " how foolish I was, how could I have behaved so foolishly!" But through whose eyes are we seeing this? Not through the eyes of Christ, I think, but through the eyes of flesh. Would not Jesus have looked at His servant lovingly to see her talking so foolishly to her friend? And wasn't it the Sword of the Spirit who divided her and her friend, causing her friend to all the more vehemently reject the message, and the messenger with it? Would our sister also have taken credit for it if her friend had received with joy the message of salvation and kissed the Son? No, then why would she take the credit for the rejection of the Precious Blood of Jesus?

If anyone understands the fear of man, it is I.

We also need to guard our hearts against pride. It is not to hear our own words or to acheive quotas or goals that we do this; although, I believe He will even use this, while also disciplining His arrogant servant. It is out of obedience to our Master. He calls us to it, and will enable us to do it. He calls us to sow the seed. We need to trust Him to make it grow, or not.

Something to think about...

Something to think about:

God struck Ananius and Sophyra dead for lying,
(under grace)

but let David live.
(under the law)

I hugged my daughter today...

April 6, 2006

I hugged Lydia last night before we went to bed. This morning when I hugged her, she was taller than I!

Looking at myself through other windows.

From a conversation between my husband and his oldest daughter:

Husband: She (my daughter) gets something in her head and won't let it go.
Oldest daughter: She gets it from her mother.

From a woman that I am just in love with and whom I admire more than I can say:

I guess I'm just intimidated by you.

I Peter 3
1 Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. 4 Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. 5 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, 6 like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.

God, Give me a gentle and quiet spirit by which I will reflect your assurance and mortify my will, my image, and my self. Give me grace to follow my husband with joy and regard my reputation with abandon.
In Jesus name,
Amen

Rain/Impatience/Regret

421 South College Ave.

1505 West Second Street.

A world apart. Just down the street, really.

Why must I go? It was rainy today. There was a meeting here at work. I was not included in this meeting about online classes, but to leave at 9:00 would be to leave my post unattended. To insist that I leave right on time would be to insist that God requires my presence in order to accomplish His will, I think. I also have obligations to my employer. So I waited. I talked to God about it. I trust Him, and I don't think I was denying Him to wait. Abortions happen all day long, apparently at Planned Parenthood.

If I were there to save lives, I would be arrested every week. I would invade the no-fly zone. I would be in the faces of the people there. I would block the way, pleading for reason and justice.

Your purpose defines your activity. Your belief defines your purpose.

I am not there to save lives. I have talked to God about this. He calls me there so I go. He knows who I am, and He calls me anyways. Good and upright is the Lord, and He teaches me His way for I am a sinner (Ps.25). I am available, and last week, He taught me, I think that He will give me words when He wants me to talk. I am there, like Ezekiel, to proclaim God's truth; to warn of coming wrath; to offer the way of Salvation. If God would use me to save a life or to convict of sin and point to Him, I am there.

(Man, that sounds so much like a cop out! God! Search me and know my heart. Create in me a clean and steadfast heart. Reveal any wicked way in me. Lead me on the path of righteousness for your name's sake!)

After my time of worship, I feel close to God. I feel cleansed. I feel like I am saturated with God; through and through and dripping. Sometimes I walk away talking to God or singing to Him still. I seriously feel like my feet are not touching the ground sometimes.

After last week, I looked forward to Thursday morning. I'm sure this is NOT right. Maybe that's why He brought the rain, and sent me there late, and alone. (Alone times at Planned Parenthood are always clarifying times.) I think, if I were honest, I would think that I thought people paid attention to ME last week... I would think that the way I behaved and the words I said made a difference. I would admit that I forgot that only God can change a heart of stone to flesh.

I am not sure why I am there, but I'm pretty sure it is not to bring attention to myself. I'm quite certain that it is to proclaim truth, magnify God and shine a light, not on myself, but on sin. Being in this place of iniquity and death should cause me to be downcast, not uplifted.

When it is raining, no one stands outside to hear my droning. No one stays to ignore more than a sentence or two of Scripture. The rain quickly washes the hymns out of the air to splash on the pavement below.

There was a very large man waiting in a very large pickup truck. Its rumbling motor hummed most of the hour I was there. He seemed to be alone. Then, he turned off the motor, went inside, and came out with his arm around a little girl just as I was preparing to leave. He looked at me, to make sure that I was no threat and put her in the pickup truck and drove away. This time I cried as I walk back down College Avenue to my car. I returned to work soaked and discouraged.

Thursday, March 30

NOTE: There are several possible reasons for this post. Three of which I will accept and claim. Four that are pure. Five that are probably true. One that I pray that God will guard my heart against:
#1 I want to brag on myself.
#2 I want the flogging of the righteous.
#3 I want the counsel of the righteous.
#4 I want to remember this.
#5 I need help.

This morning, when I arrived on College Avenue the little, older escort (I think Carole told me her name was Marianne) and a younger (about early 30s) escort were sitting on the curb within the no-fly zone chatting. They looked up as I walked by and I smiled and waved. While I was doing it, I wondered if it would be more appropriate to shout some slogan; I had just walked past the Catholics wondering if I should be encouraging them to trust in the righteousness of Christ alone.

I have a Bible that I have had for about four months. It is to give away. I have had it too long. Pray that I will give it away soon.

I set it down by the telephone pole in the back corner of the parking lot and went and greeted Carole who was intent on someone, but glad for a hug. As I walked away a Friar who was talking to her returned to his soliloquy.

I stationed myself and opened my Bible. I was afraid this morning. I am always afraid, but this morning seemed more so, but it might be just because it was current. Then I noticed this new escort walking toward me. They never walk toward me. I just thought that was odd, and watched her as if she might do something else surprising or maybe she knew me. She walked up to me smiling and said that it was nice to see a friendly face, and quizzically asked if I was with... (making a gesture as if asking for an explanation of my purpose/association).

You have to know that I have talked to God very much about my countenance. My grandmother had a naturally stern-looking, down-turned mouth and she gave it to me along with her hair. My husband and kids are always misinterpreting my looks (well, sometimes;)) and it is because of this countenance. So when this woman said that it was nice to see someone with a friendly countenance, I thanked God inside.

I told her that I was here representing my Lord, Jesus Christ and that I would be happy to talk to her about Him. She backed up and spread her arms out and said that she is an Atheist and that she couldn't imagine that we have anything to talk about, and that He was a nice man, a really good man and all.... I told her that we have a lot to talk about, actually, but she walked away instead.

I thought later of many things I should have said...You know: Jesus could not have been a "good man" because he claimed to be God, so He either was, or he was a raving lunatic, which would make me a raving lunatic too.

That would be the primary one, I guess, but it just didn't come to mind. If you have anything that would be appropriate, please let me know.

There is a guard that I think has only been there for less than two months. He is young. He watches me. The escorts looked at me a lot today. They laughed at me, I think. I am a fool, and I know it.

I have thought that if I saw a woman out smoking a cigarette, maybe I could be brave enough to just suggest that she wait one week, and give her a Bible and my phone number. As I was leaving, though a woman was there but she was caught up in a conversation with a woman to whom I have talked on one occasion. She is a cloud without rain, but I just walked on by. I am pretty much a cloud without rain, myself. Any excuse is a good excuse to keep quiet.

From a comment under the post "All Other Ground is Sinking Sand" (February 23, 2006):

I do not want this cause to become an idol. It is God's word that we proclaim in it's marvelous fullness on Thursday mornings. Ours is not the gospel of pro-life, but the gospel of Jesus Christ.
God has also called us to make disciples of all nations. Go, seek the lost. Tell them about Christ. Find them where you work, where you go to school, where you go to church. Find them on College Avenue on Thursday mornings.
Yes, God is sovereign in salvation, and He has chosen to use you to accomplish His good will.
I hope to be
together with you in His service
&
subject to His word,
Rachel

Oil On My Head

HELLO...HELLo.....HELlo.....HEllo......Hello.........hell.o.o...o..hel...

Is anybody listening? Does anyone hear me? Does it matter?


I wonder sometimes if anyone reads this stuff. I know sometimes I have everything wrong, or at least perverted in some way. Very seldom am I subjected to rebuke or correction or even a good discussion.

Proverbs 26:3-5
3 A whip for the horse, a halter for the donkey,
and a rod for the backs of fools!

4 Do not answer a fool according to his folly,
or you will be like him yourself.

5 Answer a fool according to his folly,
or he will be wise in his own eyes.

I have often quoted verse four and even saw it worked out by Nehemiah. Imagine my surprise to see verse five! Friends, I don't want to be wise in my own eyes! I desire the correction of the righteous.

Proverbs 17
27 A man of knowledge uses words with restraint,
and a man of understanding is even-tempered.

28 Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent,
and discerning if he holds his tongue.

Well, shut my mouth! God sure has a way of getting to the point, eh?

MOST IMPORTANTLY:

Psalm 141:5 Let a righteous man strike me, it is a kindness;
let him rebuke me, it is oil on my head.
My head will not refuse it.

Please be bold to correct me where I am wrong. Please, let us reason together.

Psalm 141

Psalm 141

A psalm of David.

1 O LORD, I call to you; come quickly to me.
Hear my voice when I call to you.
2 May my prayer be set before you like incense;
may the lifting up of my hands be like the evening sacrifice.

3 Set a guard over my mouth, O LORD;
keep watch over the door of my lips.

4 Let not my heart be drawn to what is evil,
to take part in wicked deeds
with men who are evildoers;
let me not eat of their delicacies.

5 Let a righteous man strike me—it is a kindness;
let him rebuke me—it is oil on my head.
My head will not refuse it.
Yet my prayer is ever against the deeds of evildoers;

6 their rulers will be thrown down from the cliffs,
and the wicked will learn that my words were well spoken.

7 They will say, "As one plows and breaks up the earth,
so our bones have been scattered at the mouth of the grave."

8 But my eyes are fixed on you, O Sovereign LORD;
in you I take refuge—do not give me over to death.

9 Keep me from the snares they have laid for me,
from the traps set by evildoers.

10 Let the wicked fall into their own nets,
while I pass by in safety.

Righteous Lot

Sometimes, I read something in the Bible that shines a light on my disbelief. I read that I should love those who hate me and do good to them who despitefully use me. I read that I should love my neighbor and never return evil for evil, but return rather good for evil, and leave room for God's wrath. In my great wisdom, even while I say, "I believe God; His Word is True," I rationalize some things. Really, God must have meant to placate those who hate me, but never lose my dignity as a child of God over it. He must have meant don't do evil when evil is done to me, not actually to do GOOD to the one who deals with me despicably. Right? No, I cannot get that from Scripture.

When I despised God, and treated His good will as foolishness He loved me. He gave me life. He gave me day after day of sunshine and the common joy of life which is found in living and breathing and sharing this world that He created so beautifully with others whom He also created. Not only that, He LOVED me! He gave me a husband and children, when I had despised His plan for such. But that was not all, no sir! All the while I was mocking Him, He also turned my heart of stone to flesh and gave me repentance and faith and salvation! He gave me eternal life, according to His own good pleasure!

So He did not just fail to do evil to me when I did Him evil, but He did good as no one else can!

Everywhere I see, as He opens my eyes, that what He says in His word is true.

So when I read that Lot is Righteous, and I don't think he is, I must be wrong:

II Peter 2

4 For if God did not spare angels when they sinned, but sent them to
hell, putting them into gloomy dungeons to be held for judgment;
5 if he did not spare the ancient world when he brought the flood on its
ungodly people, but protected Noah, a preacher of righteousness, and
seven others; 6 if he condemned the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah by
burning them to ashes, and made them an example of what is going to
happen to the ungodly; 7 and if he rescued Lot, a righteous man, who was
distressed by the filthy lives of lawless men 8(for that righteous man,
living among them day after day, was tormented in his righteous soul by
the lawless deeds he saw and heard)— 9 if this is so, then the Lord
knows how to rescue godly men from trials and to hold the unrighteous
for the day of judgment, while continuing their punishment. 10 This
is especially true of those who follow the corrupt desire of the sinful
nature and despise authority.

(Thanks Midge!)

Without Love

1 Corinthians 13
Love
1. If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.
4. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10. but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

13. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Love, where does it come from. Is this not where we fail. Is the lack
of love not that which causes me to seek my own... to cling to and
fight for my own way and to heck with everyone else?

Listen to Church of the Good Shepherd sermon Fruit of the Spirit II from March 5, 2006

Of particular interest, is the idea that without love, giving my life to the flame is nothing. Without love, sharing the gospel is nothing! Where does this love come from? Should we not share the gospel or proclaim God's truth or give to the poor because we do not have love them? Should we stay away from our brothers, because we do not love them? Should we keep our mouths shut and cover our lamps because we do not love our enemies?

I John 3
Love one another
11 This is the message you heard from the beginning: We should love one another. 12 Do not be like Cain, who belonged to the evil one and murdered his brother. And why did he murder him? Because his own actions were evil and his brother's were righteous. 13 Do not be surprised, my brothers, if the world hates you. 14 We know that we have passed from death to life, because we love our brothers. Anyone who does not love remains in death. 15 Anyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life in him.
16 This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. 17 If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? 18 Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. 19 This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence 20 whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything.

21 Dear friends, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God 22 and receive from him anything we ask, because we obey his commands and do what pleases him. 23 And this is his command: to believe in the name of his Son, Jesus Christ, and to love one another as he commanded us. 24 Those who obey his commands live in him, and he in them. And this is how we know that he lives in us: We know it by the Spirit he gave us.

So we know that love is an action, but these actions without love are nothing. It is with love, I see now, the same as it was with faith... Lord, I fail to love you, give me your perfect love. God, I don't love my enemy, give me love for them. Lord, I live to please myself, give me your love by which I will consider others more than myself.

Looking at myself through someone else's window

All in one week:

From Sufficiently Suffonsified:

So I went. I even got there early. As I arrived, I was glad that I had made the decision to go. When Bible study started, I felt out of place. I was the youngest lady there. Satan again, saw the window of opportunity in my heart, and tried to convince me that I shouldn't go, because it's for "old ladies". How depressing.

(To my shame, I teased this poor girl who was baring her heart for Jesus. How proud I am, and slow to seek wisdom. Why is it that I would cling to the illusion of youth, when age is so much better in a plethora of ways!)

From a conversation with my daughter:

Me: I just hit 1101 hits on my blog, and probably at least 100 of them are not me!
Daughter: I have been to your blog.
Me: How many times?
Daughter: Once...it was boring.

(Boring? Really! I had no idea!)

From my co-workers:

My husband nick-named me The Bully. I can live with that. It is a way for him... well, actually, I can just live with it. Someone needs to be the meanie, right? So, at work, while we were sitting around eating pizza one day, I joked that my husband nick-named me "The Bully." Nobody laughed.

Ingrown Toenail

As soon as it is available, if you haven't heard it yet, go to The Church of the Good Shepherd's 2006 Sermons and listen to pastor Stephen Baker's Ingrown Toenail sermon (March 12, 2006).

This is a wake up call for us as followers of Christ, fishers of men, the salt of the earth and the light on a hill. As pastor Baker said, Jesus did not command us to be salt, just called us salt. He did not command us to be light, he called us light.

What He did was shame us if we are not salty salt. If we do not flavor, preserve and penetrate our world with the life-giving Gospel of Jesus Christ. If we are the same as the world around us, then we have lost our saltiness, our effectiveness. Did you ever think about the wish-washiness of unsalty Christians. The are inoffensive to be sure, but they also have nothing to say. There is no reason to listen to them.

He did command us to let our light shine before men. He said, as if it were to go without saying that you don't light a light and hide it, but you put it up high to shine for everyone to see and benefit from.

pastor Baker parodied our behavior as those holed up in a fort, lobbing unbelievable flaming messages of salvation to the savages outside the walls, but refusing to make actual contact with them; refusing to open the doors, and let their light so shine before them.

Was this, Pastor Baker asked, what our Lord did? No! He left the Purity of Heaven, so much purer than any environment we could create for ourselves in our little buildings, and plunged Himself into the muck of our existence. Are we to expect our path to be more pure than our Master's? Are we to refuse to get dirty, when Jesus Himself patiently fielded the foolish questions of the wise men of his day. He offered himself up for the sins of his enemies. He bled and sweat and cried for those so far lower than Himself that they cannot be compared to his holiness.

But, we refuse to listen to the foolish talk of the unsaved because it offends us. We won't befriend someone of a differing belief because they don't believe what we do. Jesus had twelve people very close to him, who usually did not understand things correctly, and one of them was a traitor! Jesus did not exclude Judas from the inner circle, and He know Judas from his mother's womb.

You don't know the end of the days of that person you won't befriend. Are you greater than your Master?

Oh, Father,
Forgive me for thinking I am too good to hear the foolishness of man. Forgive me for closing my heart to the dying people around me. How can they speak the language of Heaven, when they are bound to this earth and serve the prince of this world?
Send unbelievers into our lives, to live and move and have their being so closely that we will hear the desperation of their souls, and remember the egypt from which You have redeemed us. So burden our hearts for these people that to not speak would cause our mouthes to burn. Give us the love for You that will be revealed in our obedience; and for others that will be revealed in our countenance, our words, and our obedience to You.
In the name of Jesus Christ the Righteous Savior, Amen

I Had A Dream...

Last Saturday a friend woke up sobbing. She had a dream...

She and her husband and daughter were going somewhere. It was a cool, overcast day. They arrived in a parking garage near a fast-moving river. They walked to the adjacent building, laughing and talking.

When they went in, they found in a waiting room, three chairs together and sat together still talking and laughing. The atmosphere in this office was jovial, carefree, fun. A young woman brought somthing out of the office and walked with it through the waiting room to a door that I had not noticed before. She was talking and laughing with people in the waiting room. In order to open the door and put this something in it, she had to push something out of the way that was on the floor. I had not noticed it before. There were a couple of plastic bags, like roasting bags tightly sealed on the floor. She moved them first with her foot, still laughing and talking, and then with the door she was opening. She said something about them, and continued with her task. When she opened the heavy door, there appeared on the other side, cubbies, like post office boxes. Most of them had these bags in them and she was trying to stuff another one into a cubby that was already full. She was still laughing and talking when one of the bags popped out on the other side of the wall, and dropped into the river. Then I looked at the ones on the floor that had been in the way, and I saw that they were babies. All of the cubbies held these bags that were filled with babies. There was one in a cubby close to the floor that was alive still, and gasping for breath.

My friend looked at her husband and daughter and asked what is this place, but by then she knew. She looked in the eyes of her daughter and realized that there was so much there that she didn't know. Even then she still loved her daughter. In her shame at her ignorance, and realizing that if she spoke, she would stand alone, she fled. She escaped to a dark corner of the cool, damp parking garage, and sobbed, while the rushing river drowned the sound of her torment.

She awoke, sobbing. She tried to get back to sleep and go back into the clinic and talk to her husband and her daughter, but she could not.

The sadness of this dream stayed with her for several days. It was only a dream. What could make her so sad?

She was sad because this dream was a reflection of her desire to go with the flow. She desires to be the one who talks and laughs with her husband and daughter, and not the one who stands alone against what is wrong.

She was sad because this dream revealed to her that her timidity is a sin. There are times when we must speak out. There are times when it is too late.

She was sad that she was that cowering simp in the corner of a parking garage sobbing, rather than the mother in there reasoning with her daughter and standing boldly and in love for the truth.

Be Strong and Courageous

I was reading my At the Well Conversations post below and whining because no one would give me any tips, and the God of the universe gave me one:

7 For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power,
of love and of self-discipline.

8 So do not be ashamed to testify about our Lord, or ashamed of me his
prisoner. But join with me in suffering for the gospel, by the power of
God, 9 who has saved us and called us to a holy life—not because of
anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace. This
grace was given us in Christ Jesus before the beginning of time, 10 but
it has now been revealed through the appearing of our Savior, Christ
Jesus, who has destroyed death and has brought life and immortality to
light through the gospel. 11 And of this gospel I was appointed a herald
and an apostle and a teacher. 12 That is why I am suffering as I am. Yet
I am not ashamed, because I know whom I have believed, and am convinced
that he is able to guard what I have entrusted to him for that day.
(I Timothy 1:7-12)

Also:

5 The LORD will deliver them to you, and you must do to them all that I have commanded you. 6 Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."
(Deuteronomy 31:6)

Did God not say: Be my witness? Don't light a candle and hide it under a bushel? What is whispered in your ear, shout from the rooftops? If I wanted to find justification for witnessing to Christ in my world, I could find it in abundance. The only place that I can readily think of that tells me not to is: Don't throw your pearls before swine or they will trample them underfoot and then turn and devour you. I'm not sure we can recognize swine without help. I was very swinish back in the day.

So, I prayerfully go out into the field with my bag of seed. I want to sow bountifully. I will be speaking with abandon today. I will not abandon the gospel. I will not abandon truth. I will abandon my self, my self image. I would rather die than forsake my Lord.

Pray for me.